Paranoid! Help.

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by Cazza89, Apr 27, 2009.

  1. Cazza89

    Cazza89 Mummy of 1,expecting no.2

    Jan 13, 2009
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    Ladies i need help!

    I apologise now, incase this post gets long and i start to ramble!!

    Basically, i've started to become paranoid that my OH is cheating/has cheated??

    I've never been a paranoid, jealous person before. Is it just my hormones?

    I've not felt like this long, i know he loves me and i don't think he'd do it. . .but why am i thinking this? I have no reason to think it at all! He's no diff with me or been acting odd or anything.

    I've always been a very slim size 8-10 with 32D Boobs. . .and people have told me i should/could be a model. I've never had to watch what i eat and have been sooo lucky. I don't find pregnant women attractive. (no offence to all you ladies. . .that's what i've always thought). So am i being paranoid he wont like me when i'm fat? Well, not fat as such, but with my big bump, then after the birth? I love my bump, my slightly bigger boobs and bum. Hehe. I just don't see how people can find preg women attractive??
    I've also been worried about stretch marks (touch wood, not got any at 20 weeks and my bump is still small!)

    I have been feeling a bit down for a few days now, which OH noticed before i told him. I know i'm probably feeling like that because of hormones! I feel like i should be happy and excited as i have my scan tomorrow. . .but i don't. =( I am looking foward to it, don't get me wrong, but last week i was dead excited. Then OH said he was scared about the scan, he never said why. That then had me begin to worry a bit too.

    Baby was planned, we are both looking foward to being parents a lot! We don't live together just now. . .he lives an hour away. He comes to stay at mine and i stay at his quite a bit. We speak everyday via text and usually once or twice on the phone too.

    He is always going on about work, money, our future. We've even talked about getting engaged. He works 2 jobs, one's a security officer and the other a bouncer at nightclubs. (That's how we met, i was drunk and ended up going home with him-he lives alone in a bedsit thingy. And i know he met a girl from his bouncing work before he met me and ended up sleeping with her. I know i was stupid to go home with him but it has turned out to be the best thing ever. I also know he cheated on his ex. . .but that ended badly and he's changed as he learnt his lesson in a very bad way!)
    I know how easy it would be for him to do it.
    He knows i feel like that and when we met we were both very honest about our pasts.
    We had a rough patch and split when i was about 2months gone for 6weeks and he was a mess! He was nearly put on anti depresants. He says he wouldn't do it and he'd have too much to lose. I do think he means that.

    Another reason why i'm a bit warey of fully trusting him again is because before xmas (before i fell preg), his ex heard a roumer and contacted him. All fine with me as they were meant to be 'friends' after they split, and i have ex's who are still friends. Well she tried to stir shit then and he told me he never wanted to talk to her, blah, blah, blah. Then when she heard i was preg (all she wanted was a baby and marriage when she was with my OH but he didn't want that with her) and contacted him again. (we weren't together at this time but he told me) I was annoyed as she only ever wanted to talk to him when she heard some gossip or news. I spoke to her, she said stuff and he said opposite. Lots of lies and i was confused and angry. Well, off he went again, was annoyed because of more shit stirring on her part and he repeated what he'd said before. Well a few weeks ago i found out he had spoken to her after the first time he said he didn't want to. When we were still together, getting on fine. . .yet he failed to tell me!! Grr! Even though all along i've said if they want to be civil/friends etc, just tell me. I'd be ok with it. He knows exactly what she's like with lying and shit stirring from when they split up. Why didn't he learn then? He still feels guilty for cheating on her but she made him feel like EVERYTHING was his fault, when by listening to stories, they were both bad and bad together. He felt like he should give her another chance. ( just by talking to her etc. Nothing more.) Anyway, he's said he meant what he said this time and promised etc but i'm still warey.

    My ex was always accusing me of cheating although i never did it and never would. He was extremely insecure and paranoid. Has he passed this onto me?

    Soz for the VERY long post. I just need help. =( x x

    I'm just confused as to why i'm feeling paranoid.
  2. lovedupgirl

    lovedupgirl Well-Known Member

    Nov 18, 2008
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    AWW hun sending big :hugs: I can totally relate to the way you are feeling I am normally a size 8 and have had food issues in the past,I feel a bit like you do I love and want this baby but I am paranoid that my OH wont like my changing shape.Little bit of info for you though:I have NEVER met a man that does not find pregnant woman attractive,they love us when we are all ripe and curvy :happydance:You are probably even more attractive to your OH while you are carrying his baby!
    Your paranoia is probably your hormones hun but sit down with your OH and tell him how your feeling,tell him its not that you dont trust him its just your feeling a bit hormonal and need some reassurance,hope you feel better soon!
  3. PrettyBonk

    PrettyBonk Alex,Abigail,&Grace's mom

    Oct 21, 2008
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    Pure hormones and because of what happned in his past you are being paranoid...
    but he shouldnt feel guilty he cheated on her...its in the past and done and now he is with you...I don't think he could be her friend because of the way she is...there is obviously something there...she still has something for him...and that is just going to be problems...when I started going out with my oh...his x was so depressed because of their break up and bc I was pregnant that she went on anti depressants...he felt bad...and he continued to be "friends" with her...hed try to not talk to her anymore...but she wanted to "kill" herself so he ended up feeling for her again...I felt a bit bad for her but did not like it...because I knew he still had feelings for her since they were together for 4 years and they were eachothers first puppy love and everything and I was just the friend who slept with him and got pregnant...She was just problem after problem...I moved in with him and it was hell...she even came to his house...and when I aproached her to talk to her...she slapped of course ...I beat her ass lmao...and that was was a "fdiendship" or me...he picked me...good choice he made...we have been together for 8 years and he said that he was a child and didnt know any better when he was with her that it was HELL lmao....

    I've been always very thin and I was a model...I have 2 kids and I'm pregnant now and now is that my body decided to yours may not change all that much...

    one thing...if you feel ugly and fat...ppl will see you as accept your body and its changes...even if you fear the outcome lol as I am as well...and feel fab...I still dress very cute and I put on makeup...wear my sun glasses...I just look cool and pretty...some say I look sexy...I don't think preggies are unatractive at all...that is just wrong...and your oh if he loves ...he'll accept you oh doesnt seem to noticed my changing body...but only the growing belly...he's say hed stop having sex with me because of the belly...but he hasnt...and hes the one who wants it... he tells me I'm beautiful everytime we are having :sex:

    dont push him away with your jelousy caused by your hormones hun...remember his life is about to change... drastic...and this is a very fragile time for him as well.

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