PD

[turbo_mom]

So I'm finally admitting to myself that i'm pretty sure i've got postpartum depression....I just don't feel right and i've been reading up on it.. I have many signs and symptoms of it.... I'm not sure how to deal with it. But I want it gone so that I can feel happy about life.
I'm exhausted all the time, sex is non existant, and I feel like i'm a total failure. I'm trying to cope with everything. I've got a very sick baby in the hospital who isn't coming home for 2 more months, we're due to move in a month, Jays going to be going to school, i'm having troubles getting my milk flowing... There's just so many things going on and i'm starting to feel overwhelmed. I just want to cry all the time and it's starting to effect OH. I'm snappy and nagging at him all the time for the smallest things. I'm just not a happy person and i'm not the most enjoyable to be around. I always used to be laughing and smiling. Now I look exhausted all the time and I just feel hopeless and unattractive..
Today we got news that Angel has to remain on CPAP until further notice because she was desatting on nasal canulla.. I tried to have a cuddle with her and held her for 2 minutes before she desatted to 49!!!! I felt like shit and all I could think was that it was my fault and that I just can't do anything right. I feel so helpless
I'm sad and scared because i've never been depressed before.
Ladies help. What can be done for me? Who here has experienced PD and how was it treated? How did you feel afterwards? Did you get better? I am going to ask the nurses at the hospital tomorrow if I can see a counselor and see if I need some meds. I really don't want to deal with this for a long time...

 

[lilmumma]

i know exactly what you mean. everything you described there is the stuff going through my head, even now. I have him home, so i dont know how your feeling without Angel at home. But i know what you mean. i cant give advice, ive never said about it before to anyone until now, but i can relate, and i just hope for you it goes away x

 

[mickey]

I can well imagine how much difficult it is to deal with all this!

try to keep being strong talk to your partner, mw, GP and first thing, very important, remember it is not your fault what happened to your LO!

you have done so well so far, I really MUST say!!! of course one day you will be exhausted with all the strenght you have to bring up to cope with all this!

all the best

 

[sweetsammi]

Aww hun. I'm so sorry you are having so many difficulties in your life at the moment. Mother hood is difficult and stressfull enough without everything you are going through on top! I'm no counsellor or expert, but I dont really think it is PND. To be fair your having to deal with alotta shit and anyone would feel the same in your shoes! Blimey i know ive felt similar sometimes since being a new mum and im not going through what you are! Respect to you hun, youre holding in there and i think you are being very strong. I am sure it all must feel impossible and neverending at the minute but things will get better for you. None of this is your fault, it couldnt have been helped and you are not a failure, you are being a mum to Angel. and a great one at that by the sounds of it. Alot of people would have fallen apart by now. Your baby is poorly in hospital its perfectly normal to be feeling overwhelmed, exhausted and down i dont know any mother that wouldnt be feelin this in your shoes. Take care sweetie and i wish you all the luck in the world. Keep your head up. I hope things get better quickly and that you can bring your LO home soon. xx

 

[beanie]

Hi. It does sound like it could be PND but it could also be just everyhting catching upon you. The first thing to do is talk to your doctor, see what he/she says. I had PND after my baby was born and still am ongoing with treatment though am off the meds at the moment. I am more then happy to talk about it with you if it would help.

 

[turbo_mom]

Thank you so much ladies your kind words bring tears to my eyes I guess I just hide everything well... the stress of dealing with everything. I try to be as optimistic and care free about it al but it's starting to catch up with me. I am going to talk to my doctors anyways and see what she thinks. Because if it is PND I want to get it treated right away.
Beanie i'd love to chat with you about it. I don't know anyone else who's dealt with PND and I really dont know what to expect. The thing that bothers me is that I get enough rest, but I still feel like I haven't slept and I look exhausted all the time. And I can't just be lazy on the couch all day or else i'll stay blah and i'll get fat All the blahness is whats making me feel so crappy most of all. I will mention it to the nurse at the hospital today and see what she says. Maybe I could see someone there...
I'll let u all know how it goes and if anyone else has or is dealing with this please message me or something i'd really appreciate it

 

[beanie]

You are doing the right thing speaking to someone, this is the biggest step and after that it does get easier. Massive hugs,let us know how you get on

 

[Tam]

Hi hun

I agree with Beanie, it could also just be everything catching up with you, you have had a lot to cope with recently a saint would struggle! As has already been said, you are taking the biggest steps babe, and I really hope you get advice and help very soon so you can start to enjoy life again!

Good Luck babe & keep us posted! x