Paranoid...

Discussion in 'Pregnancy After A Loss' started by lisaalove, May 29, 2020.

  1. lisaalove

    lisaalove Well-Known Member

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    I feel like I'm just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I'm waiting to hear bad news, I'm waiting to see blood when I wipe. Never in a million years did I think I'd be this paranoid after my mmc. I've been having some cramps on my right side and my brain just keeps jumping to the worst possible scenario. I cant relax, I cant enjoy it. Am I going to continue to feel like this the entire pregnancy? Will it fade after my first scan. I just hate how negative I'm being how nothing anyone says to me is calming me down. I scheduled my first appointment for after I lost my twins so that maybe I would actually feel hopeful. Now I'm just anxiety ridden and cant believe I have to wait three more weeks. Sorry for the rant guys I just cant stop thinking about every possible thing that can go wrong and I dont want to be like this. I never used to be like this.
     
  2. Nima

    Nima Well-Known Member

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    Oh Lisa I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. I was the same after my losses. With this pregnancy I think it calmed only after I started feeling her movements and could know she's alive. I still often wake up in the morning thinking the worst. And I was never an anxious or paranoid person before. It's just so traumatic to lose the thing that is most important to you in the world. I'm happy for you that you're pregnant again and crossing my fingers that all is good this time.
     
  3. lisaalove

    lisaalove Well-Known Member

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    Thanks nima, I still stalk the june july thread, it gives me some joy to see you guys having your babies. Itll be your turn soon enough! I ended up calling my ob office and was a blubbering mess. I actually have an appointment wednesday, the front desk lady helped me calm down and said if it will give me peace of mind then of course they'll give me a scan even though I wont see anything. Just knowing it's there and in my uterus I think will help me calm down a tiny bit. I've felt a sense of calm come over me the last few days and I just keep reminding myself that what is going to be will be and I have to accept whatever that is. I cannot control this and while it sucks I just have to enjoy it while I can. (Though I still really dont feel pregnant, just sore breasts.)
     
  4. Nima

    Nima Well-Known Member

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    Sending you huge hugs ♡
    If it's any consolation, I also didn't feel pregnant for many many weeks
     
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  5. Deethehippy

    Deethehippy 4 children, 3 angels

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    Oh Lisa, I remember exactly how you feel and it's so hard and unnerving. I used to be scared to wipe each time I went to the loo!
    Before my twins I had two miscarriages, one at 8 weeks and one at 12 weeks...the 12 week one I had absolutely no idea baby had died and we took our older two children along to the scan so they could see their sibling and then got told there was no heartbeat (baby was 12 week size so had only just passed maybe a day or so before). When I got pregnant with the twins I felt the same as you and was so sure everything would go wrong again and then when I spotted at 8 weeks I just assumed it was all over. We got the surprise of our lives at that early scan to find out not only was it not over but we had twins.. But I still worried every day until they were born.
    There's nothing anyone can say or do really to make you feel better but worrying can't change anything so please just try to take it one day at a time.
    Not every lady has symptoms all the time..I used to find mine came in waves..my boobs were sore and then I didn't notice it for the rest of a day. Every pregnancy is also different.
    Sending you some positivity and hugs :hugs:
     
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