Pregnancy after having a special needs child

[Caezzybe]

I've noticed that at least 3 of us on here with special needs children are currently pregnant. Firstly, congratulations! How are you feeling about pregnancy after having a special needs baby? I'm over the moon, but also a little scared. There's no reason in my case that baby number 2 should have the same condition as baby number 1 (except for my age), but I think that when it comes to the 12 week scan I'll be very nervous. I won't be having amnio or CVS, but will have the nuchal fold and blood tests to assess the likelihood of whether the baby has a heart condition and for no other reason. I will also be asking what the statistical results would have been had I not had a child with Down's Syndrome last time.

I won't be having the scan for another 8 weeks yet, but will probably get more nervous nearer the time. Does anyone else have any thoughts to share about how you feel or felt during your pregnancy after a special needs baby (or if you had any experiences that you feel others could benefit from?)

 

[capel]

I am 8 weeks pregnant and my first daugther was brain damaged during birth. I am very scared this time round.

The first pregnancy was perfect untill the last minute when everything went wrong. This time I am not as healthy as before. I am now tipe 1 diabetic, making this pregnancy high risk.

The likehood of miscarrieges and birth defect are 10x higher now. And to complicate matters I had the flu (what causes mayhem with diabetes control)

At the moment I am in a place where I have to choose between my weelbeing or the baby's weelbeing. At the moment I am putting the baby first, but that is causing havoc in my body. Two weeks off work at the moment.

But I am trying to be hopeful. My consultant is pleased with my progress and I had a scan at 6 weeks that picked up a hertbeat.

Know lots of people with disable children that had other children after and noone had another disebled child. And I know many mums from the special school my daughter attends. I think about every other child there has a non disabled sibling.

So I am trying to thing that a lightening doesn't strike in the same place twice...

 

[Lottie86]

I'm absolutely terrified as I have a 1 in 2 chance of this baby also having the chromosome abnormality that Findlay has. I haven't had a cvs done but my OH desperately wants me to have the amnio done so we know if this one is also affected (although even if results seem ok they will have to do a blood test on the baby when its born to check that it def doesn't have it)

Add to that the fact I have a high risk of things like prem labour, placental probs, miscarriage, stillbirth and iugr due to an autoimmune condition I have and I am going to be spending this pregnancy very nervously.

 

[xLisax]

:wave: Hello Ladies!

We've got a 1 in 4 chance of this baby having CF, Im so nervous and scared its unreal.

Ive got my CVS next week, which also scares the bejesus outta me We wouldnt be able to continue the pregnancy if the baby did have CF..it would cause more health problems for my son and this baby. Lower life expectancy etc. Im so scared.

Im just keeping everything crossed and keeping positive..and hoping that the man upstairs is kind on us

xx

 

[MrsRabbit]

After how awful DS' newborn period was I was NOT looking forward to another newborn. Ever. All the crying, the year I never slept, the crying...yeah. We got pregnant with DD by accident - birth control - didn't work.

Then with DD - I went into labor at 26 weeks, pelvic rest, labor again at 27 weeks I began dilating. Full best rest from 27-39 weeks - only to be induced.

DD's birth was awesome. DD's newborn period - although difficult with pumping since she wouldn't nurse and her medical issues since she didn't cry 6+ hours a day it felt a lot more sane.
Then her screening came back for CF and the scare with that. Learning she's a carrier.

The idea of having another baby like our first 2 or a baby with CF is scary.

 

[midori1999]

This is my fourth pregnancy since I had my third son, who has Downs. He is my last surviving child though.

I was told (by different doctors) that screening tests would be a bit of a waste of time in my case, although that as after I declined them. (hilarious really, it was a waste of time the first time! ) I was offered an amnio straight away (as was my friend in a different health authority during her pregnancy after her daughter was born with Downs). I declined that too.

The way I see it, any serious heart or physical problems will show up at my 20 week scan and regardless of thst I would never choose to terminate anyway, so whatever happens we'll deal with it.

There are so many conditons that cannot be determined by antenatal testing, such as autism, I'm just not going to worry about it. Plus, I have far worse things to worry about this pregnancy.

 

[Annunakian]

My ds isn't as sever as some of these ladies's children but it still terrifies me going through everything we went through with him. I explain it as it was colic that he never grew out of. It was very hard to deal with and it is an every day struggle still. This pregnancy was a total surprise. Not trying, sort of preventing and BAM. So it scares me a bit of the idea of having another adhd/impulsive/etc child. She'll be my princess regardless but it's still scary.

 

[Newt]

We knew nothing about Oscars autism until he was nearly two, and you cannot screen for it. i am an older mum and will refuse and amnio if offered or eve if there was a test to screan for autism, I would not terminate if anything was found and what will be will be. I am not really worried, no point, will cross that bridge if we get to it

 

[Tegans Mama]

I'm not pregnant now but I have been (twice) in the very near past. I won't have genetic testing done and I won't terminate if there are problems. I will be very pregnant when (if???) I ever have another pregnancy that progresses normally.

 

[Emmea12uk]

Hi everyone and congrats! I am 15 weeks with bump three after a mmc and a child with spina bifida/ hydrocephalus. I have got this far without too much stress but it is starting to mount up now.

The worse thing is using the same hospital and waiting rooms as those I used with Tom. When I had my 12 week scan it was like being there and being told Tom had sb all over again. I was traumatized all over again. Thankfully I told fetal med and they have agreed to keep me away from those rooms for my future scans.

I have a high chance of another with sb so I am nervous, but I took part in a clinical trial to help prevent it.

I will not be having any other testing other than scans.

The biggest weight on my mind right now is birth. I font want to go through that trauma again - it was a nightmare. I want to stay the heck away from hospitals, but it looks like I won't have a choice

I hope everyone else has a happy healthy pregnancy!

 

[kelzyboo]

to everyone, i hope you have happy healthy pregnancies....and happy babies whatever the outcome x

I worry more about coping with my daughters Autism with a newborn baby rather than having another child with autism to be honest, bump has a different father so i'm hoping this one doesn't but i will learn to cope if he has, same as i have with my little girl.

It's not easy, shes very demanding but shes worth all the exhaustion!

There is no way to know if LO is Autistic before birth so all i can do is wait, hopefully having now expirienced it i will spot the symptoms far earlier than with Abbie!

All i can know right now is that i love my little angel and my bump and it doesn't matter what challanges i have to face, i will face them with my children and thats what counts, i couldn't be prouder of Abbie, her Autism is just a tiny part of her wonderful personality!

 

[mom22boys]

I am not pregnant but I am trying. I have a 9 1/2 year old with Down Syndrome. I must say that he was a blessing and will always be. It has taken us this long to get up the courage to try for another. The leaving him at the hospital as a newborn was awful. We almost lost him at 3 years old. Many nights spent in the hospital. I had him when I was 24 years old. Now being 34, when I get pregnant I will not do the amnio (I have already been told that they would want me too). I really do not worry about having another child with Down Syndrome. I do think having one special kid makes you more aware of all the things that could go wrong.

 

[kelzyboo]

I'm glad you've found the courage to try, just wanted to send you lots of xx

 

[smileylexie]

Hi guys,

I'm currently pregnant with my second child after having a little girl with downs syndrome, i've decided not to have any tests as i feel 'what will be will be'. I don't have any grudges towards people who choose to have the tests done it's just my personal morals after having maisie. In some sense it scares me to think of having two children under the age of 4 with DS however i also weigh up my chances as i'm 25 and so aren't in the high risk category. I feel that if however it is in my cards to have another one with DS i'll love the baby just as much as if it didn't have the syndrome!

 

[Emmylou27]

Firstly, congrats to all you guys who are expecting!

My first, Daisy who is nearly two now has Spina Bifida and Hydrocephalus - unbelieveably, no problems were detected prior to birth in scans etc! She is doing incrediably well though and seems to be amazing everyone with her progress.

Alfie, who was born last October was always planned and is 100% healthy. Yes, the extra tests and scans we had were scary as hell and I still didn't believe the consultants etc. that he was ok until he was born - the first question I asked after he had arrived was to check his back was ok!

Just wanted to try and offer some sort of positive vibes out there - everything birth wise etc. was completely different with Alfie and just because you have one child with special needs it doesn't mean history is going to repeat itself.

Huge to you all x

 

[xLisax]

I just wanted to update on me if thats ok?

We've had our results from CVS back and bubs hasnt got Cystic Fibrosis and isnt even a carrier of the gene! <--happy tears! I feel so lucky and blessed and am just so appreciative

Its so nice to have ladies to talk to about things on here, BNB really is so supportive

I wanted to wish all of you the very best, and healthy and happy pregnancies

xxx

 

[smileylexie]

So glad for you that your unborn is healthy and isn't a carrier

hope the rest of your pregnancy goes well!

 

[xLisax]

Thank you so much SL

You're almost halfway now! Do you find your second pregnancy is going quicker than your 1st? My 1st seemed to go sooo slow!

xx

 

[Emmea12uk]

Yay Lisa!!!!

I just had my first anomaly scan and no sign of spina bifida yet! Yay.

This one is going much quicker!

I hope everyone's pregnancy is going well!

 

[xLisax]

Thank you Emmea!

Amazing news on the anamoly scan!!

I cant get over the speed the weeks are going, everyone told me that pregnancy number 2 goes quickly..I never believed them though!

xxx