Please help me with my 11 week old son!

[janey1980]

Hi,

New to the forum, and getting desperate!!!!!

My son is 11 weeks old, will be 12 weeks old on Friday, and will not sleep past 3-3:30am.

Our routine is that he has a 2 hour nap around lunchtime, and maybe a morning nap of an hour and 45 mins ish around 4pm. He has 6-7oz formula every 3 hours through the day.

We try to base our day on a 7-7, Up at 7, bathed and and fed and in his cot for 7pm, he will usually then go to sleep in around 10 mins, we dream feed him at 10:30pm (we only started to do this recently, before he went down at 7pm woke at 1am, fed, then wide awake club from 3am, so we thought he was hungry, so a few nights ago we introduced the 10:30pm feed, then he sleeps till 2-2:30, we feed, and he will go back to sleep for a maximum of one hour, usually around 30-40 mins, and that is it. We keep the night time feeds calm and do not put bright lights on etc.

Last night, he woke at 3:15, and cried and cried, I got up and patted him shh shh etc etc, winded him etc, and he cried on and off until 6am this morning, when I gave in and put him in his bouncer and rocked him to sleep as he and I were exhausted. He will not sleep past this time in his cot, yet he is fine in his cot from 7-2.

It's as if he is saying at 3am right thats it, I want to get up now please, and will just not settle no matter what I do.

Please can anyone help?

Thanks in advance

 

[lyre]

sorry i'm not very experienced but how about putting him down later?

 

[janey1980]

Just to add, the daytime naps are only a recent thing, past few days. Previous to that, he didn't really sleep at all in day and saved it all until 4pm. So I implemented the earlier naps as I think he was getting really overtired.

Am I doing the right thing? What do I do with him when he just will not go to sleep in his cot, my partner works, and for the past 2 nights I have refused to let him out other than to comfort him and then straight back in, trying to teach him that it is bed time, But this means we are both awake because of his crying from 3-6, and its making us both miserable!

 

[becstar]

This is highly personal, but to me he's only 11 weeks, I wouldn't worry so much about being rigid. others will disagree, but if he needs to be rocked back to sleep or fed back to sleep at that age, I'd just do it. He's so young to 'teach' him otherwise.

Have you tried waking him gently an hour before he normally wakes, and letting him go back off? The Baby Whisperer and my NHS booklet recommend this. Apparently doing it for a few nights in a row can break the habit.

 

[lyre]

its probably not helpful but i agree with becstar and personally i cant get lo to sleep without singing, rocking, feeding, walking or cuddling.

 

[x-Rainbow-x]

alex wakes at that time normally because hes cold it may be that with the colder nights ?

 

[cinnamini]

Have you tried waking him gently an hour before he normally wakes, and letting him go back off? The Baby Whisperer and my NHS booklet recommend this. Apparently doing it for a few nights in a row can break the habit.

I did this with my DD and it worked a treat! Even now she sometimes wakes at 3am ish but gets herself back off quite easily now (she is 9 1/2 mnths though )

 

[janey1980]

Hi lyre,

That is what we used to do, he used to sleep downstairs till 8 ish, we would wake him, bath him feed him and put him down around 9:30pm. He would then sleep until 2ish and again after bottle would only sleep for 20 or so minutes, and was wide awake from 3am. So we decided he may as well be in his ot than sleeping same times downstairs.

 

[janey1980]

Not sure how to wake him before, as he wakes up at 2 wanting a feed, so we feed him, its after this that he just won't settle in his cot. We tried feeding at 12 to stop the 2am but it didn't work he still woke at that time.

 

[pheobe]

Every baby is different hunni so I'd recommend trying whatever suggestions you feel comfortable with...I would say though for me personally basing your day on a 7-7 routine at 11 weeks old seems like way too much to expect. I set myself the goal of getting 5 straight hours each night by 8 weeks old, luckily we are getting that now at 4 weeks although the timing is a bit of a mess...he sleeps from 10.30pm - 3.30am then back down after a feed tll 7ish this is a managable amount if sleep for me so I'm chuffed.

Each night we feed & wind at 9pm, bath 9.30 (also with johnsons night time products) dressed & a last couple of ounces to top up at 10pm (only a night light on after 10pm no TV etc) - after 2 weeks he is really comfortable with the 'night time routine' and knows bed time is coming (naps are limited during the day). As he starts to go longer between feeds I'll bring the routine forward by a few mins each night until he eventually is in bed by 7.

I'd recommend starting some sort of night time routine - whatever suits your LO something you only do at night just before bed & set more realistic goals for yourself I reckon 9 hours overnight waking for one feed in between would be great for 11 weeks so I would set the bedtime routine in line with that goal. Only the super duper lucky get 12 hours a night before 12 months!

Hope things improve soon
xxx

 

[Septie]

Perhaps you overestimate the need for your LO to sleep? The sleep from 7pm to 1 am, and then till 3-3:30 (prior to implementation of your dream feed) is very comparable to the nights our LO (just over 3 months) is having now: He goes to bed with us at between midnight or 1 am, and recently awakes at 6 or 6:30 (knock on wood) to feed, then goes down for another hour max. He has never required more than 7 hrs total of nighttime sleep (except perhaps as a newborn, when he was sleeping whenever not eating) - though he does nap off and on throughout the day. He's just not a big sleeper...but at least his long period coincides with ours