Partner who smokes?

[loeylo]

Does anyone else have a partner who smokes? Mines smokes about 10 a day so not a heavy smoker (he usually only smokes half a cigarette too) but he has done so for 10-12 years. He has never smoked in the house and now doesn't smoke in the car either so passive smoking isn't a massive concern to me, but obviously having him smoking and me being pregnant is a concern now!

For the first time ever, he has shown an interest in giving up. He is the sort of person who worries about failing, plus he is currently in a phased return to work after being off for a few months with depression and anxiety. He is on beta blockers and antidepressants, has been on beta blockers for a whole but the antidepressants are new and he is keen to get off them ASAP, so he doesn't want to do any of the medicated approaches to stopping.

He is considering a vapouriser as a few of his friends have weaned off nicotine this way and only use flavours now, with the view to stopping permanently. I think this is probably a good route as he can still keep his "routine" of going outside for a few draws whilst weaning himself off nicotine, plus it won't stress him out thinking he isn't getting any if that makes sense?

We spoke to be nurse at the doctors surgery and she was as useful as a chocolate teapot! She just shunned him off and didn't really offer any advice, or point us in the right direction.

I have my booking appointment tomorrow (finally!) - will my midwife ask about his smoking? Will she offer help for him stopping? Heis too nervous to bring it up to the nurse/doctor because of the nurses reaction last time, but I also hope the midwife doesn't approach it in an aggressive manner as he need a softly-softly approach.

As I have never smoked I feel I can't really help him as much as I would like, I have given up lots so far this pregnancy and been fine with it but I have never been properly addicted to something so I understand it isn't that easy for him.

All I'm looking for is:
A) what support do midwifes offer for partners who smoke?
B) is vapourising a reliable way to stop? Aside from potential safety concerns which we are both aware of.
C) what can I do?

 

[maryanne1987]

I don't thnk the midwife will offer any support to stop him smoking hun, at my booking in appointments it's never even been asked if my dh smoked or not. The midwife will just focus on you and if you smoked offer you help to quit. I'd say best bet is to see if your gp could help or if they could refer him to the stop smoking service, or if not Google the number and do a self referral. They have posters up everywhere where we live with a freephone number. I gave up smoking a long time ago when I fell pregnant with my son, and to be honest cold turkey really is the best way. Three days of hell but then it was done. You just have to be in that mindset to want to do it. Just for me personally dragging it out by cutting down or nicotine replacement would have made it a million times harder.

 

[jlw617]

Yep, I think cold turkey is the best way to go, I've never been a smoker but my dh used to be a major alcoholic, one night after drinking and just being absolutely belligerent to my brothers family and just acting like an idiot and finally getting beat up by my brother, he completely gave it up and has not had a sip since then. My mom also smoked for about 20 years and finally gave it up cold turkey...would it help him if you two researched effects it can have on a baby in and out of the womb? I know they say your chances of sids gos up with a smoker...hope I'm not scaring you, I think it's wonderful he wants to give it up!

 

[misspriss]

So glad your partner is interested in quitting. My DH's cousin just had a baby, her @-hole husband refused to quit smoking around her. He smoked in their bed with her, in their studio apartment, in the car with her...etc. She had a lot of complications with her pregnancy and a lower birth weight baby. I wish every partner was as good as yours, not smoking inside and stuff. I hope that you guys get the support you need from somewhere! There are TONS of stop smoking resources here in the US, I don't know if it's as common in the UK.

 

[sweetpea101]

Do you live in the uk? I have just had my booking appointment today. My partner smokes and they have referred him to get help with quitting. They even come to your house and it's free for him too x

 

[His Princess]

At my booking in appointment, my MW asked us both whether we smoked, so there's a chance yours will too. She also asked DH whether he wanted a referral.

Both my DH and I used to smoke and gave up when we were TTC. I haven't smoked for around 2.5 years now, although I did go back to social smoking after my MMC. I was at a point where I didn't enjoy smoking, so it didn't bother me too much- I quit cold turkey. My DH on the other hand actually enjoyed smoking. Had it not been for the fact that he wanted a baby and I hadn't quit, he would have carried on.

With regards to vapourisers; I think they're good to help people quit, providing they use them to wean themselves off cigarettes, instead of using them as a replacement. My DH has replaced cigarettes with his vapouriser, which isn't ideal and he will freely admit that if he didn't have that, he would smoke. That being said, I'd rather him use that than smoke actual cigarettes and he won't be using it around the baby x

 

[loeylo]

Yeah I'm in the uk. I know that my gran got a sort of vapouriser e cig type thing on the nhs a while ago, I would trust that more than one on the high street! I thought something may be said at the booking appt due to the SIDS risk. They did specifically ask me over the phone at my pre booking consultation about my partners smoking and asked a few questions (right before "do either of you take recreational drugs" and "have you got any social services involvement" lol) which is why I wondered if they may refer us onto someone. He isn't interested in the counselling idea (which I know really helps some people) - he was referred for counselling for his mental health issues and didn't go. That being said a more informal meeting would help I think, I don't want to be seen to be nagging him as I know even beginning to stop is a huge step for him and I know that he needs to want to do this for himself.

 

[jlw617]

So glad your partner is interested in quitting. My DH's cousin just had a baby, her @-hole husband refused to quit smoking around her. He smoked in their bed with her, in their studio apartment, in the car with her...etc. She had a lot of complications with her pregnancy and a lower birth weight baby. I wish every partner was as good as yours, not smoking inside and stuff. I hope that you guys get the support you need from somewhere! There are TONS of stop smoking resources here in the US, I don't know if it's as common in the UK.

Wow what a jerk! It would take a lot for me to not have some words with him!

 

[Jessicahide]

Does anyone else have a partner who smokes? Mines smokes about 10 a day so not a heavy smoker (he usually only smokes half a cigarette too) but he has done so for 10-12 years. He has never smoked in the house and now doesn't smoke in the car either so passive smoking isn't a massive concern to me, but obviously having him smoking and me being pregnant is a concern now!

For the first time ever, he has shown an interest in giving up. He is the sort of person who worries about failing, plus he is currently in a phased return to work after being off for a few months with depression and anxiety. He is on beta blockers and antidepressants, has been on beta blockers for a whole but the antidepressants are new and he is keen to get off them ASAP, so he doesn't want to do any of the medicated approaches to stopping.

He is considering a vapouriser as a few of his friends have weaned off nicotine this way and only use flavours now, with the view to stopping permanently. I think this is probably a good route as he can still keep his "routine" of going outside for a few draws whilst weaning himself off nicotine, plus it won't stress him out thinking he isn't getting any if that makes sense?

We spoke to be nurse at the doctors surgery and she was as useful as a chocolate teapot! She just shunned him off and didn't really offer any advice, or point us in the right direction.

I have my booking appointment tomorrow (finally!) - will my midwife ask about his smoking? Will she offer help for him stopping? Heis too nervous to bring it up to the nurse/doctor because of the nurses reaction last time, but I also hope the midwife doesn't approach it in an aggressive manner as he need a softly-softly approach.

As I have never smoked I feel I can't really help him as much as I would like, I have given up lots so far this pregnancy and been fine with it but I have never been properly addicted to something so I understand it isn't that easy for him.

All I'm looking for is:
A) what support do midwifes offer for partners who smoke?
B) is vapourising a reliable way to stop? Aside from potential safety concerns which we are both aware of.
C) what can I do?

Vaping is a fantastic alternative to smoking, no need to give up if he doesn't wat too, I recommend he uses British made oils and a "kangor evod" Avalible from "vapeland" I don't see the ham in replacing fags with a vape, the need to give up is taken away iykwim?!

 

[Indi84]

I have quite a few friends doing fantastically with e-cigerates, what about them? I don't smoke so don't know to much about them!