Please help-I want to stop BF my 13month old

[Mum22GTTC]

Please, please can someone help me. I really cannot take anymore.

My LO is 13 months old, won't drink from a bottle or cup & has ZERO independence, I mean zero, he is like a giant newborn that can walk (but perfers to cling to my legs screaming). He cries all day long until I pick him up, other than myself only DH can pick him up, but DH cannot get him to sleep.

He will not go to sleep without my boob in his mouth, he wakes at least every hour & I have to maneuver him around the bed to keep swapping sides (we co-sleep & my boobs are becoming increasingly sore), then he bites me before he actually starts feeding. His sleep is appauling, he thrashes around when he does actually sleep, meaning that I cannot sleep even when he does.

This isn't a phase, this is just him, I really want to - NEED to stop BF, I need a break, I need some sleep. I have tried to remain positive, but I can't anymore I can feel I'm starting to resent him. I want to stop co-sleeping, but he just will not sleep without boob. I want him to have some independence and not have to be attached to me all day long. Please do not get me wrong I am the most baby led mother I know, I do feel that I lean very much towards attachment parenting, but the way my son is, is just too much he needs to be able to interact with other people as well as me!

I've tried to increase he food intake - he's not all that bothered with solids.

I have tried to increase his BF in the day, he just takes as much as I offer & still feeds all through the night.

I have stopped BF in the day, he still refuses to drink anything, he throws his cup and keeps his mouth firmly closed, he'll happily wait until night time to take all he needs.

I'm thinking my only option is to go cold-turkey & just stop feeding him completely, it seems that's the only way I'm ever going to get him to drink from a cup. Then from there I can tackle the sleep issues and his need to cling to me all day. Even writing this was a complete battle, with him clinging to me, pulling my hair & screaming.

Has anyone got any suggestions at all for a desperate Mum?

 

[satine51]

Sorry, didn't want to read and run! I have no advice but offer you hugs

 

[kanga]

Sorry, didn't want to R&R but xxxx

 

[austinsmom]

Honestly, I think cold turkey would be a little harsh. Especially if he won't take any other form of fluids. BFing provides him security (as I'm sure you know).
Although I don't have the answers for most of your issues... I think you should have some healthy boundries with nursing.
Here's an article I found for you:
https://baby.families.com/blog/ask-a-baby-blogger-breastfeeding-and-boundaries

 

[Mum22GTTC]

Honestly, I think cold turkey would be a little harsh. Especially if he won't take any other form of fluids. BFing provides him security (as I'm sure you know).
Although I don't have the answers for most of your issues... I think you should have some healthy boundries with nursing.
Here's an article I found for you:
https://baby.families.com/blog/ask-a-baby-blogger-breastfeeding-and-boundaries

I know that cold turkey would be harsh But I just don't know how to get out of this cycle.

How do I get him to drink from a cup? I have been offering cups & bottles for 7 MONTHS now. I was supposed to have an evening out back in June, that I couldn't go to due to him always refusing to drink.
After 7 months, I feel I've exhusted every other option, he knows he can refuse to drink from a cup because come night time he can drink all he likes from me. If I try to only feed him once a day (when we go to bed for example), he will then spend the rest of the night screaming for more & still not drink from a cup - so I cannot win.

What ever happens we are both going to be upset, but surely by cutting out BF all together he will HAVE to give in a drink from a cup?!

IDK, I feel awful for thinking about it, but I'm fed up of feeling sick from exhustion, snapping at my other children, not being able to concentrate on anything. At 13months he should be able to sleep for more than 1 hour at a time, my gut instinct as his mother is telling me that co-sleeping and allowing him to feed all night is not helping his bad sleeping habbits. Ugh, I'm just so upset by the thought of upsetting him, but at the same time I'm upset all the time from being soo dam tired and feeling like I can't cope.

 

[austinsmom]

Maybe offer him something sweet like juice? or......soda.....

Not ideal, but something to spark his curiousity???

Have you tried a sippy cup? or a straw? Take him shopping for a cup of his own... pick 3 or 4 out, and hold them up... see which one he likes??? Pull different styles/variety. Try ones with handles, etc.

On a side note, I won't give up BF and co-cleeping at the same time. Pick one, then the other.

 

[Mum22GTTC]

Yep, we've got a cupboard full of different types of cups and tried a straw, chocolate milk, juices - you name it we've tried it.

I'm feeling a teeny bit better ATM, cried loads today (PMS not helping the situation ) so feeling like I've got it out of my system & I'm ready to face another night!

You are right & that was my other dilemma, stopping co-sleeping & BF at once is not a good move - but the 2 go hand in hand, it will be even more difficult to do one without the other. Ideally I'd like to continue with both, just feel that my sanity is really begining to suffer due to the lack of sleep & physical space, as I cannot even go to the toilet alone (DH works long hours & I have no help from family etc, plus LO doesn't nap & I have 2 other children!).

I'm going to give it another week then review the situation. Thank you for your suggestions Austinsmom.

 

[babyjiva]

My LO is kind of like this if it makes you feel any better. she wakes all through the night for booby, can't go to sleep without it, i offer her a cup all through the day, i'm lucky if she finishes one sippy cup a day. normally, she drinks half at the most…. she's not getting the nutrients she needs, she eats okay but not great….just a boob girl. i'm also ready to give in, but cold turkey is never necessary. there are endless tricks for weaning and it's a huge stress on the mother, but you have to go through them if you don't let him self wean.