Pregnancy really doesn't feel like I thought it would...

[babyplease01]

It is really hard to feel connected to a little person you can't see, hear, feel or have any tangible link to- I thought that having a baby inside me would be enough to feel connected but it wasn't, in the early days. I desperately wanted my LO and was so in love with the idea of my baby, but it wasn't until I got my bump, started feeling LO move and could see him on the scans that it felt real and I felt connected to him. With my DD I didn't feel bonded during pregnancy which shocked me she was very much planned for and wanted and I worried it would mean I wouldn't bond with her when she arrived. But I did, as soon as I met her. It is easy to have expectations of what pregnancy will be like and how you'll feel but if it isn't how you expected it doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you or that you won't feel that way further along

Thank you, that's exactly what I wanted to hear.

 

[ajarvis]

Completely planned 3rd pregnancy. I knew I'd be pregnant this month cause we DTD on the right days and I get pregnant super easy. So I took a test with 0 symptoms and got a positive 5 days before AF due date! First feeling Scared scared scared. holy shit what did I just do Now I'm relaxing into it, but not yet overly excited. It'll come!

 

[squishmich]

With my daughter I worried pretty well 24/7 until I could feel her moving, then worried about whether it was enough/too much. LOL

I think it is part of motherhood. There is no rationalizing feelings for your baby, before or after they are born!

What you are feeling is normal and in time you may connect more with your bump or you may not.

I was one that didn't really fell connected to her until she was a few weeks old. She didn't come out and I was "so in love" like other women are.

I was so terrified that something would happen to her that I didn't let myself get attached. And I do feel like I missed out on some of that pregnancy, but its how I felt and there was no changing it.

I can tell you that there is nothing more powerful now than my love for my daughter....it just sort of clicked for me one day and she is the reason I breathe.

I am pregnant again and to be honest I feel much more relaxed this time. I do still think of the what ifs, but I also feel like I've been here before and its normal. If the unthinkable were to happen to my bean there is nothing more I could have done.

Best of luck to you!! I'm sure everything will be fine and you will find your connection when the time is right for you

BEAUTIFULLY SAID! This is why I want to be a mother!

 

[Spudtastic]

My dd was planned but when I got pregnant I was sooooo scared and wondered if we had done the right thing. I also had hyperemis until 32 weeks then just nausea until birth and I hated every mintue of pregnancy. When my daughter was born it was love at first sight. I've never loved anyone as much. She is my world. I am so lucky.

 

[Ducktales]

I think your feelings are normal. I didnt feel it was real or that things were going to be ok until I held her in my arms - maybe because we went through 5 yr TTC and IVF but I promise you one thing, the minute you hold your baby, you will be overwhelmed by your feelings - don't worry if it doesnt come before - its hard to visualise having a baby inside and a real baby actually being in IMO
xx

 

[minties]

Rather than feel happy (we tried for 8 years!)), I only felt overwhelmed and nervous in first tri. I also felt the same with my daughter.

 

[babyplease01]

Thank you all so much for responding. It's helped more than you probably know. I even find myself feeling happy and rubbing my belly now, and I think it's because just talking about it helped me to relax. I hope all you ladies are finding the support you need as well, and if I can help you work through anything please let me know.
Keep those birth experience stories coming!! I know o speak for everyone when I say it really is heartwarming to read.

 

[mod19]

I thought I would be ridiculously happy, and the day we found out neither of us were nearly as excited as we were a few months before with the ectopic. I think we were shielding our hearts at the time. We are excited, don't get me wrong, but we can't be excited everyday for 9 months! And I've been so sick that I get excited these days when I don't throw up a meal or on days that I can poop (yes, you will get excited for that too when you can only poop every three days . I think its normal what you're feeling.

 

[DD80]

To be honest, I felt totally the opposite of happy about this pregnancy until I was about 12-14 weeks. I tried to remember what it felt like before I was pregnant and I wanted this and I was a rational human being, but I was so sick, I resented the baby - and I was mad at myself for resenting the baby. I just told myself to take it day by day, hour by hour if needed, and not worry about those feelings. As I've started to show (ok, I just look fat lol) and as I've felt what I think is movement, and as I've had less sickness, I've started to really feel better about it. Now, I still have feelings I didn't expect (such as about gaining weight), but I just take them day by day.

You are not alone. Just try not to worry so much that you aren't becoming the earth mother you thought you'd be yet. ;-) we are all not blessed with that power.