Problems with OH's parents attitude towards Liam :(

[xxEMZxx]

I don't speak to either of them anymore but OH takes Liam round there for a few hours on a Sat or Sun. Anyways, he always comes back telling me how they have pissed him off in some way or another.

Last week Liam came home and stunk of smoke! His Dad refuses to leave his living room to have a fag and apparently just lights up one after another. I got really angry that oh didn't take him out the room and said if this happens again he won't be going round there.

Yesterday they went over again and his Dad carried on smoking so OH asked him to stop to which he replied 'it's my house I can do what I want' so OH spent most the time with Liam in the kitchen (what's the point them even going round if they don't even spend time with them because of the constant smoking?!?)

Then I was told that OH's mum kept saying to Liam 'Mummy loves you'... WTF!?! She doesn't speak to me so wouldn't be saying it in reference to me and I was told it was clear she was saying it as if she was his mum. OH said to her 'what are you doing, you're not his mum' and she just tried to brush it off. This is the same women who said I was trying to turn Liam against them by saying they were evil to him (I've never said anything like this!). Tbh this has upset me more than the smoking because HE IS NOT HER SON and it worries me about her mental stability if she is saying things like that!

What would you do about this? I don't really want him going round there anymore with this sort of attitude and they won't be looking after him when I go into labour anymore.

 

[Reedy]

me personally, I wouldnt take him round just with the smoking alone, if they want to see him they can come to you & they will not be allowed to smoke in the house x the whole 'mummy loves you' thing is a bit odd but I wouldnt stop LO going round because of it x The smoking thing is a big thing for me x

 

[QTPie]

My Mum had a strict "no smoking around LO, me or my husband, ever" instruction once I got pregnant.

It was a big argument at the time - "it's my house, I can smoke if I like"... Yet funny that she was happy (and made a point of) not smoking when ex-smokers and asthmatic relatives/friends were around. Funny that some parents believe that their (asthmatic, pregnant) children should have to just put up with their dreadful habit....

She hasn't smoked in our presence since, but funnily enough I spent 4 months or so getting her through disgnosis and treatment of lung cancer at the end of last year! Also funnily enough she has started smoking again (she gave up for about 4 months during/after treatment).

I honestly think that smoking is just horrible: and after 18 years of heavy passive smoking, wouldn't be surprised if I end up with lung cancer too...

Sorry for the rant, but smoking around children is a huge no-no to me. Maybe your DH can meet them on neutral (non smoking) ground?

QT

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

No way would I allow Ruby to go somewhere where people smoked.

Yes, it is their home and they are able to smoke in it if they want, but it's their choice, do they want to smoke or do they want to see LO. I'd hardly think much of someone if they chose to smoke.

 

[BethK]

I wouldn't let him go round there. Freya wouldn't be in a room with smokers at all and if anyone tried to convince my LO that they were Mummy i'd go mental!

I'd limit it to once a month at the very least.

 

[RachA]

If they won't stop smoking when LO is there then i wouldn't take them to their house. If they want to see him suggest they come to yours or else meet somewhere else where they can't smoke. It's not fair on your LO at all.

I don't know what to say about the mummy thing.

 

[Aunty E]

That's disgusting. I can't believe they would smoke around a child. I have the odd fag now and then, outside in the garden after the kids have gone to bed, or if I'm out for the night (so hardly ever ). I would never smoke in the same room as anybody's child.

 

[NuKe]

what a selfish *******. the mummy thing is bizarre...

 

[XfairyhopesX]

I think you are totally right in your thinking, i would be mega pissed off by all of the above and tell OH he can do one if says anything!!!! xx

 

[xprincessx]

WTF?? So she wants it to sound like she had a baby with her son?? Freakin' nutjob! Steer clear hun and DON'T take Liam round if FIL refuses to stop smoking around him...IMO that is enough to not deserve to be a grandparent.

What a waste.

 

[stardust599]

That's awful

My Dad is the most stubborn, old fashioned person I know. He's in his late 50s and chain smokes roll ups. He used to smoke around us when we were kids but now that all the dangers of passive smoking have come out he won't smoke near my LO or my nephews at all, even on long journeys which is unknown for him! If he can do it anyone can

x

 

[LadyRoy]

She sounds crazy - tell them they have to see LO at the park or another public place where either the smoking doesn't matter or it is banned!

Also, the mummy thing - I would be telling her to back off or get smacked off!

 

[shambaby]

i wouldn't let him go there - if smoking is more important than their grandchild's health, then they don't deserve to be grandparents. to be honest, even going to an open public place like the park wouldn't be enough for me - ok, so the smoke may not have so much of an effect, but children learn by example, and they look up to important people like their grandparents. children are much more likely to take up smoking themselves if they see others doing it.

and the 'mummy' thing is just weird. although i accidentally referred to myself as mummy today when talking to one of hayden's friends but that's just because i refer to myself as mummy all day long, it's like it's now my name. she doesn't have that excuse!

 

[Enchanted.]

That's awful I wouldn't be letting LO round there again until they get their priorities right!

 

[PepsiChic]

I dont let Barry go into a smokers house regardless whether they are smoking at the time or not. Smoke sticks to everything and it stays int he air inside a house for a very longt ime.

im not risking my childs health just to go visit someone. if they really want to see him they can visit us where its 100% smoke free.

 

[mrsthomas623]

I dont let Barry go into a smokers house regardless whether they are smoking at the time or not. Smoke sticks to everything and it stays int he air inside a house for a very longt ime.

im not risking my childs health just to go visit someone. if they really want to see him they can visit us where its 100% smoke free.

I agree!

And as for the whole 'mummy' thing, its really creepy.