Pregnancy after miscarriage

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by linzi74, Oct 15, 2008.

  1. linzi74

    linzi74 Active Member

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    Hi
    I don't know if this is the right place to post this thread but on baby and bump there doesn't seem to be a place for mums to be to talk about being pregnant after a miscarriage.
    I am 16 weeks pregnant and in April of this year I suffered a miscarriage at 14 weeks, it was a terrible time and one that has made a lasting scar within my life.
    However I was delighted to discover that I was pregnant again but as with many women I am absolutely terrified of something awful happening. I am sorry to be so negative but I feel like I am going crazy. I don't think anyone really understands unless you have been in that situation.

    So I didn't think it was fitting to put this thread in Miscarriage and as I am in my second trimester it had to go here. But what I am asking are there any other mums to be on here who have been through the same thing and want to chat. I think talking to others in a similar situation really helps. Perhaps there needs to be a separate section for pregnancy after loss.

    Thank you.
     
  2. Logiebear

    Logiebear Mum to 4 darlings

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    I have lost 2 babies this year, one in Jan and one in May and I have suffered so pain and anguish now I am in my 17th week with this bubs.

    I know exactly how you feel as do many other mums on here, you'll be suprised how many share your feelings. I think normal pregnancies can make you worry so much but when you have lost a baby it makes you more paranoid and sick to the pit of your stomach with every twinge, niggle and strange feeling.

    So shre your feelings and chat hun. You could put it in the pregnancy Club, for general preg chit chat really. But this will do xxx :hugs:
     
  3. linzi74

    linzi74 Active Member

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    Hi
    Thanks for your reply and congratulations on your 17th week. How are you coping with the general worrying are you taking everything day by day or have you milestones that you are reaching for?

    I thought once I got to my dating scan I would feel better or once I got past 14 weeks I would feel happier, but I just start to think that bad things can still happen. I suppose the next milestone for me is my mid-terms scan which is at the beginning of November so only a a few more weeks away. I just pray every day that the baby is still okay and alive. Have you any tips for keeping positive or even anyone else for that matter.

    By the way, I don't think hormones are helping in the slightest today I feel so down with everything but other days I can feel quite upbeat.
     
  4. lauriech

    lauriech Well-Known Member

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    Hi Linzi,

    I understand excatly how you're feeling. I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks around the end of March. I had a missed miscarriage and had to go in for a D&C. The worst part for me was after my op feeling so 'empty' and useless as a mother if you know what I mean. I felt so useless.

    Lots of woman on here will more than likely share the same feelings about having lost one or more babies and are now pregnant again.

    I feel as though lots of people I see/speak to in day to day life have no understanding of what a miscarriage actually feels like. People just say, 'well it obviously wasn't mean to be', even my mum. I think, 'well it wasn't your baby that died, was it'.

    I still struggle with the feelings now and my baby was due this Saturday coming - 18th Oct so this week the feelings are quite strong for me.

    I'll stop going on, on your thread Sweets but if you want to PM, please do, I don't bite! :hugs:
     
  5. Logiebear

    Logiebear Mum to 4 darlings

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    There is no clue to keeping sane. My mind plays tricks on me all the time. I think I've not felt movement for days now but I am so early to feel any movnemtents that it's ok. But you can't help yourself and it feel awful. I have been quite strong mentally so I have been staying clam and not think too much about significant dates ewtc as they only serve to make it worse. I take each day as it comes and make sure that I try to be a happy xxx
     
  6. ClaireyF

    ClaireyF Joshua & Bump to be!

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    I'm so glad to discover this forum. I had a miscarriage in July at 7 weeks and felt so alone, frustrated, angry and empty. Now in 6w 4d pregnant and so apprehensive, i just can't wait until i know everything is going to be ok. When i went in to hospital last time everything was so secretive and none of the doctors or nurses would tell me what was going on. No-one ever knows what to say especially if they have never had a miscarriage and they don't understand the emotional and physical sides.

    Good luck to everyone xx
     
  7. danni2609

    danni2609 Guest

    I had a miscarriage in feb and im still panicky now!
     
  8. pictureperfect

    pictureperfect Well-Known Member

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    I had a miscarriage in June, 2 days later my oh was off on his stag do, I felt empty too, but I made him go as I have good friends around me etc.

    My very next cycle [on our honeymoon to be exact] I got pregnant and am now nearly 18 weeks, I still worry but reading other peoples posts etc keep me going, and every scan I have gives me reassurance.

    The way I looked at it was something obviously wasn't right before but this time it is, then that helps me to be positive.

    Your welcome to pm me if you need to chat anytime

    x
     
  9. kateqpr

    kateqpr Well-Known Member

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    Hi

    I totally know how you feel. I had a miscarriage last November and was totally traumatised by it all. It took months to feel right again. I feel pregnant on my honeymoon this year, and still find it hard to relax into this pregnancy.

    One thing that has helped is having a doppler (Angelsounds from Ebay - about £20). I listen to my babies heart beat on it, and when i'm feeling wobbly that reassures me. I still get twinges and aches (which is totally normal) but i always worry it will lead to something bad. I really do think it's natural, as so far our only experience of pregnancy is it ending in heartbreak, not a baby. But most pregnancies end with babies, and most women will experience a m/c at some point in their life (whether they're always aware of it or not if it's very early), so just try and take each day as it comes.

    My milestone now is 24 weeks - when my baby will become viable. Also, if i'm anxious about anything, posting on here always helps to make you feel normal!

    XX
     
  10. ClaireyF

    ClaireyF Joshua & Bump to be!

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    Thanks to pictureperfect and kateqpr! you are both so positive and and an inspiration!! Good luck with everything! I can't wait til we are all posting things on forums saying how we are all having sleepless nights...they will be happy times!!
     
  11. Happy

    Happy Mummy to Phoebe

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    I had a mc in May and was left devastated by it. I became pregnant again in July and the first 12 weeks were a nightmare for me, I was constantly on knicker watch and on edge all the time. I had 2 early private scans to put my mind at rest which helped and once I had my 12 week scan I started to relax a bit. I have 3 weeks until my 20 week scan and I am now getting worried about that but I take each day as it comes and try not to think about anything bad happening and keep myself busy. It does get easier the further on you get but I'm sure we will all still worry.

    This site is great for support and information it has been a great help for me. xxx
     
  12. ClaireyF

    ClaireyF Joshua & Bump to be!

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    yes im always on the knicker watch aswell, dreading a slight spot of blood :( it was horrible when i miscarried as i was in work and just didnt know what to do! I ran in to my boss who was very good and took me home straight away :) xx
     
  13. Neecee

    Neecee Guest

    I lost a baby last year and my hubby and I now realise that at the time we really weren't ready for that child at all. Don't get me wrong - had that child survived, I'd have gone through hell and high water to make sure it was loved and had everything it could possibly need. I was so upset and really depressed for a long time - I blamed myself, eventhough there was nothing I did/didn't do that could have changed anything. Then i spent the rest of the year worrying that we'd not be able to have children for whatever reason. We decided to try again this year and got pregnant first tiime! I'm so in love with this child already and I REALLY try hard not to think that anything bad will happen, but it's always at the back of my mind and I guess it will be til I'm holding him in my arms.

    And yes, I'm constantly on knicker and tissue watch! So far so good though!
     
  14. Clairylou

    Clairylou Well-Known Member

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    I had miscarriage in May when i was 10 weeks and fell pregnant again within weeks trying again so soon was the only way i could stay sane, but i am now 22 weeks and have found its gotten easier not to worry now i can feel him wriggling round its a great reassurance.
    I cant wait to meet him now.

    :hugs:
     
  15. KatienSam

    KatienSam Mummy to Ella & Faith <3

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    I had a miscarriage last November and am now 20 weeks, i was very worried up to my 12 week scan and still worry now but i had to tell myself that worrying will not change anything it will just make me uptight, what will be will be, and all seems fine!!!

    i also found a doppler helped me, i got heartbeat at about 10 weeks and if i have a worrying day i have a listen. just reassuring to hear that strong heartbeat.

    im feeling movements now so i have 'gentle reminders' that little one is ok everyday lol xxx
     
  16. cosmotbear

    cosmotbear Expecting number 2 :-)

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    Hi hun
    I had a miscarriage last September and I have been very panicky this pregnancy. To be honest, every day is a stress! Its good to have milestones tho, just keep plodding on day by day. The worrying does ease off I'd say but there are good and bad days. I was watching all the time for bleeding and had it in my head that things were wrong. As the scans showed, everything was of course absolutely fine. I still worry EVERY day, I think its only natural after you've lost a baby. Just keep counting on the weeks hun. I hope it gets better for you x
     
  17. linzi74

    linzi74 Active Member

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    Thanks for your reply and thanks to everyone for replying to this thread. I completely understand about other people not understanding which is why it is so nice to hear from other women who have gone through the same thing and understand the extra worries that we have.
    The knicker and tissue checking made me smile as that is what I do all the time. Good luck to us all and here is to lots of happy, healthy new born soon.
     

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