People don't understand!!!

[mrsc83]

Hi ladies. I had my 2nd miscarriage in 4 months at 10weeks. That was 7 weeks ago. People including my mother seem to think I'm not coping because I don't want to be around friends new babies or listen to anyone talk about their pregnancy or new babies. Am I being unreasonable to ask for a bit of time? We're not even trying again yet! X

 

[hayley x]

Of course youre not being unreasonable... you have to 'deal' with your loss your own way and in your own time... I'm so sorry to hear of your loss xxx

 

[mrsc83]

Thank you so much. I'm doing my best. Saw work collegue today with new baby and said congratulations and oh she's lovely. I was proud of myself for managing. Was talkin to my mum tonite tho and told her I was annoyed that the came n sat next to me n started talkin about her pregnancy with no complications! Mum was like oh I think u have to speak to someone cos u have a real attitude problem just now!! Bloody hell! She just doesn't get it!

 

[aviolet]

it's totally normal.... it takes months sometimes to get back in the swing of the world, you're mourning, you need to grieve for what you've lost. so sorry

 

[misscs]

Sorry for your loss x

Your are not being unreasonable or anything in the slightest! I had a missed MC and found out a week and half ago, had EPRC last week at 10 1/2 weeks. I feel the same - everything around me now seems to be about pregnancies, babies etc and I feel awful. The day I had my EPRC someone at work announced they are pregnant - I havent even managed to say congratulations yet so well done you for managing that! I am happy for her but feel very jealous and feel it will just get harder as her bump grows Everyone seems to expect me to be fine as now no longer pregnant and had EPRC etc but that doesnt heal the heart ache for my baby. We all need time to deal with our losses and don't let anyone tell you otherwise xxxx

 

[bluesky]

Sending you loads of

Your not alone in your feelings, I am avoiding preg friends and newborns. Its been nearly 5 months since mmc and not ttc yet as had a few complications. Its so hard, I completely understand how you feel.

Take as long as you need. You have to look after yourself. Only u will know when u feel ready.

Take Care x

 

[mummy2anangel]

aw im sorry for your losses i had a mc in march and still now i will have days when i dont want to talk to anyone or see anybody whether they have babies or not, my friend recently found out shes expecting twins and i havent been round to see her since, i get this intense feeling of jealousy even though i know deep down that i should be happy for her, it takes time and people deal with things differently. thinkin of you cos i know exactyly how you are feeling xx

 

[Groovychick]

You are not being unreasonable in any way. It takes people different lengths of time to overcome their losses and everyone is individual. You take as long as you need before you are ready and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

 

[tj1980]

You're not being unreasonable at all. All i see at the mo is pregnant women everywhere or people annoucing they are pregnant, and whilst I am happy for them all I want to do is scream!!! I just hope that time is a great healer x

 

[hippylittlej]

Nope not at all. I am avoiding all my friends who have just had babies or are pregnant at the moment as it makes me sad.

 

[SugarFairy]

Big
Everywhere I look at the moment there are pregnant women. I walk through town on my lunchbreak from work and there's lovely big bellies everywhere and I so wish it was me. You're not being at all unreasonable. A lot of people just don't understand how you're feeling, when they really need to allow you time to grieve. Take as long as you need x

 

[downwardsun]

It takes a while! I'm sorry your family is not being more understanding. I've started giving pregnant women dirty looks... like it's their fault?!

 

[LOULOU8888]

i know how you feel i had my second miscarriage 2 weeks ago, went for my 12 week scan to to find out baby heart had stopped at 9 weeks. My best friend turns 30 next week and shes 24 weeks pregnant, another firend called last night to tell me im invited to a birthday meal to celebrate next week and then started talking about the birthday girls pregnancy and then said how lovely it will be for all of us to catch up and talk baby talk. The thing is none of my friends knew i was pregnant as i wanted to wait until 14 weeks before telling anyone, so next week is going to be really really difficult sitting there looking at her huge bump and pretending to be happy to talk baby talk

 

[babysimpson]

People who haven't experienced it first hand will never know the pain and suffering caused. Take all the time you need to let your body heal. Emotionally, you will always have days that makes you wonder why but you will eventually be able to cope with it. I think you've been really strong being able to congratulate someone on their birth. It's not easy to do but I think it shows that you are coping really well considering. Big hugs xx

 

[bklove]

It is hard to experience someones joy when u r hurting over the same thing. I remember the same time my best friend found out she was pregnant that day i found out i had miscarried. it was very difficult to be happy, but i did for her and kept my grief private except for on bnb. Eventually it got slightly easier but it took a real effort to swallow my own feelings, which sucked but I didnt want to take away from her. but anway, u take ur time and allow time to heal those wounds, talking it out with ppl who do understand will help u get through all those uggh moments

 

[animalcracker]

Thank you so much. I'm doing my best. Saw work collegue today with new baby and said congratulations and oh she's lovely. I was proud of myself for managing. Was talkin to my mum tonite tho and told her I was annoyed that the came n sat next to me n started talkin about her pregnancy with no complications! Mum was like oh I think u have to speak to someone cos u have a real attitude problem just now!! Bloody hell! She just doesn't get it!

This is why I moved 3,000 miles away from my mother! LOL I am originally from London, England and moved to New York in 1996. I just can't talk to my mother about anything! She makes me nuts

I am so sorry for your losses My heart goes out to you. I just found out on Tuesday about my loss and have a D&C scheduled for tomorrow. It's still all new to me, but I know I will be fine but I will never forget about the baby I lost. He or she will always be in my heart.

People who have not gone through this don't understand. You are right. Before my loss this week, although I was heartbroken to hear about people's losses, I didn't understand. Now I get it. It rips you apart.

You're in my thoughts.

 

[Starry Night]

People who have not gone through this don't understand. You are right. Before my loss this week, although I was heartbroken to hear about people's losses, I didn't understand. Now I get it. It rips you apart./QUOTE]

I confess I underestimated the impact of miscarriages as well. I was already terrified of them and thought I wouldn't survive one yet I still somehow minimized another person's loss in my mind....perhaps it was how I coped with bad news or just didn't "get" how much a baby becomes a part of you. Now that I've gone through it I realize that, while survivable, it's a gut-wrenching loss and my heart breaks for all the women i know who've gone through one (or more).

But on topic, don't feel bad for taking time! I don't think it's healthy to feed any bitter feelings but you don't want to torture yourself either. I'm OK with newborns if it's a baby I have a reason to be attached to--such as my niece (adore her!) or my good friend's baby. I love those babies and would do anything for them. Being with them actually makes me happy. But other babies.....it still gets to me three months out.

 

[buster]

Hi ladies. I had my 2nd miscarriage in 4 months at 10weeks. That was 7 weeks ago. People including my mother seem to think I'm not coping because I don't want to be around friends new babies or listen to anyone talk about their pregnancy or new babies. Am I being unreasonable to ask for a bit of time? We're not even trying again yet! X

no way are u being unreasoable i had a missed misscarriage 3 weeks ago i found out at my 12 week scan im heartbroken but nw 3 weeks on people are like oh well it was meant 2 b and all that rubbish and think i should just b over it by nw it just does nt happen like that,i still wonder when will i ever feel better,and i dont know about u but everywhere i go there r pregnant women its like its being rubbed in ur face sorry 4 ur loss hun xxxxx