Paternity/conception question...

[ambertwogood]

Hi, I just found out I'm pregnant about 2 weeks ago. I went for my first ultrasound today and they measured the baby. She told me according to the measurements that I am 9 weeks 2 days. The first day of my last period was on April 23, I have 30 day cycles. I have been with my fiance for 5 yrs, 2 of which we tried to conceive and never did. for the end of April and until about the 19th of May we were having sex pretty frequently, after the 19th I didn't sleep with my fiance and had sex with someone else around the 20th. I wondering which one is more likely to be the father. When we had been trying to conceive I ws tracking my ovulation and I normally ovulated on about day 17. This is my first pregnancy and I am already showing, (Im small framed) my uterus hs come from behind my pubic bone and is above it by almost two inches...which I didn't think happened at 9wks. From today back 9weeks and 2 days if I conceived then than I would think that it would be my fiance's, which would leave me with LMP of April 23 and ceonceiving between the 5th -11th....What do you guys think and who would you mostly likely think the father is? Could my ultrasound estimated time be wrong? PLEASE HELP WITHOUT JUDGING IM VERY STRESSED

 

[xxyjadexx]

I don't think you can ever say 100 percent without testing but you can only conceive whilst ovulating and if you did ovulate on cycle day 17 it is most probably your fiancée.

 

[skyesmom]

going by your lmp you should be 12 weeks so it doesn't add up with your scan dates making it all more confusing. so i assume they are declaring this from the day of conception and not from your LMP as it doesn't make sense. In this case, it's your fiance's most likely.

 

[RaspberryK]

If you are 9+2 you would have conceived around 28th May ... see link

https://www.pregnology.com/faralong.php?month=2&day=17&year=2015

 

[skyesmom]

but since her lmp and her scan dates are off by 3 weeks i wouldn't trust the online predictors.

 

[RaspberryK]

I haven't gone by lmp I put in a due date to correspond with 9 weeks and 2 days which was what the scan said which should be more accurate than lmp or when she thinks she may have ovulated.
That online calculator shows the conception date based on how far along she is measuring.
Xx

 

[ambertwogood]

going by your lmp you should be 12 weeks so it doesn't add up with your scan dates making it all more confusing. so i assume they are declaring this from the day of conception and not from your LMP as it doesn't make sense. In this case, it's your fiance's most likely.

This is what I was thinking too bc the dates just do not add up. Has anyone ever had an ultrasound and they gave you fetal age and not gestational age? I just dont see anyway possible for me to have ovulated bsically when I should of been having my first missed period. Has tht happened to any of you who track ovultion?

 

[RaspberryK]

A couple of ladies in the February group have had this even though they are usually regular in their cycles.
It's totally possible that with any extra worry you may have had over your situation delayed ovulation, I know stress and anxiety can have a huge impact on what goes on with your cycle.
Xx

 

[bazzb]

If you are 9+2 you would have conceived around 28th May ... see link

https://www.pregnology.com/faralong.php?month=2&day=17&year=2015

What she said
You must hVe ovulated late ... If scan showed 9'weeeks

Did u have set with your partner around the end of May?

 

[minties]

I've never had a sonographer measure by fetal age, ultrasound machines measure by gestational age.

It does sound like you conceived around the time of sex with the other man, unless you had sex with your fiancé again after that?

 

[skyesmom]

if the conception was indeed around 28 may and you slept with the other guy on the 20th it's kinda hard as well that the 20th was in your fertile window frame... did you sleep with your fiance' after 19th? or with the other guy? whoever is the closest to the 28th then is more likely to be the father.

 

[ambertwogood]

Honestly, I think my dating scan is off. This is my first pregnancy, I'm already showing, my uterus is about an inch n a half above my pubic bone nd I felt the baby rolling around last night and today. I think I'm more like 12 weeks and not nine.

 

[NewBeginins]

Honestly you really are 50/50 at this point, especially if you were under stress at the time and it could have thrown your cycle off.

 

[Nikki1979]

I think you may have ovulated late as dating ultrasounds are more accurate if done in the first trimester ( margin of error is 3-5 days).When I was pregnant with my DS, I went for my first scan at 12wk6days (from lmp) and ultrasound showed 13wk2days. The tech said it can be off by 3-5 days or i could have ovulated a few days earlier.

I wouldnt use how soon you show as an indicator of how far along you are. My SIL and I were pregnant at the same time. I was due one week before her. She was showing by 8 weeks and everyone knew she was pregnant. At 16 weeks people used to ask me if I was really pregnant as I wasnt showing at all and I was really thin ( weighed 103-105lbs) at 5ft5

I have also read that sometimes inexperienced technicians can make mistakes in dating ultrasounds. Can you get another ultrasound done for your peace of mind just to make sure?

Good Luck to you.

 

[ttc126]

Hey hon, no judgement here.


As for paternity, i don't think there's a 100% way to know except testing. But if you slept with your fiance around the end of May I'd say it's his.

 

[minties]

I doubt an ultrasound could be out by 3 weeks at that stage. The baby grows heaps around then. They would have to had measure the CRL wrong by a couple of cm!

I think you're hoping it's that off so imagining all the movement? Rolli g around and uterus that pronounced would be extraordinary even for 12 weeks let alone 9. A 12 week baby is only around 5.5cm long, and 9 week one about 3.5cm. You're probably feeling poo and farts.

 

[Eleanor ace]

I'd go for another scan (if that is possible) just in case the sonographer did make a mistake. Do you have a picture from your scan? A 9 week baby looks very different to a 12 week baby so you should be able to see if the scan dates see wrong. I would honestly be surpised if they got it that wrong, it isn't something I've ever heard of happening, but that doesn't mean it couldn't. I popped/showed early with my 1st, my uterus was palpable above my bellybutton a few weeks before 12 weeks and I bloated and showed early, but I was told that these things are indicators of how far on you are but not a guarantee- every woman's body is different.
Have you spoken to your OH about it? I'd thik that the best thing to do is get another scan (asap as after the 1st tri they are less reliable for dating I think) to check your dates and to talk to your midwife or whoever is overseeing your care about your concerns over dates- explain the situation and they will be able to give you a good indication of when you conceived and who is the father. Obviously they won't be able to give you a definite answer, you'd need a DNA test for that, but hopefully it will at least let you know where you likely stand

ETA- I meant to write that my uterus was palpable below my bellybutton . In my pregnancy book it says uterus palpable 3 fingers below bellybutton.

 

[minties]

Your uterus was above your belly button before 12 weeks?! Belly button level is usually 20 weeks, that's insane growth.

 

[bdb84]

Can you post your ultrasound picture for us? We'll be able to tell, by looking at it, if the baby is closer to 9 weeks or 12 weeks. There's a big difference in growth and form.

 

[victoria1987]

As others have mentioned ultrasounds are always +/- 5 days so not a great way to determine conception. This is especially true the later in the pregnancy you are (so if you were say 5 weeks at the scan the date may be more accurate than 9). When I went for my second scan at 12 weeks it showed the baby being 6 days ahead of where he was at my 7 week scan (they almost pushed my EDD ahead) and by my 20 week he measured back at the original dates. The scans aren't accurate for dates and babies have growth spurts so not a good way to tell.

Bottom line is you will NEED to have a paternity test. I say this with no judgement, but for your child's sake he needs to know who his biological father is even simply for health history reasons. Obviously this is difficult as I am assuming you do not intend to tell your fiance that you are unsure he is the father but maybe you could ask the other man to submit a DNA sample to compare when the baby is born. That way whatever the results you will know for sure and you don't have to tell fiance, yet you can still have the peace of mind of knowing your child's parentage if any health issues do come up.