Please help - so upset

[ILoveShoes]

I apologise if this is a bit long winded, but I really need some friendly advice...

DS was born last Tue, and was 5 weeks prem. We are still in hospital, but are hoping to be home asap. I have always planned to breastfeed him; something that DH felt strongly about 2.

He was born with tongue tie, which was diagnosed a few days ago. Because of this, he had been unable to feed properly. We fed him ebm from a syringe for the first few days. DS had his tongue tie snipped one day last week (I can't remember what day - they've alll merged in to one). Since then, he has been cup fed ebm and is taking 40-45mls every 3hrs.

I have tried to breastfeed him almost every day since he was born (6 days ago). At first, it just wasn't happening but, retrospectively, we put that down to the tongue tie. A midwife sat with me for almost an hour on Friday and Saturday nights, while I tried to breastfeed him again. He was really struggling to latch on. He kept getting on and then slipping off again. He has taken quite big chunks out of my nipples, and they are really sore. The MW suggested trying nipple shields to help him latch on and then stay latched on.

I got some shields yesterday morning, and he seemed to latch on and thenfeed sttraight away. Ihave fed him about 6 times since then and topped it up with 40-45mls of ebm after he's been on the breast.

The prob is, I don't think he's getting anything through the shields. I think he's using them aas a dummy. I noticed earlier that one of the shields had slipped down, buthe was happily still sucking on it but not getting any milk. He's also taken a few more chunks out of my nips.

I don't know what to do now.

I don't feel like I can persevere anymore. My nipples hurt so bad, and we are both really struggling to do it right. I don't know whether I should switch to formula, even though that's something I really didn't want to do. I've got a really big supply of ebm at home in the freezer. Maybe I could use that too.

Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I can do? I'm scared I'm gonna starve my baby.

Xxx

 

[Tacey]

It sounds like you're really going through it. Is he taking a big enough mouthful? He should have most of the areola in his mouth too. A while back I posted a link to a latch trick that might be handy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=myJOqBE0Td8&feature=player_embedded
and another lady posted a link to these resources: https://lllbroadripple.wordpress.com/2008/10/03/online-resources-for-getting-a-good-latch/

It might be too far gone for it, but if you haven't already, get some Lansinoh and plaster it on as often as you can. I can't recommend it enough. As hard as it is, try to have him at the breast as often as you can, and make sure you keep supportive people around you at this stage. Good luck, I really hope things improve.

 

[ILoveShoes]

Thanks, Tacey.
I can't watch the clip at the mo coz my phone is rubbish - I will watch it though. Thank you.
He is getting his mouth really wide. It looks like my boob is suffocating him. Ha ha. I don't really know what the problem is; we're just really struggling. I feel awful, coz he's trying so hard.
Yep, have got the Lasinoh - I think its really helping.
Thanks again.
Xx

 

[lynnikins]

he might take a while to get it hun caus he was born premmie it is a learnt skill for you and him so i encourage you to stick with it, my nips were really bad at the start i couldnt feed without sheilds, i would sugest expressing a little bit before you try to latch or place the sheild so that the milk flows easier when he does latch and hopefully he will take more from the breast and need less top ups

 

[ILoveShoes]

Thanks ladies.
The specialist midwife has just been in and told me that normally she would give me antibiotics coz they're a real mess. However, I'm already on antibiotics coz my stitches bust and got infected she has told me to stop bf'ing for the time being and to carry on cup feeding him.
I feel like a failure and a rubbish mummy.

 

[PresqueVu]

Please don't feel like that, it sounds like you are doing a brilliant job in difficult circumstances

You clearly love your LO and are wanting the best for him and that makes you a great mum!

Putting some of your espressed milk on your nipples helps as well when they are sore. How is he doing since his birth weight? I think they allow 10% as they all lose a bit at the start.

I know my LO sometimes sucks for comfort rather than food so some of the times he isn't getting milk it may be he doesn't need it. And if you've got EBM then you are still getting the goodness into him whilst you have a chance to heal a bit more.

I hope it improves for you both soon x

 

[MrsMouse]

poor you sweetie

I can empathise with you for different reasons though - my little man has a tight frenulum and has had problems latching on to my left breast since he was born - he's now 11 weeks old and I'm collecting my antibiotics for my 4th round of mastitus today!

My little man is getting much better latching on but still when he's tired sometimes struggles. I am so sore right now - nipple, breast and even down my arm but my little man is already double his birthweight (he's gained an average 1 ounce a day in weight since he was 2 weeks old) so I know my milk is doing him good and therefore I will put up with the pain even though I'd rather go through labour again its that painful!

As for not having got him on the breast - my friend's baby is 5 months - but refused the breast for the first 6 weeks of his life - she expressed fully and cup fed and eventually got him on the breast. Ironically now he won't take a cup or bottle!!

You can do it if you want to - my husband thinks that after 3 rounds of mastitus and now getting my 4th that I should stop feeding Jamie but as I said - if I can get through this 3 times - I'm getting rather well practiced!

If you want to carry on feeding you can do it - I've sat there at 3 am crying and swearing when latching my boy on but in between the rounds of antibiotics breastfeeding is just so much easier than bottle feeding!!

Chin up lass - things will get better. My only advice is - lansinoh cream - smother it on in between every feed if you have to. Pain relief - I've lived on it for a week at a time before now, and get in touch with a lactation consultant - my breastfeeding specilist midwife was useless but the lactation consultant was ACE!!!! (I'm a midwife myself so if I can have prblems anyone can!)

Good luck honey to you and your little one!
xx

 

[Cazzyg]

Have you tried posting this on the premature area? There might be some ladies on there who have been through something similar.

How many weeks was he born at? It can take a bit longer for the correct reflexes to develop for babies to be able to latch on and suck effectively.

One thing you are not, is a rubbish mummy. It sounds like you are doing a great job trying to do the best for your baby,

My daughter was born at 36 weeks and truly, she didn't have a proper breastfeed until she was 6 days old. It sounds like you are doing all the right things by expressing and cup feeding.

A little thing just occured to me, that because I was expressing, I was producing too much milk at the start. i had to express a little milk off by hand before a feed otherwise, my breasts were too full for her to latch on properly.

The Kellymom website also has lots of articles - you could try looking there for some advice?

There's also information on the Bliss website https://www.bliss.org.uk/publicatio...ionTitle=Download+or+order+Bliss+publications

 

[A3my]

My son had a tongue tie and it took a couple of weeks for his feeding to get properly established after it was cut.

Also your LO is 5 weeks prem so you have that going against you too but you are doing all the right things (I used to be a nurse on SCBU and met lots of babies like yours who ended up fully breastfed)

If it doesnt work out you have done the best you can so dont feel bad, you're a wonderful mummy

 

[ILoveShoes]

Thank you for all the lovely comments. They've really helped me out.
We were allowed home yesterday and I've brought a pump home with me to carry on expressing and a breastfeeding support worker is coming to see me tomorrow to come up with a plan of action, and to support me. I spoke to her today. She sounded lovely, so I'm looking forward to that.
X

 

[A3my]

Great news, I'm sure it will work out for you and your baby

 

[trumpetbum]

I don't think i can add anything to the great advice the ladies have given you and the advice that the breastfeeding supporter will give you which will be specific to you, so I'll just say good luck. It sounds like you've persevered through a very tough time and are doing a great job. Don't ever think that you're being a terrible mummy. xx