patience wearing out

[itsnowmyturn]

I don't have much longer to wait until my zoladex injection wears off, only 1 week and 6 days, however I then have to wait for my cycle to come back, I could ovulate straight away or it could take 6 months. Since me and oh agreed to start TTC after my course of treatment I have watched so many people have babies and get pregnant.

A girl at work has just left for her maternity leave, my sil had a sweep on Wednesday and is now trying everything in the book to get labour going. At least 3 of my old and current friends have had babies and I'm now just really wanting it to be my turn.

I have been as patient as I can and found things to take my mind off it but now I can't stop thinking about being pregnant and having a baby. Every name I hear I think would that be a nice name for our children, when sorting clothes out I think will that be nice to wear when pregnant. It is now completely consuming my life.

I think if 1 week and 6 days was my TTC date I would be ok but as I have an uncertain date I think its makig it harder, my date depends on my body, I will just be in limbo for a while and won't really no what's happening

Pointless post but I feel like I need to get a grip and I no u ladies will understand where I'm coming from

 

[lovetocruise]

I'm sorry, that's a really difficult place to be in. Fingers crossed that your cycle returns to normal asap!
I do know how you feel, I've also become completely baby-pregnancy-obsessed lately and it just gets worse as our TTC date gets closer.

 

[itsnowmyturn]

I honestly thought it would get easier as it got closer but it really doesn't. When it was 12 weeks or even 8 weeks away I was at the excited phase because it was still sort of far away. I don't no why it gets harder but it just does. Luckily the time is going very quick but just not quick enough

 

[Amalee]

I don't know much about Zoladex or anything, but I hope you don't have to wait too long. Regardless, it'll be nice having you over in TTC with me!

Do you think you'll start trying once it's done just incase ovulation starts right back up, or are you waiting to see how your cycles go?

 

[itsnowmyturn]

No I'm starting right away. I would love to be caught without knowing I'd ovulated and just be like where the hell is my period oh wait Il pregnant lol. I think I'm guna use both TTC and ntnp for a while as I technically can't try until I ovulate but I won't be preventing in the hope I am ovulating. Plus I'm not really sure which one I belong in. Plus I will miss the wtt ladies that I have got to no over the last 2 months

 

[Amalee]

Yeah, that's why I'm still hanging out in WTT as well I consider myself pretty prepared for trying, but TTC is overwhelming to me, so I enjoy NTNP a bit more, myself.

 

[itsnowmyturn]

I personally enjoy some of the chats that aren't all about pregnant or TTC and I think in TTC there aren't many of them but iv been nosing in ntnp and it seems a bit more like wtt where we just chat about anything.

My oh randomly mentioned babies earlier we were watching strictly come dancing and abbey Clancy was on and he said abbey is a nice name, its nice when he says things, we all no it doesn't occupy men's minds 24/7 like it does us women so every now n then its nice to know he's thinking of it occasionally too. Unfortunately we still haven't been able to bd since my surgery in July so we have got a very short time to achieve that lol.

I just want this wait to be over now, but more than anything I want my body to get back to normal, I'm finally off pain relief and my body is recovering from the withdrawal.

 

[Amalee]

Yeah, I completely agree. Even the threads in WTT where we chat about what we want to do before TTC, plans for parenting, plans for telling people, etc, which are baby related are still such fun conversations, and I feel like we've gotten to know each other's personalities a bit. I completely understand that some people want to strictly talk DPO, cervical fluid, and symptom spotting, but I like the camaraderie in here! NTNP seems more friendly, whereas TTC seems like a science.

 

[itsnowmyturn]

It consumes my thoughts enough without talking about my mucus lol. I wana take the approach to it as relaxed as possible but I want it to he sort of all baby related if u no what I mean, I want to come on to talk to like minded ppl where we all no were all here for babies but also to take our mind off stuff and pass time xx

 

[Hollynesss]

Totally agree with both of you, itsnowmyturn and Amalee! I have ventured many times into the TTC forum, and to me the vibe is sheer panic! Everyone is "oh my god, someone please interpret this symptom RIGHT NOW!!!" Haha. I'm sure I'll be right there with all of them when I get there, but for now I do enjoy the relaxed, friendly environment of WTT.

I understand your frustration. Honestly, if I were you I'd just go at it, NTNP, right when your injection wears off. Since you don't know when you'll be ovulating, you have nothing to lose by jumping right into it as well as using OPKs or charting, or whatever strikes your fancy I hope AF returns quickly for you!!

I have 8 weeks to go now, and I am excited, terrified, anxious, and impatient! Its has been such a "down the road" concept, that the closer and more real it gets, the more nervous I get as well. I can't wait to join you girls on the other side

 

[itsnowmyturn]

I remember when mine got to 8 weeks, that was when, for me, it got real. I was like wow this really is going to happen, and each time it goes from x week to x week and x days it feels even more real because the week number has gone down.

My biggest fear is that my endometriosis is going to come back and the pain will stop me having sex, which obviously will stop me getting pregnant. Before I went on zoladex I wud get the pain once every 2 months and it wud last a week (before that it was once every 3 months and last 2 weeks so it progressed) but if in that week I ovulate it means I can't possibly get pregnant that month. I no that eventually my endo pain will increase to 2 weeks and then it will progress to every month and then I'm not going to have much luck.
The thing that really scares me is that in the years iv had endo I haven't ever not been on bc which was probably somewhat suppressing it so I'm worried it will be even worse without it.

Obviously I won't no any of this until the zoladex wears off.

1 week and 5 days!!! I just wish it wud stop dragging now and be here already lol.