Please some advice :-(

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - First Trimester' started by Happy2810, Jun 3, 2011.

  1. Happy2810

    Happy2810 Well-Known Member

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    Im so ashamed to post this :-( but i had been tryin to conceieve a baby with my partner for 6 months, and we had a massive row split and i ended up having a night with my ex :-/ I had a positive ovulation clear blue smiley test on the saturday and had tried with my partner that day and a few days before and on the sunday.

    Then the following thursday early hours i slept with my ex (with protection).. now im pregnant, racked with guilt.. but hope someone could help me. If that condom split.. (im having nightmares of this) could i still have fallen pregnant so far after the positive ovulation test? I know ive brought this is on myself..I should never of done this.. it has made me feel sick with worry. I know i'm to blame. I cant speak to anyone about this.. :-*(
     
  2. lubuto

    lubuto Well-Known Member

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    I don't know how to advice you on this but i feel your concern. I think that, if u sleeping with your ex was a mistake, t already happened and we have no right to judge you and beat you to it.

    I hope whoever is able to help u focuses on your biggest concern,whether you are pregnant and what the chances are, whose it might be. That is stressful enough for you to keep yourself on a guilt-trip for now.

    P.S When a condom breaks and a man ..... you should be able to know , sorry tmi, by the amount of fluid whether its just yours or also your partners. and if it breaks, most times the man will know and may mention it or perhaps you could ask him if it happened. Unless of course you were under the intoxication of alcohol if u drink, in which case you level of attention to detail diminishes
     
  3. imagine13

    imagine13 Well-Known Member

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    Eggs live 24 hours max. They say to allow for a 48 hour window just to be sure in case of a double ovulation. I would guess that the father is your fella who you were trying with. The only way you will ever know for sure is if you get a dna test I'm afraid.

    Are you back with your BF now?
     
  4. Happy2810

    Happy2810 Well-Known Member

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    Its the biggest mistake of my life.. not the beautiful baby of course , but my action :-( I am back with my partner...
    I was not under any influence, and did not feel any leakage off any sort.. its my nightmares and my mind going into overdrive.. im so upset.. this should be the most happiest time. I dont know what to do, my partner is black, and im having horrible dreams that in my delivery i have a white baby and my life is over :*(... im the most awful person .. my hormones are everywhere and im good for a day and the feel sick with the thought of it.
    The clearblue was positive on the sat, im holding onto the hope that its my partners. I was hoping that i would not be ffertile by the following thursday morning, and the back up was the condom was used.. so i can try to not worry :( xxx Thank you for yr comments or any advice or thoughts on this
     
  5. 20102001

    20102001 Yellow IVF Rainbow Baby

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    I don't think it's your ex's tbh ... you ov 24-48hrs max after a positive or 'smiley' and then the egg only lives for 24hrs max taking you to Wednesday at the very, very lastest. Also I agree about the 'knowing' the condom breaking ...

    BUT I would [in your situation] have doubts and really want to know for sure.

    The only way to know for sure .. ? DNA test.


    :hugs:
     
  6. Happy2810

    Happy2810 Well-Known Member

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    Thanks hun, I will know at the birth because my partner is black.. so we will have a mixed race baby.. i really hope and pray.. i have a son with him and i dont want to break our family up. Its not a situation i would ever dreamed of getting myself into... my karma is i will be worried for 9 months now
     
  7. 20102001

    20102001 Yellow IVF Rainbow Baby

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    Oh well that does help the situation a little :haha:

    BUT I've seen a few times where people have had babies mixed raced and they were very 'light' so even if your baby is 'light' I wouldnt panic (although I would get a DNA at that point).

    Aww hun, I don't really know what to say but don't beat yourself up too much. . . esp whole your carrying precious cargo :D

    As long as you know it was a one off (and technically you's were broke up?) and you know you love and want to be with him then it's lesson learnt :hugs:


    :flower:
     
  8. Martz

    Martz 2 girls, 2 angels & pg! x

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    I agree with the others. Its is more than likely your partners because of time ovf ov and condom but you will only know for sure 100% with a DNA test. (My daughter didnt really look mixed race when she was fiirst born btw and a friend of mine has a mixed raced daughter with blonde hair and fair skin!)

    Have you told your current partner that there is a small possibility the baby might not be his??? xx
     
  9. nicb26

    nicb26 Well-Known Member

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    Hi I really think it will be your partners, not your exs. Especially as you used protection with your ex, that along with the fact that it was a few days after ovulation makes it pretty unlikely to be his I reckon x
     
  10. Happy2810

    Happy2810 Well-Known Member

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    I am so so blessed, i had a little girl and she is my OH's :) i had to come back and tell you xx Lesson learnt xx
     
  11. suspectpink

    suspectpink Well-Known Member

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    Congratulations :) xxxxxxx
     

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