Pushy Grandparents

[Weston]

Morning all,

My lovely OH came home last night all stressed out, she'd been to her parents and they'd been making strange requests.

The middle name of the child HAS TO BE a name already taken by a family memeber!

The first name can't be shortened, if it does for example Michael to Mike they will call it by the longer version and nothing else!

Oh and we must start looking into going to car boot sales asap to buy everything !

Anybody else had any strange requests/demands from pushy relatives?

 

[LizM86]

OMG!! I know what i would of told them!!! I had trouble with my mum and my hubbys dad they both try and interfere and tell us what to do so i soon got them sorted out!! Not having people telling me how to raise my own child...

 

[Serenity81]

Arrghh, your post brought back memories from when I was pregnant with my first son (who is now 9). My partner's mum was a nightmare when it came to things like this! She was lovely bless her and helped us out a great deal when I was pregnant but god did she get on my nerves sometimes, telling me what I could and couldn't do, what I should and shouldn't be buying. At first it didn't bother me too much as I thought she would get fed up when she noticed I was taking no notice of her but unfortunately she didn't. There was one particular time that quite upset me. The receipt for my sons pram was at her house, we had been paying it up in installments every month and she had said that we couldn't have the pram in the house before the baby was born as it was bad luck, so when the pram needed collected we would pick it up and take it to her house where she would keep it until my baby was born. I told her that myself and my other half wanted to put the pram together ourselves as we wanted to do it. So, without my knowledge a couple of weeks later, she went and picked up my pram and her and her husband assembled the pram together and the next time I went to visit there it was sitting in the spare room!! A little thing to most people maybe but to us, it was something we wanted to do together and we had explicitly told her that was our wish. I feel sorry for your oh as sometimes grandparents seem to forget that it's not their babies and they need to realise there is a line between being helpful and taking over! x

 

[Weston]

I think we will have lots more fun and games to come, some expected, others not (like last night), in most cases I know they are only trying to help but the name thing was beyond a joke.

I have to say my OH dealt with it brilliantly (bascially told him to shut up !) and by the end of telling me the story she was laughing !

The pram thing, totally understand, even more so that you specifically asked them !

 

[Boothh]

You probably do have more to come
sorry to say! My son is 7months now and
OHS parents don't take a blind bit of notice when I tell them how I want things done! Then they get upset when I don't want them with him unsupervised!

 

[Weston]

Ah yes the good all guilt trip ! Pack ya bags !

Had that already on numerous occasions. However I have to say, apart from last night, they have been great. I was expecting a lot worse.

 

[Bingo]

Nope my parents and PIL don't interfer but if they did I'd tell them to sod off. Too many parents and parents in law appear to interfer judging from all the posts I read on this forum. This is your child therefore you get to decide what you call it, how you raise it and when you buy things and from where. It's maddening. I hope you're both able to let what they say just wash over you without getting too upset and stressed about it.

 

[Jen1972]

hi hun...
this one is classic.
recently i've read this one, about what you shuold do when grandparents interfere.

 

[Fiore]

Arrghh, your post brought back memories from when I was pregnant with my first son (who is now 9). My partner's mum was a . There was one particular time that quite upset me. The receipt for my sons pram was at her house, we had been paying it up in installments every month and she had said that we couldn't have the pram in the house before the baby was born as it was bad luck, so when the spram needed collected we would pick it up and take it to her house where she would keep it until my baby was born. I told her that myself and my other half wanted to put the pram together ourselves as we wanted to do it. So, without my knowledge a couple of weeks later, she went and picked up my pram and her and her husband assembled the pram together
and the next time I went to visit there it was sitting in
the spare room!! A little thing to most people maybe but to us, it was something we wanted to do together and we had explicitly told her that was our wish. I feel sorry for your oh as sometimes grandparents seem to forget that it's not their babies and they need to realise there is a line between being helpful and taking over! x

That's aweful Hun!!xx

 

[DaisyBee]

Just remember through all the advice from everyone & weird requests from everyone - grandparents, friends, strangers on the street - this is YOUR baby. You need to do things your way & just ignore everyone else. Pregnancy & parenthood is full of everyone giving all sorts of advice, asking dumb questions, being too nosy, & thinking they have some influence over your decisions about your child. You just have to let it all go & do what you and your oh think is best - whether it be the name, visitors after birth, what kind of carseat to get, etc, etc.

Also - if the name is possibly going to be a tough thing for your oh & her parents - it might be a very good idea to NOT tell anyone the name you choose til your baby is born. It is harder for people to say they dont like it or be upset about it when the baby is born. While still pregnant people think they can give you an opinion on the name. DH & I decided we wouldnt tell anyone the name til after she was born - & we are sooo glad we decided to wait to tell.