RattieMattie
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- May 3, 2014
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Here is a short long story.
I'm a 33 year old rolling up to 34 this month, and me and my husband of almost two years are deep into trying for a baby. He's 42, we are both overweight and working on getting healthier. Since I've gone off the birth control (early September) I've been watching friends get pregnant at the drop of a hat. Not trying, taking birth control, you name it. So I admit to being a little over-expectant in the early months of this journey. It was extremely depressing to see AF come every month, even the months I was SO SURE I had to be pregnant.
Part of my surety came from the fact that going off birth control caused me to have the wildest periods of my life. They were getting super heavy and weird before I went on the BC (and for me BC was the most awesome thing ever. EVER. Exact timing? Rock on! What, you mean my cramps are lighter, and I don't bleed like my vagina is the halls of the Overlook Hotel? SIGN ME UP FOREVER.) Suddenly every month I had stranger symptoms, things I'd never seen more. I started coming up with nicknames. Oh honey, look, I'm riding the jelly train! I was suddenly full of pain ALL THE TIME. It felt like my ovaries were always being punched, my hip and back were always unhappy, and I felt bloated 24/7. So the 7th month of no baby rolled around and we took off to my gyno, with me all terrified that I had endometriosis, or cancer, or SOMETHING. I mean, we weren't getting pregnant, and I hurt ALL THE TIME.
My gyno was all "NOPE" on the endometriosis. She told me that really the only thing that was going to help with my periods was birth control, which doesn't help when you are trying to conceive. I was SOL. But I was also describing to her my pain during sex (which to be honest, I've always had, though it did lessen while taking the birth control.) She was mid-exam as I was explaining this, and she said "So you have pain, does it hurt HERE?" And then she jabbed me in the side of the vagina and I screamed like the sky was falling. Yes. Yes, it hurt right there. Pardon me while I limp off the exam table and cry for a while. She just kind of nodded and told me she was sending me to physical therapy for my pelvic floor.
Physical therapy for my what? What are they gonna make me do, Kegels?
The PT office they sent me to is SUPER busy, so just getting the evaluation exam took a month, so I spent a month making that joke. Turns out I'm not even ALLOWED to do Kegels yet. The reason I'm in such pain all the time is because I'm so tight and twisted up in my pelvis that my vagina is half as long as it's supposed to be. It's a bit of vaginismus, which explains why sometimes we aren't even capable of intercourse. It gets worse when you are stressed, and I've be rather stressed lately. So now I've got physical therapy to loosen all those muscles. We've got to loosen them and keep them loose before we can work on strengthening them properly. So now my days consist of breathing exercises, and pelvic bulging exercises (where my husband rests a finger on my perineum and I work on bearing down correctly. Apparently I have been going to the bathroom wrong all my life, as well, which is part of the whole problem.) I also have core muscle training where I engage my deep core muscles and then move my arms and legs around in very slow patterns. This is the area that people feel when they feel the "tugging" at the belly button when the uterus is stretching for the baby. But now I feel that all the time, because I'm constantly having to use those muscles. And then I have the stretching and trigger point exercises every other day, which leave me laying there with an ice pack between my legs when we are done. Nothing like 20 minutes of someone pulling your insides every which way, and then finding every spot that hurts and PRESSING until it stops hurting so much. It's awful, but we are doing it. I'm thinking more than just no pain in my sex life. I'm also thinking that if I can't teach my pelvic floor muscles to loosen for once, trying to get a baby through all that is going to result in some awful tearing. *shudders*
We are still trying for a kid in the midst of this, which means that I've spent the last week scheduling sex in between PT. And since I've become very aware of every trigger point in me, now I'm SUPER AWARE of them when we are, well....
Needless to say I'm really tired. We are about to head off to the beach for a week, for my brother's wedding. I'm packing a pack of pads and a pack of pregnancy tests. Here's hoping. It'd be awfully nice to be able to find out I'm pregnant with all my family there. While I can't really trust most early pregnancy symptoms during this TWW because all the weird aches and pains are already there, I have started to have some serious boob tenderness.
Anybody else got any weird physical therapy/pregnancy tales? Or just want to wax TMI for a bit? I can't be the only one wondering if I shouldn't let the ice pack get close to my uterus....
I'm a 33 year old rolling up to 34 this month, and me and my husband of almost two years are deep into trying for a baby. He's 42, we are both overweight and working on getting healthier. Since I've gone off the birth control (early September) I've been watching friends get pregnant at the drop of a hat. Not trying, taking birth control, you name it. So I admit to being a little over-expectant in the early months of this journey. It was extremely depressing to see AF come every month, even the months I was SO SURE I had to be pregnant.
Part of my surety came from the fact that going off birth control caused me to have the wildest periods of my life. They were getting super heavy and weird before I went on the BC (and for me BC was the most awesome thing ever. EVER. Exact timing? Rock on! What, you mean my cramps are lighter, and I don't bleed like my vagina is the halls of the Overlook Hotel? SIGN ME UP FOREVER.) Suddenly every month I had stranger symptoms, things I'd never seen more. I started coming up with nicknames. Oh honey, look, I'm riding the jelly train! I was suddenly full of pain ALL THE TIME. It felt like my ovaries were always being punched, my hip and back were always unhappy, and I felt bloated 24/7. So the 7th month of no baby rolled around and we took off to my gyno, with me all terrified that I had endometriosis, or cancer, or SOMETHING. I mean, we weren't getting pregnant, and I hurt ALL THE TIME.
My gyno was all "NOPE" on the endometriosis. She told me that really the only thing that was going to help with my periods was birth control, which doesn't help when you are trying to conceive. I was SOL. But I was also describing to her my pain during sex (which to be honest, I've always had, though it did lessen while taking the birth control.) She was mid-exam as I was explaining this, and she said "So you have pain, does it hurt HERE?" And then she jabbed me in the side of the vagina and I screamed like the sky was falling. Yes. Yes, it hurt right there. Pardon me while I limp off the exam table and cry for a while. She just kind of nodded and told me she was sending me to physical therapy for my pelvic floor.
Physical therapy for my what? What are they gonna make me do, Kegels?
The PT office they sent me to is SUPER busy, so just getting the evaluation exam took a month, so I spent a month making that joke. Turns out I'm not even ALLOWED to do Kegels yet. The reason I'm in such pain all the time is because I'm so tight and twisted up in my pelvis that my vagina is half as long as it's supposed to be. It's a bit of vaginismus, which explains why sometimes we aren't even capable of intercourse. It gets worse when you are stressed, and I've be rather stressed lately. So now I've got physical therapy to loosen all those muscles. We've got to loosen them and keep them loose before we can work on strengthening them properly. So now my days consist of breathing exercises, and pelvic bulging exercises (where my husband rests a finger on my perineum and I work on bearing down correctly. Apparently I have been going to the bathroom wrong all my life, as well, which is part of the whole problem.) I also have core muscle training where I engage my deep core muscles and then move my arms and legs around in very slow patterns. This is the area that people feel when they feel the "tugging" at the belly button when the uterus is stretching for the baby. But now I feel that all the time, because I'm constantly having to use those muscles. And then I have the stretching and trigger point exercises every other day, which leave me laying there with an ice pack between my legs when we are done. Nothing like 20 minutes of someone pulling your insides every which way, and then finding every spot that hurts and PRESSING until it stops hurting so much. It's awful, but we are doing it. I'm thinking more than just no pain in my sex life. I'm also thinking that if I can't teach my pelvic floor muscles to loosen for once, trying to get a baby through all that is going to result in some awful tearing. *shudders*
We are still trying for a kid in the midst of this, which means that I've spent the last week scheduling sex in between PT. And since I've become very aware of every trigger point in me, now I'm SUPER AWARE of them when we are, well....
Needless to say I'm really tired. We are about to head off to the beach for a week, for my brother's wedding. I'm packing a pack of pads and a pack of pregnancy tests. Here's hoping. It'd be awfully nice to be able to find out I'm pregnant with all my family there. While I can't really trust most early pregnancy symptoms during this TWW because all the weird aches and pains are already there, I have started to have some serious boob tenderness.
Anybody else got any weird physical therapy/pregnancy tales? Or just want to wax TMI for a bit? I can't be the only one wondering if I shouldn't let the ice pack get close to my uterus....
