Pretty severe stranger/separation anxiety case here

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by jessicaR4bbit, Jun 6, 2013.

  1. jessicaR4bbit

    jessicaR4bbit Some woman, and manchild

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    I just wanted to know if there were any other mums here who have had (or currently have) a LO who went through a bad separation anxiety phase and how they were able to manage it? Up until roughly a month ago, my boy was a very smiley baby and was very warm and welcoming with strangers. He's always been a bit 'sensitive' and needs an adjustment period before he can be completely comfortable - this is especially true for family and friends, not so much strangers - but when it came to cashiers and new people he'd be shy and smiley. Since this phase began he is easily distressed by others, even those he is familiar with. He looks scared by new faces, gets distressed when family hold him if I am not there next to him etc. Two weekends ago we took him swimming with his nan and pop, and I ducked out for about 20 minutes to get some shopping done. When I came back to them he was in a fit of tears and doing that awful panting between breaths :/

    I know it is a phase but is there anything I can do to help him out of it or do I just have to wait? I'm afraid to leave him with anyone now for longer than five minutes it is that severe, and I don't like to see him so fraught because I left. Help, opinions?
     
  2. Bevziibubble

    Bevziibubble Well-Known Member
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    I sympathise! My LO has been going through this since she was four months old. She refuses to let anyone hold her for even a second apart from me and DH. We haven't been able to leave her with anyone since she was 5 months of age - the last time we left her with someone she screamed so much she threw up and finally screamed herself to sleep :( She also cries if random people say hello to her when we are out and about.

    I know it's difficult and I really don't have an answer for how to encourage them to be more sociable. It's just the personality of babies to become more sociable. But they will feel more confident with other people one day. My brother was very clingy as a baby and is now very confident with talking to anyone. I was the most spirited and sociable baby and am now very shy. So a baby's personality can change. Your LO will become more confident with others in time, but I do sympathise with how stressful it can be!
     
  3. Button#

    Button# Well-Known Member

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    Mine was the same, he's a little bit better now. The best thing to do is to respond, it'll build his confidence. My LO started to get better when he learned to walk, now he'll go up to people and run off at playgroup. He still doesn't like to be held by other people much but he doesn't cry, just wriggles to be put down.
     
  4. I am thankful to not have that problem but I can only imagine how difficult it can be :hugs:

    My suggestion though is to make sure you're consistant with how you respond to it. If your LO cries, comfort them but make sure you reassure them.

    I smiled at a baby in the store and he burst into tears. His mother promptly said "oh did the lady scare you??" .... no, I smiled and he got overwhelmed and shy. She should have responded with 'it's okay, she is just being friendly. can you smile back?" or something like that.

    you know?
     
  5. _Nell

    _Nell mummy

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    My LO is 6 months and started this about 6 weeks back. She will not be held by anyone but me or Dad, won't be touched and doesn't like people staring or sitting too close.
    If we go to baby groups she doesn't even like facing the group sat on my knee, she clings on and prefers to face just me and sneak a peek over my shoulder.

    Even worse is that she won't even be left with her dad or be held by him if i'm in the room. She just wants me. He cannot even feed her :( if i need him to care for her i have to disappear while she naps so she cannot see or hear me when she wakes, then DH can hold or care for her.

    I have no advice, i will be reading for tips though!
     
  6. jessicaR4bbit

    jessicaR4bbit Some woman, and manchild

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    When we're out and about I encourage him by saying things like "say hello little man, don't be frightened" and such but nothing works really. I hope this won't last too long because it would be nice to leave him with family so I can have some time to myself :coffee:
     

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