postpartum ocd and anxiety

barefootnpreg

Well-Known Member
Joined
Feb 23, 2012
Messages
244
Reaction score
0
Its hard for me to talk about this because I'm scared talking about it will somehow jinx me and make it happen but I need to know if anyone else is experiencing the same thing.

I've become obsessed with SIDS. I have to have my baby in sight of me at all times when I'm awake. I can't just leave him sleeping in another room. And when I'm sleeping at night I constantly find myself waking up to make sure he is still breathing. I'm neurotic about how my OH swaddles him and clothes him because any excess fabric scares me. I'm scared to carry him in his sling because his nose and mouth are too close to my shirt. I bother my poor baby boy in his sleep constantly because I can't tell if he's breathing so I have to touch his little chest which always makes him wake up.

Also, I've always been slightly OCD about cleaning. I hate to use the term OCD because I have a friend with real OCD and its much more severe than what I have, but ever since a bad relationship several years ago I've used cleaning as a way to control my environment and my emotions when everything else in my life is out of control.

So ever since giving birth I've been driving myself CRAZY because I can't keep the house in perfect order like I like it. It interferes with the time I spend with my baby. We had a really bad day a few days ago - the house was a wreck and my baby was super fussy. He wouldn't let me put him down, he cried all day so I had to sit on the couch and hold him but I couldn't put in enough energy into soothing him because all I could notice was that my carpet doesn't match my couch, and the carpet was covered with dog hair, and dishes were stacked in the sink, and my OH leaves his dirty socks under the coffee table. I mean, this stuff was giving me panic attack after panic attack and meanwhile my baby was just crying and crying and I couldn't do anything to make him stop.

I realized that day that there was something not quite right about my anxiety levels so thinking it could be related to postpartum depression I started researching online and came across several articles about postpartum OCD. This was the first time I had heard of it but my symptoms definitely match up.

Has anyone ever been diagnosed with this? I would love to talk to someone else experiencing the same thing.

I'm also curious what the treatment is as I'm definitely going to tell my doctor about it at my check up.
 
Hi, I don't suffer with OCD but I do have something called Generalised Anxiety Disorder (though unrelated to baby). It peaks and dips depending on the stressors in my life but at the moment I can feel it rising slightly with daily anxiety about random things like how we will afford Christmas, cleaning my house, whether I stimulate DD enough, breastfeeding etc etc. Its by no means bad at the moment but enough to consider going to the docs to ask to be restarted on my medication I was on before pregnancy.

I sympathise with you because at its very worst, when I was first diagnosed I had 2 panic attacks and I literally thought I was losing the plot. There's nothing like being stood in the courtyard at uni feeling this overwhelming doom and that your life is slipping out of control.

However, once I went to the docs he was sooo understanding and I spent many an unbooked appointment in his office crying about how I couldn't go on (I also have a history of self harm so I'm high risk). He referred me for CBT which was really helpful. I also know someone who was diagnosed with it postnatally and they said it was because she had always managed to achieve what she wanted through life and suddenly her baby didn't do as she expected when she expected so it increased her anxiety levels.

I'd recommend you go see your GP as soon as possible so that you can get the help sooner rather than later. Waiting lists for these things can be looong. :hugs:
 
I was diagnosed with Post Natal OCD following an original diagnosis of Post Natal Depression and Anxiety. To cut a long story short I have always been on the OCD side of things and when I was diagnosed I was told that I probably had OCD prior to having my daughter but it had just been put down to Anxiety. My OCD relates to my daughter and on a bad day extends to a lot more.
https://www.ocduk.org/ is a really good website to read about it and get more information
There are several different types of OCD and to varying degree and visibility. Just because your friend has a type that is more openly identifiable, doesn't make yours any less frightening or difficult to live with. I was hospitalised with my daughter for three and a half months with mine and I know that the right help is essential... I hope this is of some help, you are not alone and there is help out there once you get through the natural assumptions that it is PND or Anxiety, rather than the more specific diagnosis of OCD.
Good luck
Emma. Xx
 
Sorry your having such a hard time , i have ocd and axiety which i have had my whole life which it did get worse after my daughter or not get worse but change and added on a few other things. i told my heath vistitor i was having more problems and she refered me to a psycologist so im waiting to hear back from them . i did start cbt when i was 15 but never completed but im open to trying new things.

the most important thing is being open and explaining your issues and fears to ur oh so he understands xx
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Members online

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Threads
1,650,302
Messages
27,144,745
Members
255,757
Latest member
jazzy1
Back
Top
monitoring_string = "c48fb0faa520c8dfff8c4deab485d3d2"
<-- Admiral -->