Privacy

Discussion in 'Second Trimester Losses' started by KamIAm, Nov 16, 2011.

  1. KamIAm

    KamIAm BnB Addict!

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  2. Andypanda6570

    Andypanda6570 3 Boys and an Angel Ava

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    I totally agree, you think they would do this? Someone would have to ask Admin. And if even it was possible how do you know this person could not get in here, I mean what we would have to do to actually prove we had a 2nd trimester lost, know what I am saying?
    XOXOXO:hugs:
     
  3. fluffyblue

    fluffyblue Loving being mommy

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    Hi hun, I dont think they will make it private they may make it private for visitors but not members, I know the still birth section wanted it but didnt manage to get it because it may deter people from posting who have real problems or cant face coming out with their stories issues. Ask them about making it private against visitors xx
     
  4. KamIAm

    KamIAm BnB Addict!

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    Thanks girls.... I wish they could ... :shrug: Just a thought ...

    I went ahead and sent a private message voicing my concerns to the Admin, I know this is a public forum, but just thought I'd try and request :winkwink: Can everyone go into the Ethical Loss section? I just tried and I couldn't even open it... Can't all loss sections be a lil like that??

    I just hate having my real life people snooping around, or not really "snooping" but just browsing and stumble across ME... Yes, it has already happened and I'm not so excited about it... :dohh:

    I know if it bothered me toooo bad I should have just stayed completely hidden and not revealed so much with others here BUT it's hard to be personable and really connecting with someone and not sharing .... :shrug:
     
  5. dnlfinker

    dnlfinker Well-Known Member

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    Hi ,

    Wait , can we request them instead of making this forum private , just to block out our names for teh privacy issue. Like having an option for only several people whom you are communicating with (active) to be able to see you

    just a thought
     
  6. Perfect_pink

    Perfect_pink Well-Known Member

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    i completly agree with you and also the still birth and neo natal where i also post, i do think it should be private x
     
  7. amotherslove

    amotherslove MamaToLilyLucyAndLila<3

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    while it would be nice to keep it private, i have to wonder what the criteria would be for accessing this section? all it would really do i think is keep out well intentioned people while the people who want to cause any trouble would just lie their way in iykwim? also, before i lost lily i will admit to having perused the loss sections.. sometimes to see if anyone could help with an issue (as my ultrasounds were always strange) or just to read and pray.. having read them beforehand helped me in many ways when it happened. i knew what to except somewhat, i knew that time would help heal, and i knew from the second those words came out of the doctors mouth that i wasn't alone.. that when i made it home there would be a whole forum of you to help me through this.. and i thank god for that knowledge.. or i may not have gotten home from the hospital safely in the state i was in. i'm sorry you feel your friend may start reading these sections.. i would hate to have my friends reading it. :(
     
  8. fluffyblue

    fluffyblue Loving being mommy

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    I think there is always going to be an argument for and against, I felt like a lurker in the stillbirth section before I could tell my story albeit it was nearly 20 years ago but eventually I managed to and i must admit it helped. I have always been in the miscarriage and recurrent miscarriage section prior to Ollie simply because that is where I found most of my information to help me on my journey to conceive and finally have a healthy baby after 5 losses. I think sometimes its easy to think people are "lurking" however some people simply hover until they feel confident enough to tell their story.
     
  9. KamIAm

    KamIAm BnB Addict!

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    Very True Ladies....

    Very true... I would hate to "block" out someone who genuinely needs help or comfort dealing with this sensitive issue... I just can't stand nosy people, and I have unfortunately dealt and still dealing with them...... Wish if someone hasn't been touched by this terrible monster in some form, would just.... hmmm? how do I nicely say... Stay out... :dohh:

    I don't know about the rest of you, but I have chosen not to share much with my friends and family.. In the beginning I did, and it got me no where... But when I found this place, I could type away.. share my deepest feelings and thoughts and NEVER had to worry about being judged or looked at like your crazy, trust me, I know I've gotten that "pity" look many times... It doesn't help...

    I just SOOOOO wish my "real life" friend didn't start using this website and finding me on here! This has just opened up soooo many feelings and thoughts! I do NOT feel like I can post, comment or even have lil tickers up anymore... :cry:

    This section has been my lifeline and I feel as I have been invaded on (again!)... She says she hasn't read any of my posts... Sure! I believe that... :nope:

    I feel lost .... :cry:
     
  10. mhazzab

    mhazzab Well-Known Member

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    I know what you mean...you can't win either way, can you? You don't want to exclude anyone who genuinely needs comfort, whether they feel able to post, or are just helped by reading other people's stories, but, at the same time, I often hold back because I'm aware this is an open page that anyone can read, and I'm usually quite a private person. I'm happy to share my deepest thoughts with you guys because I know you understand me, and, although we havent met i feel so close to you, but, I do hold back, because I don't know who else is reading.

    Is there an option to set up our own group somewhere, invite only, to discuss the private stuff, but we also stay on here too. To help the new folk? Xx
     
  11. babylou

    babylou Well-Known Member

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    Is there anyway admin can change your login persona but still be able to keep your friends?

    Mind you, I worry that if this friend wants to find you they will, and that you won't be able to share your thoughts as much. You are a good supportive user of this forum and it would be sad if your posts became less.

    It's really a dilemma for you isn't it? I really feel for you..

    I know I really appreciate all regular contributors to this forum (you all know who you are :winkwink:), and don't know how I'd have got by in those early days. Much hugs to you all :hugs::hugs:

    I agree it would be good to be private, but I can't help thinking that I probably wouldn't have found you guys if this was the case.

    Sorry - I'm not much help :hugs:
     
  12. KamIAm

    KamIAm BnB Addict!

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    Tried deleting this rambling thread... sorry don't think it worked
     
  13. Andypanda6570

    Andypanda6570 3 Boys and an Angel Ava

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    The only way I can think of is deleting this person so they can't see anything you post, I know that can be done, that person can be blocked..
    I am so sorry this is happening :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
     
  14. jennijunni

    jennijunni Well-Known Member

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    You could have a private FB group?
     
  15. collie_crazy

    collie_crazy 1 Angel, 1 rainbow growin

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    Yip we could set up a secret facebook group - it means no one on your friends list can see your comments and no one can find the group unless they are invited.

    Or we could set up a thread in one of the TTC / Pregnancy forums which would be harder to find just one thread rather than her coming into the forum.

    :hugs::hugs::hugs: I wont let her take you away from us though! :hugs::hugs:
     
  16. SabrinaKat

    SabrinaKat Delighted Mum to Finn

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    Although I had a loss at 7-8wks, I have found the stories, compassion and information really helpful -- as I go through my next pregnancy, I find your courage helpful for when I have worries, so I would hope that we could keep it 'open', HOWEVER, I completely understand KamIam how violated you feel -- perhaps you could block this person, via-a-vis administration request? I know that a poster has to request access to some of the other threads, e.g. Ethical Loss, perhaps the same here?

    best wishes
     
  17. KamIAm

    KamIAm BnB Addict!

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    Had a lil chat with her.... Needless to say... We are no longer speaking at the moment.. She's said she can't be my friend if I continue to push her away... ?? .. :shrug: Oh Well... I don't even wanna dwell on that rubbish (how was that term ladies?) ... :winkwink:

    Anyways... All is well and I will continue to post!! :happydance: :thumbup:

    Thanks for all the replies :hugs:
     
  18. Nikki_d72

    Nikki_d72 Mum to 2 + twin angels

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    I don't think asking her to not nosy about on your conversations with other angel Mommies is "pushing her away". Really. Glad you are still here anyway, I'd really really miss you. xxx
     
  19. yazoo

    yazoo Mummy of girl & angel boy

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    I'm glad your staying too Kel. :flower: But this has really got me thinking about people from my RL coming on and noticing me on here. I really would hate it and it would prob be easy for them to know its me (loss ticker, my son's name, my name being used in some threads) I really wish we could make this private.
     

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