Please no Judgement

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by aslee13, Feb 25, 2019.

  1. aslee13

    aslee13 New Member

    Feb 25, 2019
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    I use to be addicted to cocaine. This past week I had a few slipps and I am terrified. I am 23 weeks pregnant. I am also on anti anxiety meds but that was okayed by my doctor. I already feel like a horrible mom and I am beating myself up. I went for my 20 week scan prior to this 3 day slip and everything was perfectly fine. I am not posting this to be called a bad mom. I already feel that way. Please I just need advice.
  2. sammie13s

    sammie13s Well-Known Member

    Nov 12, 2013
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    I think you need to go and get some help. And id personally get the baby checked over. Cocaine use can cause stillbirth. If you had a drug addiction why get pregnant? I'm just hoping that you haven't damaged that poor defenceless baby. It's hard not to be so judgmental after a child dieing in your arms at 9 days old and one of them a stillbirth at 29 weeks. Considering I did everything properly for my child.
  3. Babybump87

    Babybump87 Expecting Baby No3 !

    Sep 6, 2012
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    So sorry for your losses hun . (We lost my niece at 12 days old so totally know were you are coming from) I agree! Go and get the baby checked over and be honest . There’s no point lying and putting your baby’s life at risk here..

    Get yourself help too before it spirals out of control and back into full addiction . Is there anything in particulaur that made you relapse? If you have a key worker or someone or that nature get in contact with them too .

    There’s another human life to consider here if you don’t value yours value that of your unborn child!
  4. Hickory

    Hickory Well-Known Member

    May 17, 2018
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    The thing with addiction is that it makes the addict make choices a non-addict would find atrocious. You already knew you would encounter negativity - don't let it get to you.

    No judgement here, just a compassionate suggestion that you get help. How did you get clean before? I am not familiar with addiction recovery, but I first suggest telling someone asap. Counsellor, addiction line, accountability partner, close friend who does not use, etc. See your doctor and be 100% honest about what you did, ask questions (write them down, if you think you'll get nervous or forget).

    Make getting and staying clean your #1 priority. What's done is done, now you need to focus on making the right decisions. Every action is a choice and you have the opportunity to make good ones.

    Good luck!
    DobbyForever, ClairAye and Perplexed like this.
  5. justonemore31

    justonemore31 Well-Known Member

    Mar 6, 2017
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    Idk what it's like to be addicted to a drug so I won't judge you but I'll tell you that you should tell your doctor. You're pregnant now and if you have slipups which you admitted to having, you're not just hurting yourself but you're also hurting that baby. Try to think of it as "would I give my baby drugs when its born" and I'm sure your answer would be no.

    Don't allow this drug to take over you anymore especially to the point that God forbid you lose that baby. Fight against it by talking to your doctor.
  6. jsquared

    jsquared Well-Known Member

    Nov 4, 2013
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    First off, ignore the posters who think it's their job to lecture you. You obviously know you made a mistake, and you're asking for help. This is what matters.

    Tell your doctor. Get the help you need ASAP. You can do this--you already are. You are worth taking of, just as you're taking care of your child. Please, be well.
    Shanlee16, Perplexed and Hickory like this.
  7. Bella1185

    Bella1185 Well-Known Member

    Mar 7, 2013
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    Women have done much much worse and gone on to have healthy babies. You’re far enough away from your due date that if you stop now your little one won’t even have any withdrawals. I’m sure I’ll get tons of kickback for saying that, but it’s the simple truth. Think of the women exposed to extremely hazardous toxins everyday in the workplace (we don’t all live in first world countries!!!) Babies - especially in utero - are extremely resilient and strong and process toxins much differently than adults do. Of course these “slips” aren’t ideal but would absolutely wager that your baby will be fine.

    That being said - I’ll echo what you already know - you’ve gotta stop now. Youre strong, you’re strong enough to type out what has happened, you are strong enough to have a conscience that sees this addiction is bigger than you and bigger than your baby and it’s got its claws in you good. Much easier said than done but seriously...... talk to your doctor! They’ve heard it ALL!!!!! Do you think you’re the first one to ever have this struggle? No! It doesn’t magically stop when you’re pregnant - not for you and not for most! Seriously, it’ll be okay! :hugs: Take a deep breath and talk to your physician! He or she will give you the resources to take this day by day and also give you the reassurance to get over this! You can’t undo it but you can take it a day at a time and there is nothing I’m MORE sure about than the fact : the stress and worry and torment you’re putting yourself through right now is NOT healthy for you or your baby : make time for yourself to get the help you need and you will be feeling worlds better as each day passes!!!
    #7 Bella1185, Mar 2, 2019
    Last edited: Mar 2, 2019
    Robynxo, Twag and Perplexed like this.
  8. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member

    Aug 19, 2012
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    No judgement. I would definitely go and get checked out though to make sure you and the baby are both OK. I would ask for some help from your doctor :hugs:
  9. Marumi

    Marumi 36, DS 7 and 2

    Jul 22, 2015
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    I second what everyone said, plus get a person of your trust and a good doctor to watch over your addiction and make sure you don't slip again.
    I hope all is well! ♡
  10. Teri7489

    Teri7489 Proud mummy

    Nov 19, 2012
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    It's hard not to think of your baby but bashing you isn't going to help. Personally I'd go see the doctor or midwife and ensure baby is OK. You obviously need some support to ensure you don't go back to drugs whilst pregnant or have a child. Think of both of you and get the help you need.
  11. Shanlee16

    Shanlee16 Well-Known Member

    Dec 23, 2016
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    Hi hon. First I want to say I know what you’re going through. I am a recovering heroin addict and I used when I was pregnant for my daughter for a couple of weeks before getting clean. I’ve been clean almost 2 years now and it was the best thing I’ve ever done.

    The best thing you can do right now is get yourself into see n alcohol and substance abuse counselor and talk with your doctor. They will have resources for you as well as the counselor. Just know that it’s ok you had a set back and from here on out take it one day at a time. And most importantly, don’t beat yourself up.
    justonemore31 likes this.
  12. brittany12

    brittany12 Mommy x’s 2

    Jan 12, 2012
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    No judgment and I cannot personally relate to being addicted to drugs or alcohol, but have watched several family members and friends go through it.

    You’ve accomplished the first step by admitting it to us. You’re feeling the guilt which shows compassion. A couple things I will say. First, you really need to see your doctor, tell them what happened. Let them check the baby. That’s the entire reason you’re feeling the guilt and I’m sure that doesn’t help with your anxiety and I’m sure the anxiety doesn’t help with the addiction. It’s a domino effect. I promise you, you’re doctor has done this before and I’m sure they’ve seen worse and I’m sure they will see this again. They will know the steps to take from there to help you, help your baby.

    The honest concern I have is after the baby is here. I’m not sure if this is your first or not but having a newborn is hard, stressful and all the feelings which can trigger the addiction and at this point more than ever you have to continue being strong for your baby. If you’re getting the help NOW that your doctor can provide, you can totally do this! All of it! You’re so much bigger than this addiction. You’re perfect in your baby’s eyes and your baby needs you! YOU need YOU!

    You have to get long term help so slip ups do not continue to happen because they will and you know that. This topic is truly so sensitive and I hope you get better and get the help for you and your baby.
    Robynxo and justonemore31 like this.
  13. Suggerhoney

    Suggerhoney Pregnant at 39

    Sep 13, 2018
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    Bless you sweety.
    You have already climbed over the first hurdle by admiting what's happened.
    I don't know much about street drug addiction but I've watched a few documentries on it. There was one on about a year ago and it was in America and it was about womon addicted to heroin and they were pregnant.
    U have had relapse and yes ure pregnant but you won't be the first and you won't be the last. Don't beat urself up to much you have been so brave to admit u relapsed and I expect the anxiety didn't help matters at all.
    If u want someone to chat to feel free to privet message me. I'm a Christian and I don't feel it's my place here on this earth to judge anyone but you cud really do with a friend rite now. And I know I'm not a addict. I was to cigarettes but I managed to give them up 11 months ago.
    Anyway I just feel u need someone to talk to and please feel free to message me if u need a listening ear. I will not judge you.

    I agree with what the other ladies said with regards of speaking with someone in the medical industry. Ure doctor wud be the best. Please don't feel embarrassed about talking to a doctor. They are there to help and they deal with this alot so they won't think bad of you.
    But u definitely need to speak to someone and maybe have the baby checked again. I'm sure he or she is fine in there I think the worst time to take anything is a few weeks b4 you actually give birth because they can be born with withdrawal.
    Really hope this helps.
    Robynxo and Shanlee16 like this.

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