Please I need some advice

[Gater4812]

I have been dating my current girlfriend for 5 months. The first 4 1/2 months were amazing she is the greatest woman I have ever known and is everything I have ever wanted in a woman. we're now engaged without a set date. I use to bring her flowers,food, and chocolate and she loved it But since she was about 6 weeks pregnant she has been increasingly standoffish she has stopped responding to texts, she has stopped calling, she has zero desire to hangout, she gets mad if I try to discuss our future. The past few days however have been an absolute nightmare She left Friday to visit her parents for the weekend and we had planned that I would go Sunday night and have dinner with everyone. Friday night she basically freaks out over text telling me she's stressed,frustrated, and she just needs some space. She texted a little friday night but just simple stuff I hope you're having a good day nothing affectionate,loving, or any sign that she still cares. Since Friday she hasn't told me she loves me and normally she always says i love you in the morning and at night but this entire weekend she hasn't said anything even remotely giving me the impression she loves me and it's killing me. She doesn't want to talk on the phone and she texted me about 3 times yesterday sounding like a coworker just saying things like hope you had a good day.. no baby, no i love you, nothing. she told me I was an amazing person but she needs space. I have been slightly clingy lately due to her pushing me away because I love this girl to death and she use to tell me I was perfect and her soulmate now she seems unsure and the other night she said she still thinks I'm I sincerely don't want to lose this girl...Things use to be so perfect. I'm doing my best not to contact her but it's the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. She has told me in the past weeks that her hormones are going crazy but i don't know if this is me or hormones. Can somebody please give me some advice. is it hormones wrecking my soul-mates life? or is she trying to breakup with me but can't find the courage. I'm really really broken hearted without hearing her talk or seeing her and especially her not telling me she loves me. it's killing me. What should I do?? I'm going to not contact her until Wednesday but we work together Wednesday so I have to see her and I don't know how I should act, and Thursday morning is the 8 week ultrasound so I will see her there to and I just don't know what to do. we use to kiss,hug,hold hands now she doesn't even communicate with me at all this is so heartbreaking. Also she says I'm always serious now but that's because I can't joke with her anymore she is so serious around me and everything I say she takes the wrong way

I sincerely appreciate anybody who reads this and gives any advice it would be greatly appreciated and I'm sorry for the long post.

 

[orionfox]

Yes for some women hormones can turn them into crazy people. Give her some time and the hormones will settle. Dont take it all personally. Once pregnancy starts the hormones majorly increase.

 

[Gater4812]

It's just amazing how much she has changed towards me in 2 weeks time. I just hope I haven't been to clingy and pushed her away. Thanks for the advice I appreciate it

 

[jenny873]

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[MyFavSurprise]

It sounds a lot like what I'm putting my fiance through unintentionally. We have also been together for about as long as you both and have happily and comfortably moved quickly. In the first few weeks I pushed him away like crazy, the hormones can be insane..I don't like the way he smells or when he kisses me, and I love him I know I do and I want to be close to him but when I am I get frustrated and angry at stupid things, and he has been great about it as it sounds like you are..I even told him that i felt we were falling apart, but it has purely been the hormomes...things have started to look up in the last week or so, I am 8 weeks 4 days. I am finding it easier to be close to him and wanting to cuddle and im getting less irritated with everything.

Take her reaching out to you in any way as something positive, she may be scared and wondering if what she is feeling is the pregnancy hormones or her true feelings, but she will come around as the hormones settle. Just make sure she knows you're there for her when she is ready.

 

[Gater4812]

I just had no idea hormones could be so powerful. she loves me to death but now it's like I'm some guy she hates at work it's unbelievable how much she has changed. I'm absolutely trying to be there for her but this is so damn difficult

 

[MyFavSurprise]

I can only imagine what it's like from the other side, yeah they are so powerful, sometimes I just cry out of nowhere for no reason. My first 2 pregnancies weren't like this but each one is different. I hope things settle for you both soon

 

[Gater4812]

I feel so terrible that she has to suffer so much. I know it must be absolutely awful if she is questioning her love for me. as for my side this is absolutely unequivocally the most difficult thing I have ever had to deal with. I don't know if I should just end it now because it sincerely seems she doesn't love me or hang in there with this no contact space thing and Pray it comes out better. But sadly I'm deeply madly in love with her so I'm not going anywhere I'm with her until she leaves me I just can't handle not seeing or talking to her it is absolutely breaking me. I'm mentally and emotionally just dying I'm so hopeless right now. It's a very bad thing to feel unloved by the person you love but if there's any chance it's hormones you have to suffer until she gets better. she is 8 weeks in so I pray please Lord let it end very soon I can't take this much longer, I don't know how some men can do this for 3 months I have only had to deal with it for 2-3 weeks so far and it's awful. Thank You for the responses everybody

I'm hanging in there

 

[orionfox]

Normally by about 10-12 weeks pregnant is when the placenta starts taking over and everything starts regulating more. However later on in late pregnancy the hormones can re emerge in full force. It just depends on the person. Its a tough ride but dont give up. She needs you. She may not realise how much this is affecting you.

 

[Gater4812]

I hope she needs me it sure doesn't seem like it, she acts fine around everyone else like nothing at all is going on. I'm just having a breakdown I can't do anything the thought of losing her is killing me I can't sleep,eat, or go 60 seconds without thinking about her. I can't believe she is doing this to me things have been so amazing

 

[RubyRainbows]

First of all i'm sorry you're feeling sad. Relationship problems are very difficult, especially when you are feeling so "in love" and i'm sure with the added joy of expecting a baby together it must be very hard to go from such a high to such a low.

I was only with the father of my son for several months before finding out I was pregnant. I broke up with him when I was 3 months along. Unfortunately, having a baby with someone you just met is simply not an ideal situation. It may seem wonderful in the beginning but you truly can't know someone (and decide they are the person you want to spend the rest of your life with) in such a short period of time. In my case, I realized after about 5 months of dating that he just wasn't the right man for me. And I wasn't going to stay in a relationship I wasn't happy in, just bc I was pregnant. Your girlfriend may be having second thoughts... she may be questioning if you are the right person for her. Or she may be panicking at how quickly things are changing: new bf, baby, engagement, etc. Maybe she just needs time to process everything. Or maybe she simply is just "moody" from pregnancy hormones. But in my opinion it sounds like more than that.

I know it's not easy, but continue giving her space. Being too sappy, clingy, needy will only push her away. You said you can't "sleep, eat, or go 60 seconds without thinking about her." That's not good! Every healthy relationship needs some boundaries. You have to have a life outside of each other. Make yourself do other things to take your mind off her - make plans with your friends, go to the gym, go to a sporting event, go to the park to play a sport.... whatever you're interested in. The more active you are, the busier you are, the more you have going on in your life - the less you will lay around feeling depressed and wallowing in your misery. This will also make you much more desirable and attractive in a woman's eyes. Tell her you love her, tell her to take all the space she needs, attend all her appnts with her, be nice, kind, supportive..... but live your life. Let her see that you are happy and confident and fun (and not so serious all the time). Good luck. Things are going to play out however they are meant to. And you will be fine either way. You have a lot to be excited about - you're going to be a daddy!! Congrats!

 

[Gater4812]

Update:
I absolutely had to know what was going on it was killing me so I got one of her friends at work to talk to her and secretly tell me what was said. It's a number of things mostly hormones. She said she feels worse than she ever has she is stressed,hormonal to an extreme degree, tired constantly,cramping, bloated, nauseous, very emotional, and she works full-time and has a 2 year old so there's just to much on her. So I was told don't contact her at all let her contact me and she told the girl she still loves me She said I'm amazing and she absolutely still loves me I will update in a few weeks when she goes back to normal hahaha.

Thanks everyone for all of the support,advice, and feedback it's sincerely appreciated.

 

[Lucy139]

without trying to be judgemental from an outsiders point of view reading your post makes me think You sound way over the top, I'm really not surprised your GF is asking for space, your relationship has gone from just friends to engaged with a baby on the way in a few months it's a lot of chang your gf must be so stressed without the worry of hurting your feelings and you wanting to know if she loves you every 5 minutes. 😔 sorry if it sounds harsh I really hope you sort things out wishing your gf a very h&h pregnancy 😀

 

[Gater4812]

When you know you know and she was on board with every aspect of it. My parents met Oct 31st and were engaged Jan 13th been together 29 years.

 

[prettybirdy27]

I'd like to echo what a lot of other people said - hormones and sickness. I adore my husband to the ends of the earth and back, but during my first trimester, I couldn't stand to be around him to the point where I would sometimes go sleep on the couch for some space. Every sort of smell he makes (from his breath all the way to his cologne) would set off my nausea. Every terrible joke he made, which I usually don't mind, annoyed me beyond all reason. Even his kisses, which are wonderful, seemed too soppy and wet and I had to stop kissing him because it would make my stomach lurch (sorry hubby!!) but it all wore off after a couple weeks.

She likely has all this stuff going on (I'm not trying to say you smell or anything, but one day my husband had just finished eating a peanut butter sandwich, of all things, and the peanut butter on his breath sent me into dry heaves - it can be literally anything!) coupled with how quickly everything is moving.