Pregnancy alone with no partner. can I do this?

[sammie13s]

Hi everyone. Hope your all enjoying your pregnancy. I've recently found out I'm pregnant. Very shocked as I had the coil fitted. Cut along story short I had only been with my fiance for nearly 7 months. A few days ago we had a nasty row and I walked out. Since then he has broke up with me and he's determined I'm not for him and that breaks my heart. I rung him today to break the news on the pregnancy and he replied "Make sure you look after yourself and go to your scans. This does not mean you have control over me and it changes nothing"... I'm crushed. Completely heartbroken. I thought he was the love of my life. I've sent him a horrible message which I now regret and thinking all sorts as he works the doors. What if he's met someone else? Why am I not good enough? So upset and of course now I'm pregnant. I will love and look after the baby bit it's not meant to be like this. Any advice would be great x

 

[mara16jade]

Oh no, that's so hard! I'm sorry this was how it turned out. Maybe it would be worth sitting down with him in a week or so and talking about what happened. Sometimes couples get in awful spats, but it's not the end. And sometimes it is. But I think it would be worth it to talk it out, that way you truly get closure, or perhaps hope.

Do you have family nearby? Take care of yourself. And I just want to say, you don't *need* him. Of course you want to be with him (especially now). There's a saying I heard a long time ago, "it's better to be alone, than wishing you were alone". And I've found that to be very true. Sometimes it hurts to move on, but can be what's best. In certain cases when you stay and try too hard to make it work, you make yourself miserable.

 

[Bonnie11]

Yes you can do it. It will be hard but you will manage. And like pp said it's better to be by yourself than be with the wrong person. I would give things. Week or so to settle down and see what he says about it, if he carries on the way he has been then you are definitely better off without him as he clearly isn't the person you thought he was! Look after yourself x

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Sorry that this has happened, but maybe it was better that you guys split before the baby comes. It'll give you a chance to get into a good routine that works for you. And the baby won't have to be around that negative energy.

I'll most likely be a single mom too, once my friend with benefits (the father) finds out I'm pregnant. My plan is to get my finances in order as best as possible. Hopefully I'll be able to save a bit of money before I go on mat leave, and just make sure you have a good support group of friends and family. Take it one day at a time and just do what's best for you.

 

[UnderPressure]

Sorry that this has happened, but maybe it was better that you guys split before the baby comes. It'll give you a chance to get into a good routine that works for you. And the baby won't have to be around that negative energy.

I'll most likely be a single mom too, once my friend with benefits (the father) finds out I'm pregnant. My plan is to get my finances in order as best as possible. Hopefully I'll be able to save a bit of money before I go on mat leave, and just make sure you have a good support group of friends and family. Take it one day at a time and just do what's best for you.

Has your friend still not noticed that your body is changing or do you guys not see each other that often?

 

[UnderPressure]

you CAN do it. You did the right thing by letting him know about the baby. He's going to need some time to process it just like you do. Touch base with him in a while, let him know your plan for caring for your baby, and ask how he sees himself participating in your child's life.

 

[PrettyInInk42]

Sorry that this has happened, but maybe it was better that you guys split before the baby comes. It'll give you a chance to get into a good routine that works for you. And the baby won't have to be around that negative energy.

I'll most likely be a single mom too, once my friend with benefits (the father) finds out I'm pregnant. My plan is to get my finances in order as best as possible. Hopefully I'll be able to save a bit of money before I go on mat leave, and just make sure you have a good support group of friends and family. Take it one day at a time and just do what's best for you.

Has your friend still not noticed that your body is changing or do you guys not see each other that often?

We hang out a couple nights during the week and most of every weekend. I'm kind of overweight to begin with, so I'm not showing yet. And boobs haven't swollen that much.

 

[sammie13s]

Thankyou all for the kind words. I've since spoke to him. He's still addiment it's over. Still don't really understand why as I shown him all the love in the world and did everything for him. He's devastated about the pregnancy. He said he does want more children but not with me. It felt like a dagger was stabbed through my heart when he said that as I love this man so so much. He's also asked me to have an aboration which has crushed me also. He's made me out to be a horrible person all because my 10 year old went on his tablet and I heard sex noises. I jumped for the tablet to find porn on there and I said I was woraised I couldn't trust him. And now this. I feel at a total loss. I have no family or support and my house was on fire last night which ended with 3 fire brigades putting it out. So now my home is ruined to with no gas or electric as it's not safe. I have like 1.70 in my purse. It's not meant to be like this. I actually feel like I don't want to be here anymore. Totally heartbroken.

 

[UnderPressure]

I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time! I wish I had some words to help make t better, but I don't really know what to say. All of the crap is only temporary... It doesn't help in the moment, but it passes.

 

[Bordeaux]

My mum raised all 4 of us alone. Was it tough at times, yes but she did an amazing job and kept focused on us . we were always her priority and had a great childhood. From this point it's all about where you focus your energy.