Pregnant again after 5 losses & a rainbow

[LynAnne]

I'm currently 4w4d pregnant after falling pregnant the first month of TTC#2 and feeling so anxious and terrified of having another loss. I have a one year old son who was born in November 2016 but it took five losses in the space of thirteen months before we had him and I'm petrified of going through it all again for #2 - or not being able to cope and giving up on #2.

On our journey to DS I suffered from 3 chemical pregnancies between 4w - 5w2d, an ectopic which resulted in a laprascopic salpingectomy of my left tube at 8w and a MMC at 9w5d. Step one is patiently trying to get passed the time of my chemicals. Step two is having an early scan at 6weeks to rule out another ectopic at my EPAU and then from there it's just holding my breath until I get out of first trimester.

A part of me is trying to simply take strength in the knowledge that my body has had a successful pregnancy with a healthy boy at the end of it. I have had good strong pregnancy tests with 2/3 having test lines darker than control lines, the most recent one taken yesterday. But there is still a huge part of me that can't stop worrying or be excited yet. I'm just too aware of what could go wrong.

 

[karoolia]

I'm so sorry for your losses. I felt this way after just one loss so I can't even imagine how you are feeling after 5. I'm glad you will have an early scan and that your tests are strong. I wish there was more reassurance doing first tri. It can be such a difficult waiting game. I'll be thinking of you and your little growing baby!

 

[ReadynWaiting]

I can totally empathize. You can see in my signature the losses I’ve had the most recent being my son at 17wks in January. I hit 17wks today with this pregnancy and do a lot of inner talk to keep myself grounded and calm. I try to focus on the here and now rather than the ‘what if’ because there is really little I can do at this point if something goes sideways.
Do what you need to do to stay calm and feel in control. If you have to ask for extra scans or buy a Doppler than do so. I know that does little for you over the next couple of weeks but as time goes on it could be beneficial.
I hope you have a very uneventful pregnancy and can hold this baby in your arms in 9 months!

 

[LynAnne]

Thanks ladies. The waiting game is rough. I'm 4w6d and I already feel like I've known I'm pregnant for ages despite it only being a week. I do have a doppler but obviously it's not much use until later on and all my losses have been first trimester so a large amount (although not all) anxiety dissipates once I'm into second trimester.

 

[wantingagirl]

I've worried of losing this one all the way through!

 

[LynAnne]

Had our scan today and baby is doing great, in the right place, measuring 6 weeks (by my dates I'm 6+1 so it's right where it should be) and heart was beating away nicely. Such a huge relief and weight of my mind. Still a long way to go until I'll start feeling super positive but it's another step in the right direction. We've booked another scan at the EPU for the 4th of January when I'll be 9 weeks.

 

[mimi4]

Good luck on your journey. xx