Peed off to be honest!

[broodybeauty]

Maybe im over-reacting but i feel i really need to get this off my chest,sorry in advance.

Since finding out me and my partner were expecting we have been over the moon,my mum is thrilled and is continously buying little items such as wipes,bibs,bath thermometer,baby scissors she has also bought our moses basket and cot and matress.She has been a star always calling and txting after my scans and popping in to see us with a bag full of goodies that shes found while food shopping.

We have involved my partners mum as much as mine yet we have had no effort or enthusiasm at all.She has offered to buy our bedding set and without being cheeky it is very cheap looking and she has ordered it online so hasnt gone out of her way to go get it.

I was diagnosed with depression a couple of weeks ago which she is aware of and has not once called to see how i am.We call into her house probably about once a week and try to involve her but she doesnt even ask about baby just talks about herself.And to top it off since moving to our new home 8 months ago she has been here once!It really upsets me that she is showing no support and hasnt purchased anything for her grandchild, my partner called her the other day to see how she was,and she asked has sarah had her 12 week scan yet,baring in mind im now 16 weeks!!My partner completely agrees with me but just doesnt have the heart to say anything to her and it is really getting me down.

Am i being a hormonal cow or do i have a point?Anyone else experiencing this from MIL?Sorry its so long and the punctuation is horrendous,couldnt help but rant!xx

 

[Moti]

No, I can understand your frustration. I was in the same situation with my son last year. MIL just didn't seem all that interested, but my mom was super-thrilled. I would have been nice to have support from both sides but eventually just had to accept that it wasn't going to be that way.

MIL doesn't even know that we're expecting again. I'm leaving it up to OH to tell her and he hasn't been in a hurry to.

I wish I had some words of wisdom, but I really don't. Just know how close your baby is going to be with your own mom and that will surely be a special relationship......

Best of luck.....

 

[nikad]

Ahhh well hunny, I am going through something similar. Unfortunately I do not have my mum with me in this world anymore. My MIL shows no excitement whatsoever ( this will be her first grandchild ) and on top of that she refers to he other son´s girlfriend´s daughter ( which is not his ) as her granddaughter, which makes me hate her with a passion.

She posts about this " granddaughter " on her Facebook and how she lost weight to play with her. And to top it off, she befriended my husband´s ex girlfriend on FB ( the one that left him bankrupt ) I am so mad at her that I have decided not to talk to her anymore. Enjoy this time with your mom, nobody will ever resemble what the two of you have together

 

[CeeCee2010]

Lol I'm moaning about my monster in law in another thread! My monster in law couldn't be bothered with me or the baby (even when I had swine flu over christmas she STILL didn't ask how we were) and then when she found our we were having a girl (all boys on DH's side of family) she was ecstatic and now phones my DH daily to find out how the baby is but never once asks about me! I can't stand the woman. I wish there was like a cash-for-gold service for MIL's where you pop them in a bag and then you get money back That would be nice XXX to you you fellow MIL sufferer XXX

 

[broodybeauty]

Thanks ladies,im so so close with my mum after nearly losing her 3 years ago to a stroke, and i get so overwhelmed by thinking about all the things she does for me and how supportive she is and that just makes me so much more angry at my mil.When we wo go to her house she is constantly preaching her amazing 'methods'to me as if she knows it all,and i can only imagine what she will be like when baby is here.

It really does put me off going round there,she is constantly having little jibes like 'well when i was pregnant i was so skinny and i was all bump,i dont think you will be because of your shape your bound to have a big baby and gain all weight on hips and bump'most of the time i bite my lip otherwise i would just cry.But i can really see the situation going sour and i really dont want to ruin things for my oh and his mum but im really struggling to see a solution.

nikad!she befriended your husbands ex,she sounds like she is just trying to cause trouble to me .

 

[broodybeauty]

Lol I'm moaning about my monster in law in another thread! My monster in law couldn't be bothered with me or the baby (even when I had swine flu over christmas she STILL didn't ask how we were) and then when she found our we were having a girl (all boys on DH's side of family) she was ecstatic and now phones my DH daily to find out how the baby is but never once asks about me! I can't stand the woman. I wish there was like a cash-for-gold service for MIL's where you pop them in a bag and then you get money back That would be nice XXX to you you fellow MIL sufferer XXX

HAHA!Cash for MIL's now there is an idea,doubt i'd get much money for mine noone would want her!

I dont know what it is about them,maybe because we took their little boys away from them so we are evil in their eyes.I think they forget we have some say over how much they see their grandchild when they arrive. thanks for the hugs xxxx MIL sufferers stand united ha!

 

[CeeCee2010]

Lol I'm moaning about my monster in law in another thread! My monster in law couldn't be bothered with me or the baby (even when I had swine flu over christmas she STILL didn't ask how we were) and then when she found our we were having a girl (all boys on DH's side of family) she was ecstatic and now phones my DH daily to find out how the baby is but never once asks about me! I can't stand the woman. I wish there was like a cash-for-gold service for MIL's where you pop them in a bag and then you get money back That would be nice XXX to you you fellow MIL sufferer XXX

HAHA!Cash for MIL's now there is an idea,doubt i'd get much money for mine noone would want her!

I dont know what it is about them,maybe because we took their little boys away from them so we are evil in their eyes.I think they forget we have some say over how much they see their grandchild when they arrive. thanks for the hugs xxxx MIL sufferers stand united ha!

P.s. I'm the same with my mam, she is my rock. My mam is disabled and she amazes me all the time in what she refuses to give in to. She's truly an inspiration to me and I love her so so much. I think thats why I dislike my MIL so much because I just see bitterness and coldness in her. XXX hun MIL sufferes united indeed!! XX

 

[nikad]

nikad!she befriended your husbands ex,she sounds like she is just trying to cause trouble to me .

LOL she can p--s off I do not care tbh. And on a more serious note, your baby, your mother and you is all that matters, the rest can come and go

 

[broodybeauty]

This is very very true!i think you should join mil sufferers united too!x

 

[Braven05]

I love my OHs mom, she's a wonderful person. In addition to raising my OH, she adopted 4 children, all with special needs. The youngest is now 20 and has severe autism and incontinence and he's 24 hour care...and the second youngest is 21 and is 4 months pregnant and won't be able to take care of her own child because she's got mental health issues...they both live with her, plus she works full time.

I know she has a busy life and she's an amazing woman. But she isn't really involved with her grandchildren. The only time she sees my OH's daughters is if I bring them up to see her (she lives 40 mins away) and on holidays. She doesn't make it to their birthdays because she's caring for her son...and so I pretty much knew how it would go with this pregnancy/baby. I'm hoping she'll show up for the baby shower...but she doesn't call and doesn't visit and I don't know if she'll buy anything for the baby. Her and my OH aren't close so I know that affects things. I'm not mad about it because I knew thats how it was...but its still different because my mom is very involved with her grandchildren.

 

[broodybeauty]

I love my OHs mom, she's a wonderful person. In addition to raising my OH, she adopted 4 children, all with special needs. The youngest is now 20 and has severe autism and incontinence and he's 24 hour care...and the second youngest is 21 and is 4 months pregnant and won't be able to take care of her own child because she's got mental health issues...they both live with her, plus she works full time.

I know she has a busy life and she's an amazing woman. But she isn't really involved with her grandchildren. The only time she sees my OH's daughters is if I bring them up to see her (she lives 40 mins away) and on holidays. She doesn't make it to their birthdays because she's caring for her son...and so I pretty much knew how it would go with this pregnancy/baby. I'm hoping she'll show up for the baby shower...but she doesn't call and doesn't visit and I don't know if she'll buy anything for the baby. Her and my OH aren't close so I know that affects things. I'm not mad about it because I knew thats how it was...but its still different because my mom is very involved with her grandchildren.

It must be difficult for your ohs mom,i think its important to still have contact with family.If im completely honest the buying things isnt an issue its the lack of thought and support my mil offers,a phone call would be nice but that clearly is asking to much of her.

Are you close to your mom?x

 

[nikad]

This is very very true!i think you should join mil sufferers united too!x

indeed

 

[Braven05]

I love my OHs mom, she's a wonderful person. In addition to raising my OH, she adopted 4 children, all with special needs. The youngest is now 20 and has severe autism and incontinence and he's 24 hour care...and the second youngest is 21 and is 4 months pregnant and won't be able to take care of her own child because she's got mental health issues...they both live with her, plus she works full time.

I know she has a busy life and she's an amazing woman. But she isn't really involved with her grandchildren. The only time she sees my OH's daughters is if I bring them up to see her (she lives 40 mins away) and on holidays. She doesn't make it to their birthdays because she's caring for her son...and so I pretty much knew how it would go with this pregnancy/baby. I'm hoping she'll show up for the baby shower...but she doesn't call and doesn't visit and I don't know if she'll buy anything for the baby. Her and my OH aren't close so I know that affects things. I'm not mad about it because I knew thats how it was...but its still different because my mom is very involved with her grandchildren.

It must be difficult for your ohs mom,i think its important to still have contact with family.If im completely honest the buying things isnt an issue its the lack of thought and support my mil offers,a phone call would be nice but that clearly is asking to much of her.

Are you close to your mom?x

Yes, fortunately I am...I talk to her everyday or every other day and see her once a week usually. We're pretty close and I know she'll be there for me and the baby. I just wish OH's mom had more time...but now I guess I get a glimpse of how OH grew up...he was the only biological child and she took on all these children with special needs and didn't have a lot of time for him. Guess thats why they're not so close now...stinks because i know she cares about him and her grandchildren, she's just overwhelmed. And while I'm close with my mom and she's very involved with her grandchildren, she's not the kind of granmother who will take the baby overnight to give us a break or volunteer to watch her a couple days a week so we don't have to put her in childcare because she doesn't want to be "tied down" at her age.