Picky Eater that now is refusing to eat... Help..

[purechaos109]

This is my first time posting in this section of the forum! So Hello!

I am at the end of my ropes! I don't know what to do anymore! I have a 4 yr old son who just flat out refuses to eat anything but his breakfast of pancakes! He has always been a picky eater but before I could always get him to eat PB&J or Grilled Cheese or something else that wasn't horrible for him! Now I'm completely stuck! All he wants to eat is Dinty Moore Beef Stew (which is still rare to get him to eat) and garlic bread (which he only gets when we make certain meals)! He has always disliked most foods but before it was easier because he had a favorite I could fall back on as a last resort!

My son is 41 inches and only weighs 37 lbs! He is not big by any means and I am worried that he will start to loose the weight we have worked for a year to get on him (he only gained 1 lb in a year)! The drs say he is healthy for his height but this new thing is getting scary! Last night I put Chicken alfrado (his use to be favorite dinner) in front of him and tried to get him to eat so when he wouldn't i picked up the fork to get him to take 1 bite to taste it and he gagged himself until he puked!

I don't know what to do he hates tomatoes and anything having to do with them which narrows out a lot of meals!

PLEASE HELP!!! Even if its just with recipe ideas (simple please I don't like to spend more than 15 min cooking for him if he is not going to eat it)! Thank you!!!!

 

[shocker]

I didnt want to read and run you sound distressed! I was listening to a child nutritionist on the radio only a few days ago and there was parents ringing in saying their child only ate certain foods and were very restrictive and picky and they were worried.The first thing he said to them is - if your doctor says theyre healthy then stay calm. In his show he said that so long as children are healthy then time will sort out their food fussiness, i dunno really but hes got more experiance than me! Have you tried taking him to the supermarket to get him to pick out his own meals? or involving him in the preparation of food, another big thing for young children is sitting at the table at dinner time like everyone else.Making a big fuss of them eating more makes it more stressful for them apparently and the thing to do is just eat yours as normal and pay no attention to whether or not they eat theirs until you are finished and then if they wont eat it then say would you like something else? Oh and taking multivitamins aswell!! i cant remember anything else sorry but hope you can find some solution, some kids are just really picky, i knew a girl in school who only ate blue foods until she was 6 shes always been healthy as an ox tho!

 

[pa2k84]

Saw something similar on a tv programme the other night. Advice given on there was to be consistent make and give meals same as rest of family, if possible all it together and talk about anything and everything apart from food whilst eating. If at end of meal not eaten then take away and offer nothing else.

Did seem to work for this family by not sitting saying eat and try etc. the whole meal time and just ignoring the whole subject of food the child did start to eat.

I cannot comment as currently do not have a child so do not know how hard it can be to see your child hungry but have been told by a friend of mine that no child yet as starved themselves! May go a few days of being hungry but will hopefully (once realises you are not going to give in) start to eat.

Like i said not tried myself so someone may come along with better tried and tested

 

[divadexie]

Have you tried getting him to choose what he want for tea, and getting him really involved in cooking it?

My son went through a phase of not wanting what he was given, but I refused to give him something else. I just said calmly 'ok, go and get your jammies on then' (it was always at tea) and he just kinda looked at me in shock, to which I replied 'you either eat what your given, or you dont eat.' it did work but he still tries it on.

He loves helping me pick out the ingredients for dinner in tesco, and helping me prepare tea. His fave is whatever has pepper in as he loves raw pepper.


I have also seen this on supernanny when the wee boy threw his dinner away and refused to eat it, the mum had always gave him something else. Then supernanny said don't do that and make a fuss of how well the brother was doing. Then to give loads of praise if he ate any of it. Within no time the child was eating whatever the family was (ok so the mum was a bit stupid and went back to feeding him what she was eating) but the principle did work.

 

[purechaos109]

Thank you guys for the advice! The main issue with my son is that he has food alergies so it makes it hard sometimes for him to eat what we eat! He absolutely hates tomatoes I can't tell if it is an allergy or a dislike but I will say when I make him eat it he wakes up screaming because of tummy aches! So IDK!

But on the bright side I figured out a way for him to eat! YAY! This might sound really stupid but I went back to the basics! lol! I went to the baby isle in my store and got the Gerber Graduate Microwave meals that are for toddlers and I got him a spoon fork and knife set and I brought them all home in 1 bag and made a huge deal about it was his food and we cleared a shelf in the cupboard where he can reach it and pick out his own meal! He has eaten every meal since! I'm so stoked! I'm just going to ride this until his next faze! lol! But for now he is eating healthy again! YAY!

 

[Minstermind]

Glad to hear you got something sorted for now!

On the general subject of fussy young eaters, I can definitely attest to worrying and making a big deal out of it being akin to shooting yourself in the foot, LOL..I learned the hard way with my son as I, like many mothers, was concerned my already slim boy was eating enough, and eating enough healthy food too.

But it really got to the point, like DivaDexie said, that he had to learn to eat what he was given and that was that. The reality is, ''back in the old days'' (LOL), that's just simply the way it was, and if you didn't eat what your mother put in front of you, then you didn't eat. As pointed out, no child has ever starved as they end up being so hungry they will at the next meal or so, sit down and eat what they're given, and be glad they have food to eat! I think it's a good lesson for them to learn and also to eat with the family, and to eat what the family eats.

It's a tough lesson at the moment it's happening, for mom and child both, but I really believe in sticking to one's guns with it and getting through a rough patch or two to sort it out. Obviously as your son has allergies, you'd want to, as you usually would, take that into consideration with your meal choices. But aside from that complication, I would cook the same meals for everyone in the family and wouldn't be cooking something else just to suit his tastes. I do realize he doesn't like tomatoes though, and my own son doesn't dig onions or peppers and whatnot, and I think there's an element of that which is natural for any child (well, even adults have preferences, don't they?) but I wouldn't make separate meals as a result. If we have spaghetti and it has onions in it, my son picks through the onions as best as he can and eats the rest. It works out fine in the end. Other days he gets meals he loves, and in the end, that's just how it is with everyone! Some days we like our meals better than others!

 

[purechaos109]

My biggest issue with my DS eating is that I myself do not cook very much or very well! So what I do know how to cook has a lot of tomato products in it! For the moment he has done really well with the gerber graduates! It is really nice to have them back because sometimes I just don't cook unless it is for my son so this makes life a lot easier! I myself am a very picky eater which makes it even harder!

I think I am going to ride the gerber train until he is out of this faze! lol! Thanks for all your guys help!

 

[divadexie]

Why not see if there are any cooking classes in you area?
And learn to cook some dishes that he can eat with you?
Then he can still pick what he wants, and can help you with it.
After a while you could say right x or y for tea and narrow the choices down.

 

[DizzyMoo]

The one thing i disagree with is when a child says they dont like something or want something that to remove it & make them something else. Unless this is like the 15th time of them refusing a certain food. I always try them again with it.
I make tea & it is eaten, None of this i dont want it or dont like it. I dont give josh the option to choose. Ok yes sometimes i say what would you like for tea & i'll let him look in the freezer, cupboards & fridge & tell me what he wants.
But majority of the time i just make him something & he doesn't moan & say i dont want it etc he just eats it as he knows no different.
I'm very picky with foods & swore blind my children wouldn't be, I let josh taste anything he wants to taste & tell him its ok for us to like different things but that most of the time our tea would be the same meal, Not 1 thing for 1 & 1 for another, He needs to see me eating the same things.
I do know now he does not like mushrooms but this is only because i kept giving them to him every now & again, Ive done this with other foods & he eats those fine now.

I guess i'm lucky really josh is such a good eater & choose meat/veg & fruit over crap & sweets every time, but is it luck or the fact ive just not let him tell me how its going to happen at meal times?

I also love cooking & dont mind standing around for half hour or longer to make him a decent healthy meal as i know he will eat it.
I never EVER give him frozen ready meals, we do pick foods together when we go shopping like spaghetti or tinned soups or frozen chicken & the likes. So thats part of the fun for us

 

[divadexie]

I agree! My son will occasionally say he doesn't like something when I know fine well he does! So I just say - tough, thats your tea I'm not making anything else.

He had a step sister (his dad and the girl split up tho) and she was The most fussy eater ever. If she decided she didnt want weetabix one morning, it got thrown out and something else made. Same with her tea, things she liked and refused to eat she just got something else so I had to say to my sons dad if he wanted to see him it would have to be at the grans because I wasn't having him learn that was acceptable.

I let him choose what he wants for breakfast (cereal- we have about 5!) and lunch (sarnies) but mostly the tea choice is down to me.. though I will get him to choose something its usualy mac and cheese which OH hates Lol.
But when he was going through a bit of a fussy stage I got him to choose and help with it.