Please help us through this!

[JaneSharon86]

Tonight we're trying sleep training for the first time. We are doing the Ferner method-ish.

Baby girl goes to bed at 7pm and wakes at 11pm for a breastfeed and then again at 4am. My husband does the 4am feed with a bottle and has noticed that LO takes only an ounce at this time so it seems she's just waking out of habit.

We're hoping to drop this feed over the next week.

I've done a lot of research into the different methods and this one seems to fit, though I'm so anxious about hearing my baby cry tonight and not run straight to her but we need to do something as we're both exhausted.

Going to keep this log... Eeek

 

[seaweed eater]

Stalking. Good luck hon, I hope it goes well and you are all sleeping better very soon

 

[JaneSharon86]

Omg this is breaking my heart

She's really going for it. Have been in and comforted her at 2, 4, 6 minutes and she calms down then as soon as I leave she's straight back to hysterical is this right?

 

[bananaz]

The first night is always the toughest.

Since you've already started this I don't really want to meddle, but I will say that if she's really hysterical and this is too tough for you then you might have your husband stay in with her and try to settle her. Getting her to go back to sleep without the bottle is really the most important first step and once she gets used to going to sleep without eating she may stop that waking on her own.

Hopefully she's already calmed down though!

 

[seaweed eater]

Some babies do that. I'm sorry you are having that experience, mine is the same way and it is so hard. But yes, you are doing great. Just stay consistent. You are giving her an opportunity to learn how to calm herself. Have faith that she will learn.

 

[JaneSharon86]

Well that was hell. But it did work.

Absolute hysterical crying, the worst she's ever done. Comforted her by stroking her head till she calmed then left.

2, 4, 6, 8 and 10 minutes. By the end of the 10 minute interval she was asleep. So 45 minutes in total.

That was tough. Hope were doing the right thing here. That felt awful! It goes against your natural parental urge to comfort your crying baby but we need to teach her how to self soothe, don't we??

 

[seaweed eater]

Well done. The first night is usually the toughest. Go get some rest...I hope both of you sleep well tonight and things get much easier from here come back and let us know how the night went. Are you planning to CC at naps too?

 

[bananaz]

Well that was hell. But it did work.

Absolute hysterical crying, the worst she's ever done. Comforted her by stroking her head till she calmed then left.

2, 4, 6, 8 and 10 minutes. By the end of the 10 minute interval she was asleep. So 45 minutes in total.

That was tough. Hope were doing the right thing here. That felt awful! It goes against your natural parental urge to comfort your crying baby but we need to teach her how to self soothe, don't we??

I'm glad she calmed down. I think 45 minutes is pretty typical for a successful first night. Hopefully it will be much smoother from here on out!

 

[JaneSharon86]

Thanks for the support.

45 mins doesn't seem long but when your world is breaking her little heart in the next room it really is!

Yeh will be consistent and do the method for naps too though am dreading that as my husband won't be there for support.

Has anyone else done this method? Don't want to be the only parents doing this if people know of a better way that works with less tears! For mommy an baba!

 

[seaweed eater]

We did 3 minute intervals with DH going in and PUPD to calm LO. Unfortunately it did not go well for us. But it does work well for most babies. Twister is one BnB mom who had great results with it recently.

I can tell you what has worked better for us recently, but honestly I think you should focus on continuing with this method now that you've started it. I'd certainly recommend our method (something like gradual withdrawal) if you don't have success with CC. But chances are you will have success.

Opinions are mixed regarding whether it's best to do it for naps too. You don't necessarily have to. Naps are regulated differently from nighttime sleep, so it won't be confusing to LO if you don't. Some people (including our own Noelle) think you should do whatever it takes to make sure they are napping well so they don't get overtired and have an even harder time during the night, and then work on naps once nights are going better.

 

[JaneSharon86]

We did 3 minute intervals with DH going in and PUPD to calm LO. Unfortunately it did not go well for us. But it does work well for most babies. Twister is one BnB mom who had great results with it recently.

I can tell you what has worked better for us recently, but honestly I think you should focus on continuing with this method now that you've started it. I'd certainly recommend our method (something like gradual withdrawal) if you don't have success with CC. But chances are you will have success.

Opinions are mixed regarding whether it's best to do it for naps too. You don't necessarily have to. Naps are regulated differently from nighttime sleep, so it won't be confusing to LO if you don't. Some people (including our own Noelle) think you should do whatever it takes to make sure they are napping well so they don't get overtired and have an even harder time during the night, and then work on naps once nights are going better.

Thanks for this advice. We've decided to just do the night time at the moment and then work on the naps later on. X

 

[Kota]

Well that was hell. But it did work.

Absolute hysterical crying, the worst she's ever done. Comforted her by stroking her head till she calmed then left.

2, 4, 6, 8 and 10 minutes. By the end of the 10 minute interval she was asleep. So 45 minutes in total.

That was tough. Hope were doing the right thing here. That felt awful! It goes against your natural parental urge to comfort your crying baby but we need to teach her how to self soothe, don't we??

i know you asked for support, but if youre already questioning yourself then maybe you need to listen to those natural mummy instincts, they are there for a reason. you have a 6 month old that wakes twice a night, thats bloody awesome!!! honestly, there is really nothing wrong with that at all, and so what if she only drinks 1oz, maybe shes just a bit thirsty... do you go all night without having a quick drink?

you're questioning yourself for a reason, maybe sit back and really think if twice a night is a problem for YOUR family, not what the books say, or the health visitor says, or the other mums at mothers group say, but YOU and YOUR baby, if its really a problem, then ok, look to find some solutions, but if its not an issue but you think it *should* be done, then .... mayne nothings wrong at all.

 

[pinklightbulb]

You are doing great. I know it's hard but it pays off. I've had to do it twice now and I don't regret it, because the end justified the means.

 

[bananaz]

i know you asked for support, but if youre already questioning yourself then maybe you need to listen to those natural mummy instincts, they are there for a reason. you have a 6 month old that wakes twice a night, thats bloody awesome!!! honestly, there is really nothing wrong with that at all, and so what if she only drinks 1oz, maybe shes just a bit thirsty... do you go all night without having a quick drink?

you're questioning yourself for a reason, maybe sit back and really think if twice a night is a problem for YOUR family, not what the books say, or the health visitor says, or the other mums at mothers group say, but YOU and YOUR baby, if its really a problem, then ok, look to find some solutions, but if its not an issue but you think it *should* be done, then .... mayne nothings wrong at all.

I agree that two wakings is not terrible at 6 months, however I think you missed this part:

I've done a lot of research into the different methods and this one seems to fit, though I'm so anxious about hearing my baby cry tonight and not run straight to her but we need to do something as we're both exhausted.

Also, I think it's safe to say that we all question the decisions we make for our children, whether it's about sleep training methods or what baby shampoo to use. That doesn't mean they're the wrong choices, that means we're being critical thinkers and that we care about how our actions affect our kids.

 

[Randianne]

i know you asked for support, but if youre already questioning yourself then maybe you need to listen to those natural mummy instincts, they are there for a reason. you have a 6 month old that wakes twice a night, thats bloody awesome!!! honestly, there is really nothing wrong with that at all, and so what if she only drinks 1oz, maybe shes just a bit thirsty... do you go all night without having a quick drink?

you're questioning yourself for a reason, maybe sit back and really think if twice a night is a problem for YOUR family, not what the books say, or the health visitor says, or the other mums at mothers group say, but YOU and YOUR baby, if its really a problem, then ok, look to find some solutions, but if its not an issue but you think it *should* be done, then .... mayne nothings wrong at all.

I really find it unkind that you popped into this thread to berate an exhausted mother who is truly trying to do the best thing for her baby and family. Just because you don't personally find two night wakings to be a problem doesn't mean the OP isn't suffering. You have no idea what her situation is. It's her baby and only she can decide what is right.

OP, You did great. The first night is always the toughest.

 

[JaneSharon86]

Well it's 4am and mommy has honestly not slept one wink!!

I think I was so anxious about the 4am battle coming. Anyways, in going to be in a fab mood tomorrow!

Baby girl has woke right on cue. Have just done the 2 min comfort. Now on the 4 min interval. SHe hasn't got hysterical yet, is just mithering.

 

[JaneSharon86]

Now up to the ten min interval she's still going, not so much crying as moaning and mithering.

 

[Randianne]

You're doing great, mama!

 

[Indigo77]

i know you asked for support, but if youre already questioning yourself then maybe you need to listen to those natural mummy instincts, they are there for a reason. you have a 6 month old that wakes twice a night, thats bloody awesome!!! honestly, there is really nothing wrong with that at all, and so what if she only drinks 1oz, maybe shes just a bit thirsty... do you go all night without having a quick drink?

you're questioning yourself for a reason, maybe sit back and really think if twice a night is a problem for YOUR family, not what the books say, or the health visitor says, or the other mums at mothers group say, but YOU and YOUR baby, if its really a problem, then ok, look to find some solutions, but if its not an issue but you think it *should* be done, then .... mayne nothings wrong at all.

I really find it unkind that you popped into this thread to berate an exhausted mother who is truly trying to do the best thing for her baby and family. Just because you don't personally find two night wakings to be a problem doesn't mean the OP isn't suffering. You have no idea what her situation is. It's her baby and only she can decide what is right.

OP, You did great. The first night is always the toughest.

I find it unkind that you accused her of berating the OP. Harsh, don't you think?


To OP...good luck...

 

[seaweed eater]

You're doing great. With any luck you'll be able to catch up on your own sleep soon!!