Pensioners or pregnant ladies?

[Gnomer]

I was shopping on Saturday, and after draggin my PGP suffering bum around for 5 hours, I NEEDED to sit down. I was all hot and flustered, feeling very faint and in agony with my back ache.

I found a seat to collapse onto, and JUST as I'd sat down, a couple of old ladies toddled over. One sat on the free seat next to me, and the other began huffing and puffing. In any other circumstance, I'd have hopped up and offered the other woman my seat, but I wasn't feeling at all able to stand. Next thing I know, she's telling the her friend how ignorant today's youth are. How they don't even have to respect to give their seat to a pensioner.

I informed her I am pregnant, and don't feel too clever at the moment because I've been on my feet all day. She's proceeds to inform me that pregnancy is not an illness, and its my own damn fault for being on my feet all day. With this her and her friend stropped off, "Looking for another seat, with more respectful people"

It makes me wonder. Should we pregnant women feel obligated to give up our seat for pensioners? Regardless of our condition and how much we need to sit. Or do we have as much a right? Would you feel obligated to shift for a pensioner?

 

[stouffer]

There's this perception that old people are nicer than the general public but they're just as rude as everyone else.

I wouldn't give up my seat for an old person if I needed it and got there first. I have SPD and can't really do things like sit on the top deck of a bus, so I'll happily take one of the reserved seats on the bus. If I thought I was able to stand and someone needed it more I would give them my seat but not specifically just for being old.

Maybe I sound harsh but being old isn't an illness either!

 

[Pielette]

Personally, I think heavily pregnant women and pensioners have the right to sit down before others on a bus/train, but I wouldn't put one above the other. I think she was pretty rude, if all the seats were filled there are plenty of other people who could have given up theirs.
A couple of weeks ago I was on a bus and sat by the bit where buggies can go, and two old ladies got on and huffed and puffed their way over to me. Pretty much just made me feel guilty till I moved to an empty seat across the aisle. Which I did but then got annoyed at myself afterwards, why did I have to move? Couldn't they have picked the empty seats in the first place? Plus they didn't even ask, just looked at me.
I have a lot of respect for the older generations, but I don't have respect for people who are rude. Some of them seem to think that it's their God-given right to push people around just because they've been on the earth longer. I really hope that when I'm elderly I will have the manners to say 'excuse me, would you mind if I sat down please?' instead of acting like someone is a cow for sitting on a seat. Plus, I would never be rude enough to make a pregnant woman give up her seat. There are plenty of non-pregnant, younger people who can do that, and when I'm not pregnant myself I'll happily do that.

 

[highhopes19]

I was shopping on Saturday, and after draggin my PGP suffering bum around for 5 hours, I NEEDED to sit down. I was all hot and flustered, feeling very faint and in agony with my back ache.

I found a seat to collapse onto, and JUST as I'd sat down, a couple of old ladies toddled over. One sat on the free seat next to me, and the other began huffing and puffing. In any other circumstance, I'd have hopped up and offered the other woman my seat, but I wasn't feeling at all able to stand. Next thing I know, she's telling the her friend how ignorant today's youth are. How they don't even have to respect to give their seat to a pensioner.

I informed her I am pregnant, and don't feel too clever at the moment because I've been on my feet all day. She's proceeds to inform me that pregnancy is not an illness, and its my own damn fault for being on my feet all day. With this her and her friend stropped off, "Looking for another seat, with more respectful people"

It makes me wonder. Should we pregnant women feel obligated to give up our seat for pensioners? Regardless of our condition and how much we need to sit. Or do we have as much a right? Would you feel obligated to shift for a pensioner?

i know not all older people are rude....but seems to be the older people i come into contact with are rude, nasty and have a chip on their shoulder....again i'll say some not all .

pregnancy very well may not be an illness but then again neither is getting old really .


in the last month i have been knocked over twice by older people....once in the chemist there were only 3 seats all of which were taken when 2 became available i went to sit down and they shoved me out the way to sit there and then i came over dizzy and fell into the shelf and they tutted at me .

and then today i was waiting to use the cashpoint and i was next and these old couple came out of no where and went and pushed in front!!!!! what gives them the right!!!!

when im out i notice a lot of pensioners will give me dirty looks if im sitting.... i have scoliosis and one time i was sitting in tears and they still gave me a filthy look .

tbh the way my back is most days a lot of pensioners seem to walk alot quicker and easier than me at the moment .

i ALWAYS used to give up my seat to other people but since being pregnant i have seen people in a new light

xxx

 

[puddycats]

no i would not give up my seat, i find some old people just plain rude, example i was qt the bus stop and there was a elderly couple in front of me, so obviously i waited for them to get on the bus then man did, the lady was movin a lil slow, then a old lady with a walkin stick who could move faster then a kid on a skateboard came walkin in front of me and the lady and stormed on, in which i just went to my bf who i was talking to i sed if i did that id be getting moaned at but becuz its old lady its perfectly fine, even the bus driver was gobsmacked she just pushed in front of the other lady and me.

sorry that turned into a mini rant off my own lol x

 

[grandbleu]

It's a tough one but the signs always put older people/pregnant ladies together so I think it's an equal toss up. I have offered my seat to older people but when I've been feeling good or I know I only have like one or two more stops. That being said...if I was hot and bothered, in pain, had a long trip I wouldn't feel bad at all about keeping my seat. Like another poster said I'm sure there were plenty of non-pregnant, non-old people that could have given up their seats before you.

Keep your seat hon! You deserve it!

 

[lanaloo]

I was on a bus a few weeks ago, had just finished an exam for uni, felt dreadfull, had to wait ages for a bus and when it turned up it was packed. I stood at the front not expecting anybody to move - got bashed into the bars a couple of times, then when the bus emptied I moved and sat down.
Some cheeky old man shouted to two young men that had a few bags "come and sit here with them bags, she can move" !!! I was SO upset!! Makes me think I'm out for myself out there, infact I've planned not to out as much as possible untill she's born now xxx

 

[lynnikins]

I dont move, dammit im 6 1/2 months pregnant chasing 2 toddlers around with bad PGP to boot and most likely carrying shopping as well as managing a loaded pushchair a lil elderly person whos not even carrying stuff but pushing a tiny bit of shopping in one of the little trolly cases can walk an extra dozen steps to the next seat.

 

[Serendipity40]

i am actually starting to feel more sorry for old people.. i struggled round the town the other day,job to walk, breathe, pains down legs & said to DH oh thank goodness i only have a few more weeks to put up with this imagine how it feels to be old & be like this everyday...thats how i feel at mo, like an oap....not that entitles them to be rude thou...but no1 has ever given up a seat to me whole time am pregnant..i usually just plonk myself down on ground if i need a sit down..trouble getting up again..but no1 cares so just get on with it i suppose..whereas if an old person did the same can u imagine the looks & how many people would offer to help...

but at least ours should be relatively short lived..so i do give them some sympathy even if they do tend to be rude ...

 

[Periwinkle]

I would have said something like 'Pregnancy isn't an illness, but Symphisis Pubis Dysfunction is' (just because it sounds more medical than Pelvic Girdle Pain, lol). With the comment about being respectful I would have said something about how they say the youth of today is rude but I've certainly not been brought up to berate pregnant women in the street/supermarket.

 

[tweedy]

i would, i have spd, constant dizziness and run after my 3 year old, but i can manage to leave the house and get things done, i was waiting at the post office the other day huge queue and i was the last one, just as i was getting to the end, a wee woman came in and she looked so lost and confused, trying to get some attention, i had to let her go first and help her, she took ages and it was nearly closing so they only had one teller on, but i helped her get her pennies out and read the address to the girl behind the glass and she was so grateful, she gave my daughter £1 for sweeties and went on her way. in my eyes, i'll be right as reign in a few weeks, and she's got to deal with rude people for the rest of her life, plus it's good to set an example to my daughter.

if she had walsed in and jumped the queue it would have been a different matter x

 

[Maman]

id have said 'no my dear, telling you to fuck off and mind your own business is being disrespectful' then id have smiled and turned round.

I had an old old man push me out of his way so he could get in front of me to get ont he bus the other day!!! i gave him what for.

 

[Darling]

Personally, I think heavily pregnant women and pensioners have the right to sit down before others on a bus/train, but I wouldn't put one above the other. I think she was pretty rude, if all the seats were filled there are plenty of other people who could have given up theirs.
A couple of weeks ago I was on a bus and sat by the bit where buggies can go, and two old ladies got on and huffed and puffed their way over to me. Pretty much just made me feel guilty till I moved to an empty seat across the aisle. Which I did but then got annoyed at myself afterwards, why did I have to move? Couldn't they have picked the empty seats in the first place? Plus they didn't even ask, just looked at me.
I have a lot of respect for the older generations, but I don't have respect for people who are rude. Some of them seem to think that it's their God-given right to push people around just because they've been on the earth longer. I really hope that when I'm elderly I will have the manners to say 'excuse me, would you mind if I sat down please?' instead of acting like someone is a cow for sitting on a seat. Plus, I would never be rude enough to make a pregnant woman give up her seat. There are plenty of non-pregnant, younger people who can do that, and when I'm not pregnant myself I'll happily do that.

Well said. You can be ignorant regardless of age. I would always give up my seat for a pensioner but not now that I'm heavily pregnant. I have SPD too and can't walk properly anymore so unlikely to be spotted on a bus anytime soon anyway lol.

I do recall being about 25 weeks and stood up on a bus while all those sitting gawped at my bump. I wanted to scream at them, "Yes you've noticed?!! So get up and let me sit down already!!" lol

 

[hellywelly]

Basically I am not sure of the proper 'etiquette' is or 'protocol' but if the tubes and trains are anything to go by they have selected seats for pregnant / disabled / elderly.

I am not sure who takes preference but the fact that you needed to sit down I would have stayed seated until I felt better. The fact that she spoke to you in such a way would have made me even more determined to stay put. Normally the nicer people in this country (very few of them left) would have said to you - 'no don't worry its fine' and would have most probably even felt guilty about insinuating that you had to give up your self. x

 

[Darling]

To be honest I don't think a pensioner should expect a heavily pregnant woman to stand. Its a bit different if you're not very far along but someone else should have the decency to offer.. in my humble opinion! Lol

 

[Wannababyx]

I think its shocking but to be honest im not surprised I find the older generation quite rude, I dont know how many times ive held a door open for a pensioner and they just walk through without saying thank you!!!
I know I might sound like a moan for being annoyed at this but I always say thanks when someone holds a door open for me, and also the other day I was waiting to be served in a bakery and 2 old ladies came in and the assistant asked whos 1st and they gave their order without even looking twice at me prob just hormones but i felt like crying xx

 

[Ju_bubbs]

GRR some old people really annoy me!!! Especially ones like that who go on about 'the youth of today', sadly MOST old people that I come across are worse than the noisy, thoughtless teenagers that run wild around the streets until 2am!

Yes by all means if a young, fit, healthy person is sitting down just for the sake of it, and an elderly person comes along - get up. But there are so many reasons why 'the youth of today' could need that seat just as much as an old person! Pregnancy, spd, faintness etc, all being some of those reasons! I'd not expect an old person to get up for a pregnant lady to sit down, but in the same vein, I wouldn't expect the pregnant lady to get up for an old person either, if they were there first!

The amount of times Ive sat in the middle of the aisle floor in tesco coz I felt faint in unbelieveable!!

 

[BeckyBoo]

I'm partially sighted, riddled with arthritis and pregnant person. They look at me the same, like I can jump up and run around after a chicken.

I was always taught to give up a seat for elderly, disabled or pregnant. Now, sorry, but first come first served. And you were there first!!!

 

[linclea301]

I work for a company that cares for old people, so have to have a say....

I know some can be rude, but sometimes you have to think about what makes them like that. As previous posters have said, life can be real a struggle when you are old and I think about how I feel now, tired and grumpy sometimes, but at least its only a temporary thing. For old people, its just a struggle in which they will often become more and more frail.

Also as for rudeness, try and be patient, as we might all be like that one day! Many of them suffer from depression on top of their physical symptoms, plus they may have other diseases that can affect the way they think and behave. And like other sections of society some are just down right rude!!

My own experience is that if nothing else, if you show old people a bit of respect and kindness, they will pay you back with the same. Since I have been pregnant, I have been shown so much kindness and courtesy, it is really heartwarming. They are also a great source of advice regarding babies and pregnancy!

I just find it so sad that old people are stigmatised in this way, as we will be like it one day. I will get off my soap box now

 

[PinkGlitter87]

I also find old people very rude (the majority anyway!), i was on the bus a few weeks ago and there were 3 of them sat at the front of the bus where push chairs should go (there are elderly/disabled seats behind this section) and because they have those stupid trolley things on wheels they think they have the god given right to sit there, when the bus stopped further up the hill there was a woman with a push chair (what the seats are made for in the first place!!) who had to wait for the next bus because these women wouldnt move... i just find them so rude and i dont think that there is any excuse for bad manners and just plain rudeness! x x x