please someone listen to me im at my whits end

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by xLuciax, Jun 2, 2011.

  1. xLuciax

    xLuciax TTC #4

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    I'm so lost I dont know what to do no one will listen to me its a long story which I hope someone will listen

    My son is 5 months old since about month 1/2 - 2 months old he developed very strange feeding habits he does not like to feed or eat every day is a war with him some days he will not eat others he will take a bit but he will never take proper feeds I breast feed and have tried putting him on the bottle I have boguht every single bottle but none have worked sometimes he chooses to take it other times he will not have it at all same goes with breastfeeding he will literally starve himself he will never have full feeds on good days he will take maybe a little bit I have tried to talk to my health visitor about his feeding behaviour she tried to tell me he is a little and often baby but some days he will not even feed so how is that a little and often baby? Ive seen pediacritions who tied to fob me off with silent reflux but he was the same with and without the medication I took him back and they basically told me not to ome back because he puts on weight which he does but I know thatis only because I literally shove a whole jar of baby food down him at night because his stomach sounds like its strving but he will refuse a bottle and most of the time refuse the breast

    tonight he even started to refuse the food I was giving him before it even reched his mouth he would gag like he didnt want me to even put it in and just spit it out I really dont understand his behaviour I dont know if something traumatic in his eyes has happened and has left him with not wanthing things in his mouth I just dont know where to turn to no one will help me and im so worried about him because at the moment he has throat infection and its hard to even get the fluids inside him that he needs can anyone offer anything? any advice or experience with this sort of thing? I just cant stop crying because I feel so helpless
     
  2. Tiredgirl

    Tiredgirl Mum of 2 under 2

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    Awww hun I am so sorry you are going through this. I don't have any advice but I am sure one of the lovely ladies here will be able to help you xxx :hugs:
     
  3. lolababes

    lolababes Well-Known Member

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    Aw hun, Im not sure what to suggest really other than keep on at the dr??

    Is he gaining weight ok? I dont think the food is helping (dont mean that harsh xx) as its then stopping him wanting milk?

    Is your milk coming too fast/slow for him??

    Sorry not much help am I?? But I will send hugs and hope you do manage to sort it xx
     
  4. jojo_b

    jojo_b Well-Known Member

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    Oh dear :( Fin did a very similar thing where he just went off his food for no reason about about that age. As long as your LO is well in himself, I'd try (easier said than done) not to worry. He'll go back to normal soon - they do daft things when theyre going through developmental phases and everything can go a bit haywire with sleep and food. I know it's stressful but unless he's losing weight I would just try to ride it out and just keep offering food. As regards food, have you thought about trying baby-led weaning? Might be more "fun" and less of a hassle, though you might want to wait til after 6 months. x x
     
  5. sapphire1

    sapphire1 Well-Known Member

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    :hugs: Aw hun, that must be so hard for you. I know you say that paediatricians have fobbed you off with a silent reflux diagnosis, but there are a few of us on BnB whose babies have developed oral aversions because of reflux. Holly has a fairly mild case, I have to fight to get a bottle down her and trying to give her solids is a complete nightmare. Currently, the ONLY way she'll drink is to lay completely flat on her back. If I try anything else she screams blue murder. :dohh: I thought her reflux meds weren't working, but the doctor said that the way she feeds is now linked to behavioural reasons rather than medical. It is apparently common, as babies almost come to fear being fed as they think it may cause them pain. It sort of makes sense because she is definitely not in pain anymore. I don't know what to suggest other than to keep insisting on seeing your paed. I hope it gets easier for you, its really not fun for either of you x x :hugs:
     
  6. aliss

    aliss Well-Known Member

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    I'm not a doctor for sure, but I've struggled with feeding (reflux) so maybe I can help a little...

    From what you've described, he is certainly acting like a baby with silent reflux (refusing feeds, upset with feeds, scared of feeds) - I know you said medication doesn't work so it isn't reflux and you're fobbed off BUT medication doesn't always work. Some reflux babies need to outgrow it. Medication is a treatment but it is no cure and doesn't work for all babies.

    If he's gaining weight, is he screaming all day long refusing his feeds?

    And yes babies can develop a fear, mine was absoltuely terrified of breastfeeding when we attempted to feed him the first 2 days with a broken collarbone without knowing. he would also scream at a bottle (reflux), just out of aversion.
     
  7. bigbetty

    bigbetty Mammam to a princess

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    Hi love. I'm really sorry to hear you and your gorgeous little boy are having a tough time of things. I can't offer any advice but may I make a suggestion?

    I don't know if you are already, but perhaps it might be a good idea to keep a feed diary. Record the times you attempt to feed him, what you are offering him (i.e breast, bottle, solids), how much he has and what his reactions are.

    Then you have some evidence to take back to your doctor or hv and they might be able to see some sort of pattern or work out what the problem is.

    I hope he gets over his throat infection soon and that you can sort out his feeding problems.

    Sending you a big hug :hugs:
     
  8. Cattia

    Cattia Well-Known Member

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    When you are Breastfeeding, how often does he ferd and for how long? Some babies are very efficient feeders and they take what they need in a very short time. The fact that he is putting on weight well shows that he is not starving himself, he is getting his calories from somrwhere. It could still be reflux, sometimes it takes a while to find a medication that works at the right dose. It sounds as though the problem is really getting you down. Could you go back to the GP and explain how distressed you are? Do you have an OH who could go with you and back you up?
     
  9. Lianne1986

    Lianne1986 Well-Known Member

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    i have no advice either but didnt want to r&r.

    i hope ur LO starts to eat soon hun :hugs:
     
  10. aliss

    aliss Well-Known Member

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    Also is he losing weight/dehydrated? If not, I wouldn't try to force feed him (ie. you said you have to 'shove' a pot of food down), if he has aversion issues then that will make it worse. Have you attempted a sippy cup for him to play with and try to hold on his own? Maybe he has no aversion to that right now.
     
  11. Macmad

    Macmad Happy mum of 2!

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    Sorry have no advice but sending you hugs xx
     
  12. SarahP13

    SarahP13 Mummy to a princess :-)

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    Oh you poor thing, sending big hugs! :hugs::hugs:

    I don't have much advice I'm afraid but I will say two things.

    Firstly, don't give up on your health visitor/doctor. If you're really worried then keep badgering them. Can you see a different doctor? Maybe someone else will be more sympathetic.

    Secondly, it sounds like your LO is doing ok weight wise so (easier said than done!) try not to worry so much. You're obviously doing something right! Just keep an eye on his general health and if you notice less dirty/wet nappies then tell your HV asap.

    Sorry I can't be much help, hope someone else has better advice for you.
    :flower:
     
  13. 2016

    2016 Mummy and Preggo with #2!

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    My little man has been feeding strangely for a couple of months going 6 hours between feeds during the day sometimes and has recently started refusing solids he used to enjoy. He does have reflux but I'm not sure it's the problem. He also won't breastfeeding during the day.

    I find it easiest to feed him either as he's falling asleep or just woken up. I also sometimes try teething gel on his gums before a feed. Or maybe try a dream feed?
     
  14. aliss

    aliss Well-Known Member

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    Also how many doctors did you see?

    It took me 6, yes SIX, pediatricians to get a true diagnosis!
     
  15. GeorgeyGal

    GeorgeyGal Well-Known Member

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    Hi, my LO has just been diagnosed with silent reflux and you probably know this anyway and Im by no means being patronising there's all kinds of meds out there its really trial and error. I would also suggest taking video footage of some of the behaviour. I have done this as its hard to describe exactly whats going on sometimes Ive found. Goodluck:thumbup:
     
  16. lauren10

    lauren10 1 DD, 1 angel & pregnant!

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    I found this that might help

    Various studies have shown that breastfed infants consume fewer calories and a lower volume of milk than formula-fed infants. This doesn't mean that their mothers aren't producing enough milk. Instead, it's an indication that breastfed infants have an amazing ability to self-regulate their calorie intake according to their individual needs. This ability to determine for themselves how much they eat is probably one of the reasons that infants who are breastfed are less likely to have problems with obesity later in childhood.

    I'd personally just try to go with his lead and see how he does - forcing him to eat may be making the problem worse. And any sign of weight loss, I'd go right back to the doctor.

    If he is sick right now with a throat infection, I'd definitely expect that he is put off feeding.

    I'm sorry, I know it's frustrating. :(
     
  17. BabyJayne

    BabyJayne Me, DH, DD & pregnant

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    Madeline was never too fussed on her milk - some days would guzzle, other times it would be weeks with her not taking much at all.

    The good sign is that he is gaining weight. He is taking what he needs - and while you might not think it's enough, it seems to be enough to sustain him and to put weight on him.

    We weaned at 4.5 months because Madeline was the same with milk - we had a few weeks where she just would not take more than 2-3oz at a time, but was hungry. We started small (baby rice/porridge made with formula), but we did move on quite quickly. She quickly went down to 3 bottles and by 6 months was on a bottle in the morning and one in the evening.

    I would try not to force food down him (milk or jarred/homemade) - you don't want to create an issue further down the line. Take it slow and steady if you are already weaning, and if LO wants milk little and often, then maybe that is just the way you will have to play it for the next few months. Baby-led weaning is good - but for us finger foods etc came into play a bit later on.

    I can understand it's frustrating and worrying - we want them to take everything offered and feel like they are not getting enough if they don't. LO will let you know when he is hungry, and will take enough to satisfy that hunger.

    Has he been checked for tongue-tie? I don't know much about it but I know it can affect feeding.

    It sounds like you are doing everything you can, and LO is gaining weight so things are going in the right direction. But if you are still worried, make a nuisance of yourself with the health visitor or go and see your GP - it will be worth it even if it just puts your mind at rest.

    x
     
  18. Dolly.

    Dolly. Mummy & pregnant

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    Sorry, you are going through this hun...
    My LO outright refused bottles when I tried to introduce them at 5 months (however was a very good breastfeeder), slowly I have got him drinking from a tommee tippee free flow beaker and it was the only beaker he would use. Now at 8 months he drinks all his formula from it (15oz a day) and water inbetween aand for meals......it took months to get him used to it but we broke through in the end, I guess all I can advise is perservere.
    Maybe try a free flow beaker with cooled boiled water in it if you are worried about his fluid intake?
     
  19. CeriB

    CeriB Well-Known Member

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    Erin feeds very irratically - sometimes refusing completely, sometimes gulping so much it squeezes out the side of her mouth. She used to feed for at least 20mins, from both sides and be happy afterwards. Now, she feeds for max 10mins, both sides and thrashes and squirms through most of it! She will also scream blue murder if she is tired or bored and I am trying to feed her. It is proper hard work!!!

    The only thing I have found that works, is feeding her before and after a nap. Sometimes this doesn't work, but at least I know she is getting a bit.

    Weight and nappies are the best indicator that things are going well with LO. Is he having a good amount of wet nappies? You say he is gaining weight well. I was sooooo worried about Erin when this started, but I needed to calm down and watch what she was doing. In the end, I realised that she was feeding and her habits had just changed. If you are really concerned and need reassurance, speak to another doctor - you may need to really push them, but hopefully you get some answers.
     
  20. angel2010

    angel2010 Cart & Emma's mom, 1mc

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    :hugs: I am so sorry to hear about your struggles. I wouldn't give up on the dr.s yet. Try a different pediatrician, then another if you have to until someone will listen. I would also do as other posters have said, keep a diary and video the behavior. That way you are armed. Surely a pediatrician would listen after seeing the behavior.
     

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