Pre-School / Nursery routine - my child not ready?

[Marleysgirl]

This is going to sound really stupid. I'm probably over-thinking it. And I know that my son wouldn't be going to nursery until next September, that's 10 months away so he is bound to change before then. And I know every child is different.

But.

I'm starting to think about nursery (the 15hrs free/week), and I have to get A's name down now, so thoughts about his suitability are running around my head. He's got developmental delay and hearing loss, but his pre-schools advisor thinks it would be good to get him into (supported) mainstream pre-school based on his actual age.

I'm looking around just randomly at Pre-School and Nursery websites, and some are listing a daily routine that includes "story time on the mat", a defined "snack time", and make no mention of "nap time".

My son is a complete free spirit. At the moment, there's no way at all you'd get him to sit in one spot for 10 seconds listening to someone read a story (even if we had resolved his hearing problems), he'd be off to play with something. He eats when he's hungry, and he's not finger feeding yet, so lunch is most often a bottle of fortified milk. And he will nap when he wants, not to fit a schedule.

How on earth is he going to manage at an organised Pre-School? Will someone keep trying to bring him back to sit on the mat to participate in story time? Will he be stopped from napping? There's certainly no way he could find his own photo on a "snack tree" to hand over to say that he's eaten.

Is he really going to develop that much over the next ten months? I hate that it's a decision I have to think about now.

 

[sleeping bubs]

oh bless ya I have had Mckenzie's name down for a while but not thinking about it yet. Hoping he changes over the next year to fit around a nursery schedules but at moment lunch is between 11 and 11:30 then nap after that so he won't fit into a nursery times yet lol

10months is a long time so he may change loads by the time he goes to nursery and they should accommodate his needs, I worked in a nursery for a while, we did encourage them to sit down for a story but is wasn't for long and they was a quite area so if a child was tired they could go and lay down and sleep.

 

[punk_pig]

Most of the nurseries I've been to accommodate the child's home routine with regards to things like naps. He should get a key worker who, if he has particular needs, should be trained to accommodate these. If you are worried about things he might be "disciplined" for I'm sure you can discuss this with the managers and get a feel for the nursery you think will suit him best.

Have you read the Ofsted reports? They might give you a clue about which ones deal with SEN well/poorly.

 

[Marleysgirl]

Unfortunately the Ofsted reports rarely mention anything about SEN policy & measures.

I know I could go to each of the pre-schools involved (unfortunately there is no central application point, so his is "on the list" for the four nearest) and ask them about their SEN policy, routine etc.

I'm just trying to get a feel for whether my worries are normal or not. I look at him now and think "there's no way he's going to fit into any routine environment".

 

[QTPie]

Hi

Oh he could change so much!

You might want to work towards more of a routine in the next 10 months, though - so he is used to snacking and napping at regular times (although he may very well drop his nap by then?).

We are looking at nurseries for when DS turns 3. He is VERY routine driven (so that isn't an issue), but he is a complete "ball of energy" - so I have similar concerns on "sitting still for more than 10 seconds".... but he is getting better all the time and I know that a little discipline will do him good. We will start with morning sessions only (DS naps after lunch): so if he wants to still nap, he can nap at home in the afternoon.

I agree that it is a good idea to get your DS into a GOOD mainstream environment: just choose your nursery VERY carefully - so he can get the support that he needs to enjoy it

QT

 

[punk_pig]

I'm just trying to get a feel for whether my worries are normal or not. I look at him now and think "there's no way he's going to fit into any routine environment".

He doesn't need to. Education, especially early years, is all about individualised learning. Yes they'll want to teach him the importance of patience and listening etc. but they should so it in a way that works for him,

 

[hattiehippo]

I wouldn't worry 10 months is a long time for him to change and if he has specific needs around his hearing loss and developmental delay then the preschool/nursery should be working with you and him to make it work for him.

Will your preschool adviser work with the preschool/nursery you choose (if you do) to help them know what they need to do? Or can they advise you on which local nurseries/preschools have experience or a good reputation for working with children who need extra support?

And I'd really agree with punk_pig - early years education should be about personalised learning and play based. There will be certain routines because most children find safety and security in knowing what will happen at certain times but that doesn't mean they should all be doing exactly the same at the same time. Have you got any Montosorri nurseries near to you -they are more freeform with things like snack and activities.

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

I'm a newbie to the world of nurseries haha Ruby started last week, but they are not at all strict about story time on a mat etc. At Ruby's nursery they have structured activities offered throughout the day but the children do not have to participate, they can just play with all the other toys etc if they want. They said she can nap any time (unless I've asked them to not let her!) and any child who is saying / indicating that they are hungry is offered a snack regardless of time. If they don't like their dinner they are offered a sandwich or fruit.

This is a nursery rather than a specific pre school, Ruby's nursery has a pre school room which Ruby will go into when she is 3 but they have the same flexibility etc in there. (they do go into the toddler room if they want to nap though - there isn't a sleep area specifically for pre schoolers.)

 

[Marleysgirl]

Thanks for the replies.

We do have a state Montessori primary here and I was in contact with them last year about A possibly going there; but this year, when I am trying to get registration details from them, suddenly they are not responding ... I think I'll have to take time out from work and actually phone them. I do wonder whether it would be a good environment for him, though the Pre-School advisor was a bit dismissive.

Thanks M2b_C, I guess that's the kind of thing I need to know: will he be forced (as much as you can a 3yo!) to join in with group stuff, or will he be allowed to wander off and do as he wants? I guess that's something to ask. I will have to start scheduling visits to them all, I suspect it's the only way to put my mind at rest.

 

[isil]

My son doesn't have developmental delays or anything but I can tell you that the kind of things you are worrying about, I've definitely worried about. And now that he is in preschool and I know he's ok there, i'm worrying about school next year! My son won't sit on the carpet for long (if at all) and is very non-stop.

I think I know the state montessori you're referring to and I think if I lived closer I'd want my son to go there. Sometimes people are awful at replying to emails so give them a ring

 

[aimee-lou]

Pre-school is totally different IMO to a private day nursery. Earl started at pre-school last week and they have a set routine, but they also have staff there to look after the children who don't want to take part. The only real structure is:

9am - registration (parents sign in and Earl has to say goodbye.
10.30-11 - snack time. They set out a bar with lots of finger food snacks, milk to drink and a few biscuits and breadsticks and the children can help themselves in small groups. If a child has a specific need or dietary requirement they will provide this
11.45 - story and 'natter' time - where they tell a quick story, talk about their day anything going on at home etc, and do a small 'show and tell' thing that they have to bring items in from home.
12noon - hometime.

At Earl's pre-school there is a little girl with SEN and she has her own key worker, and while she is encouraged to join in at all activities and at snack time, she isn't expected to. There is a 'quiet corner', and both times I've seen a child asleep in there. There are comfy cushions and bean bags for them lol.

I would call a few options in your area, and maybe go in and see, even take Andrew with you and see how he likes it. Earl absolutely loves and will not come home lol. Haivng said that, he did his first 3 hour session last week, and he was ready to come home and slept for 2 hours at home that afternoon lol. They are very professional, and Earl's pre-school has a handbook that has all the timetables, the activities, and their methods and procedures, so definitely work looking into it with the school itself.

 

[BethK]

They certainly don't force routines, they do encourage them. However my LO was totally different and wanted a nap before lunch and her breakfast at a different time. They just worked around her until she was in sync with the others and they naturally fall into the same routine.

It took 6 months of LO being on her own routine at the nursery which they were totally fine with, then gradually she's slipped into their routine and eats and sleeps with the rest of them.

 

[RachA]

DS started pre-school at 2 years 5 months and had the concentration level on a gnat!!!
He was also not very routine driven. However they do change and when he sees the other children doing things he'll want to do it with them too.

Also - they do no force them into sitting down for a long period of time to read etc. They encourage them and again, the fact that the others are doing it will help.

I do think it will help a little to get him into some sort of routine over the next 10 months - it doesn't need to be ridged but just little things like having a snack at the same sort of time, maybe sat at a little table in the lounge.