Parenting and raising step children ?

[Lady_J]

Im just curious to see what you all think about parenting the step children in your life.

Do you also parent and have an imput on your step children 50/50 with your partner or do you leave it to the biological parent to do all the parenting ?

xx

 

[samsugar7]

Its more 30/70 and the 70 being me, E is only with us every other weekend but because she can run a muck at home and OH doesnt want to be the bad guy but i refuse to let her swear, go through my fridge and eat whatever she wants and generally be a pest. She is only 5 and that behaviour is unacceptable. So i made the choice to be the bad guy, i know that a lot of step children are in different circumstances this is just my experience. x

 

[Love]

My DH does most of the parenting, I am more like best-friend advisory to the kid..she is 6 soo I just show her the right ways of being a good girl. Other than that I help with bathing her and her hair and stuff like that..

 

[charlotteb24]

Completely 50/50 here! I have a 7 and a 17 year old step son and I have known then since they were 2.5 and 13! They respect me and i respect them and they listen to me like I am another parent. I love them to pieces! It's got the the point where at times, their mum rings me to arrange things rathe than their dad! It's an arrangement which works well, no hard feelings between me and their biological mum, I was on the scene 3 years after they divroced and no hard feelings between my OH and his ex wife, most of the time! So the kids are happy! Shame that's not always the case with step children, but we are very lucky!

 

[ladyjayne]

Hubby does most of the parenting but to be honest I'll do the dicipline. He only gets her one weekend a month and holidays, so on those weekends he doesnt want to upset her, i dont like it either but if she's misbehaving i'll be the one who puts a stop to it. On the other hand when shes with us on holidays DH does discipline then.
It never used to be like this though, in the beggining i felt uncomfortable telling her off as if it wasnt my place. But 3 years on, we know where each others boundries are and she knows when shes doing something that i consider naughty, adn i know what her mum and dad think are naughty now so I know where to say no to things. Its a fine balance, I'm a parent figure in her life, but I dont want to push things too far. I'm terrified of the day she does the YOUR NOT MY MUM you cant tell me what to do, bit.

 

[nzblondie]

Its about 60/40 at our place with me being the 40. OH maily does the discipline stuff like sending them to their rooms when they are naughty or taking away privilages...but to be honest I don't think he would do that if I wasn't there!! I do the cooking etc for them as well as bathtime and OH does bedtimes. I guess I do more of the fun stuff with them like baking etc. Its hard because their mother is a evil woman who is adament that my partner left her for me...(which is total crap by the way) so she refuses to let them even mention my name when they are around her and poisons their innocent little minds. Thankfully they are beginning to see what she is doing.

Anyway, she lets them run loose in her home and has no rules or routine as she says(and I quote) ' I don't want them to have any bad memories of me' so she never tells them off and showers them with lavish gifts all the time. So basically everytime we see them they've slipped back into their old bad habits and we have to start again. Its very stressful!

 

[DottyLottie]

50/50 here, OH is the step parent and as far as he is concerned just as much a parent as I, which I fully support. I think it is important to note though that the kids biological father is not around, I think many families who have kids seeing both parents regularly might have a different relationship with step parents..?

 

[Sam9kids]

50/50 here, i have my (my eldest 2 are from a previous partner so my hubby is their stedad) and 3 step kids. The older 2 are in their 20s now but actually came to live with us in their teens and my 15 year old stepson stays every fri and sat. I believe in equal treatment for all of the kids. My hubby treats my eldest 2 like his, and i treat his like mine, including the telling off, the lectures (lol) etc