Pregnant, will my daughter be ok??

[kelzyboo]

Hi all,
As you probably know i have a beautiful 5 year old daughter with ASD and i have just found out i am expecting again and i'm terrified! I have SPD with my pregnancies and i'm worried how i will cope with my little girl and severe SPD as i had with her but whats really worrying me is how my daughter will react to the pregnancy.

My little girl is very high functioning and i am not worried about her understanding but her feelings toward the baby. She has recently been talking about wanting a brother or sister and the things she can do to help out but i am worried she will feel pushed out, i love her more than life and i would never want her to feel this way. I want to involve her in the pregnancy as much as she will allow me to but i'm not sure how?

Anyone else have a child with ASD and then had another child?

I just want to help her understand what's happening and adjust to the big changes it will bring, i hope having a sibling will be a good thing for her and i want to help her to bond as much as i can, the last thing i want is for her to feel that the baby is taking her place. She's been my only child for 5 years and suddenly sharing the attention will be hard for her, i know that but i want to make it as easy as i can for her. She's my baby, she will always be my baby no matter how many other babies i have i just want to make sure she knows this.

Any idea's how i can involve her and make sure she knows that although there will be another little person that i love as much it will never make me love her any less, in fact, watching her be the brilliant big sister i know she will be will make me love her even more (if thats possible)

Thanks xx

 

[velvetina]

Hi hun, and many congratulations.

I totally understand your concerns, my ds was 10 yrs when ds came along.

It took a little time to adjust when I bought him home, my eldest cried because he "felt funny" and couldn't tell me what was wrong. It was just rather overwhelming this little person was here who was crying and he didn't know what to do. However, it soon settled and my both my parents were still here at that time, so we had some support which helped him adjust and welcome his new brother.

Your daughter sounds wonderful and a great age, you could try buying her a special doll to care for (it could be a new present from the baby) and she can care for that alongside you. A lot of the regular ones when any sibling comes along will also apply. Also might we worth seeing if there are any books that you can share with her (I have seen a couple in my library).

One I am finding eases a lot of stress at the moment, is to get everything done or as much as poss while the boys are at school then when they come home, I can give them time. (bit hit and miss with us at mo as I have been out a lot), but find this good when it happens.

Try not to worry too much hun, you will fall into your own new routine and pattern that is right for your family, it can take a little time and when the time comes if you have any particular worries just give us a shout.

Enjoy your pregnancy