Please READ.. I'm having a breakdown :(

[KayeChay]

So this week alone (it's only Thursday too!) I have went to two baby showers and today is my BFF daughters birthday and her party is this Saturday. I went to the store today to buy her daughter a gift and I started crying in the aisle! I had to leave the store. It's starting to get to me..
I work with 3 girls (one just went on maternity leave) that are pregnant! THREE GIRLS! All younger than me too! I know I should be happy for these girls but how can I? When one girl said she couldn't afford condoms or BC so they were using the "pull out method" (you know, since having a baby is WAAAAAY more cheaper. SMH). Another girl still lives with her parents and her boyfriend lives there too (because they can't afford to live on their own) and yes, they WERE planning on having a baby. And the other girl, her boyfriend just left her (which, I feel sorry for her).

I'm sick and tired of going to these baby showers, these birthday parties. I'm tired of being "Aunt Karen" (I'm blessed to be an "Aunt" My friends all call me that for their children btw). I'm so SICK of seeing these irresponsible people having babies!

Some girls REALLY just don't understand the struggles some women have. The pain we have to go through. The sadness. The happiness we have to pull through for our friends. It sucks to see both my best friends have beautiful babies.. twice. With no problems!

It sucks for people to ask "So when are YOU going to have kids?"

And the whole "It'll happen when the time is right" is a total bull.. I really really hate THAT SENTENCE!

Sometimes I feel like I am the only one that's struggling but then a few girls I know were struggling, so I'm like "Well at least I'm not the only one" but then the next week BAM! they are pregnant. So yeah.. maybe I AM the only one.

I'm starting to think I'll never have children of my own.
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I'm going to the doctors on the 20th. the last time I went there I told her that DH and I are TTC. She said that she couldn't do anything until a year. I told her that I won't have my period because I am sooooo irregular. She still said she couldn't do anything and that you can still get pregnant without periods. HMMM it's been exactly 310 days since my last period. I swear if she doesn't do anything I WILL GO OFF ON HER!
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Thank you for reading. God Bless.

 

[anagee]

KayeChay I' sooo sorry your having to go through this. My sis in law just announced she's pregnant like 2 weeks ago and I had a breakdown with dh. I'm happy for her but I feel like they aren't even prepared, neither has a job, they live separate, and he cheats on her every damn time he gets a chance. Its so frustrating! I too had a doc tell me to wait that it would happen and lord behold I had pcos and could ave detected it sooner! UGH! So frustrating.

 

[KayeChay]

One girl I know just had a baby and her and her boyfriend does drugs. They both cheat on each other. People didn't even know she was pregnant until she announced it at 6 months! Everyone suspected she was doing drug because she was SOOO skinny. Like I just don't understand! I would do anything to get pregnant!

Thank you so much Anagee for reading. I don't mean to sound like an angry Jane but I'm just so frustrated with all this, for me and everyone that's struggling.

 

[anagee]

I tell my dh all the time that people out there are not fit parents and they pop kids out like crazy. And here I am married, with a stable job, stable home and Nothing happens. its so unfair.

 

[AJR14]

If that DR doesn't do anything go to another one and tell them you've been trying for that long! Then get some provera and femara/clomid! I understand you, the line I hate is *just relax* it will happen when you stop trying. Hate it!

 

[Abbey08]

Find a new doc and tell them you have been trying for a year. Really what can they say? They dont know your lying! I would.

I am not sure about getting pregnant without having your period. But have you tried things like OPK's? or Pre-Seed? I am on my 3rd cycle trying for our first and this month decided to try both of those. Hoping it helps.

 

[Gwen77]

So sorry you're going through this! It seems so unfair, doesn't it?! And people always take for granted the things that we long for.

Another thing, I HATE when people say to us: "So when are you having kids?" or "...Oh, it's almost time for another one!"

Yes. Yes I KNOW it's time. Don't you think we've been trying?? Stop asking us that question please! You don't know our situation. Maybe we HAVE been trying and are having difficulty. Maybe we JUST lost a baby and we can't ttc again until the Doc gives us the 'go-ahead'.

Some people are so inconsiderate.

 

[Gwen77]

Sorry, I also meant to ask you... Have you tried any herbs or vitamins to bring on your period?

 

[x-ginge-x]

I am so sorry hun and 310 days! My doc flaps if you go 6 months! Find a new doctor! xx I know how you feel about it all, it sucks xx

 

[amariee]

If your doctor isn't willing to do anything I would highly suggest going to a new doctor. That's ridiculous! Over 300 days without a period and a doctor not doing anything about is something I have never heard of. I hope you get some answers soon.

 

[mytimewillcum]

First off find a new doctor!!! (what a complete arse!).. Well my neighbor has just had a baby and I could hear the baby crying when I was out the back garden with my dogs (my fur babies ) ..it upset me so much I sobbed for hours!!!... It hurt so bad!!.. and what's worse they smoke weed till it comes outta there ears it bloody stinks and there in a top floor flat! Poor baby!!! Makes me so mad!...then a few months back a good friend of mine announce's she's now ttc and bang pregnant in 2months!!! (agghh y not me!) with a little boy, she had a baby shower last weekend and I couldn't face it so I didnt go (shit friend I am) but I just couldn't do it and the thought of people asking me "when you gonna have a baby " was unbearable...I am also an "aunt" to all my friends children and as much as I love it, it hurts like hell! to not be a "mum" like them (if only they new)..but no you are not alone in the way you feel an I'm so glad I can come on here to let off steam(otherwise I'd lose the plot) and talk to other ladies who really do understand my troubles regarding "ttc" because people just don't get it just because they are lucky enough to be blessed with a child, doesn't mean I am, some people need to think before the open there mouth ...but I will get there and so will you!
.. .. All the baby dust in the world sent your way x

 

[KayeChay]

Thank you ladies for responding back! I'm feeling a little better. Honestly, I just had to cry it out.

@anagee: Right, It's so unfair. I have a stable job. My Dh is in the Army. We don't drink, drugs, party or anything. We're responsible adults. It really is unfair

@AJR14 : "*just relax* it will happen when you stop trying" I absolutely HATE that one too! That seriously makes me want to punch anyone that says that in the throat lol

Abbey08: If my doc doesn't do anything on the 20th I'm just going to tell her I want a new doc.

Gwen77: Yes, for the past 310 days I have been taking vitex, fish oil, Folic acid and one a day womens. Earlier this year I was taking fertilaid but then switched to the vitex but I am drinking the fertilitea and also green tea super antioxidant. and yup... no periods. I really put all my eggs in one basket for vitex after fertilaid didn't work..

 

[Teri7489]

Really sorry you are going through this! It's so frustrating when comments are made and you just want to scream at the person. I'm currently deciding whether to take a few weeks off work at the minute because of it. I have two girls at my work pregnant who i don't usually see but it just had to be the day i miscarried (2 days ago) that i was in charge of both of them. I then had to do a lot of the manual handling to prevent them having injuries while i chocked back tears of pain.

i would consider a new doctor, yours sounds like a complete tool! It's not fair to be treated like that at all. So hope you get answers and the help you deserve asap! xxxx

 

[KayeChay]

@mytimewillcum: I haven't went back since my last doc visit which was in March or May and that was because she said come back in a year. but NOT having my period for about a year is ridiculous and tired of waiting for nothing. Like I said if she doesn't do anything on the 20th I'm probably going to go nuts on her at the appointment. All these baby showers and birthdays is just a reminder that we're having fertility problems. After my best friends daughters birthday I'm done going to these events. Every time a party or a shower is over, at night I just go to bed crying at night. After I left the store balling my eyes out, I just wanted to throw up! I felt sick.

I really thought I could over come this. And now that my dad has lung cancer I really wanted to give him a grandchild before something happens.. Now that I am moving to Hawaii I just feel like it's all my doctors fault for not listening to me when I had said something earlier!

 

[anagee]

I would call the authorities if I see that a child is being brought up with rugs. That angers me so much!

 

[KayeChay]

Teri7489: I am so sorry! I swear, Some girls just make it look so fricken easy to get pregnant! Growing up, they always told us to use protection and BC pills to not get pregnant, so it just sounded like we can get pregnant so easily. Everywhere I turn Someone is pregnant! I'm really going insane right now!

 

[mytimewillcum]

@mytimewillcum: I haven't went back since my last doc visit which was in March or May and that was because she said come back in a year. but NOT having my period for about a year is ridiculous and tired of waiting for nothing. Like I said if she doesn't do anything on the 20th I'm probably going to go nuts on her at the appointment. All these baby showers and birthdays is just a reminder that we're having fertility problems. After my best friends daughters birthday I'm done going to these events. Every time a party or a shower is over, at night I just go to bed crying at night. After I left the store balling my eyes out, I just wanted to throw up! I felt sick.

I really thought I could over come this. And now that my dad has lung cancer I really wanted to give him a grandchild before something happens.. Now that I am moving to Hawaii I just feel like it's all my doctors fault for not listening to me when I had said something earlier!

If nothing is done on the 20th get a new doc and tell them you have been trying for a year, a little white lie won't hurt and it ain't as half as bad as people trying/having kids and taking drugs!!!!!...so don't feel bad for telling a little lie ...I am really sorry to hear about your dad you poor thing! My heart really goes out to you ... Here if you need a chat .. because sometimes its good to talk and get it off your chest .. I really do hope you get some answers at your doctors appointment.. I went through a similar thing regarding the doc not listening now touch wood I have a doc who is fab and she has already put me on fertility drugs within 4 weeks of seeing her some doctors really do need to pull there finger out! Xx

 

[mytimewillcum]

Really sorry you are going through this! It's so frustrating when comments are made and you just want to scream at the person. I'm currently deciding whether to take a few weeks off work at the minute because of it. I have two girls at my work pregnant who i don't usually see but it just had to be the day i miscarried (2 days ago) that i was in charge of both of them. I then had to do a lot of the manual handling to prevent them having injuries while i chocked back tears of pain.

i would consider a new doctor, yours sounds like a complete tool! It's not fair to be treated like that at all. So hope you get answers and the help you deserve asap! xxxx

So sorry for.your loss xx

 

[KayeChay]

@mytimewillcum: Thank you! I plan on lying to my next doctor if nothing gets done. but me and DH has been trying for a year after I stopped BC (which was 310 days ago) basically, I have really irregular periods, so my last doc put me on BC so I can get a period every month. so after I stopped taking them, my periods also stopped.

Going on this forum really helped me and relaxed me. Thank you all! If I talk to anybody I know (friends or people at work) they all just give me that look or that "You can have my kids! haha!" or "You should be glad you have no kids! haha!" they just have no idea how much it hurts to watch other women get pregnant.

 

[Teri7489]

Teri7489: I am so sorry! I swear, Some girls just make it look so fricken easy to get pregnant! Growing up, they always told us to use protection and BC pills to not get pregnant, so it just sounded like we can get pregnant so easily. Everywhere I turn Someone is pregnant! I'm really going insane right now!

Thank you! Yeah its very frustrating. I would do as pp said, lie! Say you have been trying for over a year and if she wont help then request a new gp before you leave. Its ridiculous that you have to plead your case but its what doctors are there for.

My nan had 12 children and always said that having a big family was what she was supposed to do in life . It made me want a big family (though not 12, eek!) but its not that easy. I first my first m/c at 17 although i wasnt trying to get pregnant. I do have my lovely daughter but i had 55-70 day cycles and it was heartbreaking.

It will happen for you, it will!!! And for all the other lovely ladies trying. It may be with assistance but it will happen!!! xxx