putting ttc on hold

[destiny27]

Me and oh keep arguing and i don't know why so I have decided to put ttc on hold for now,
seriously fed up about it but i don't know what else to do.

I haven't managed to tell him yet as everything I seem to say is wrong

So I've come to join you ladies for a bit, if thats ok... feel free to kick my butt out the door lol

 

[Chris77]

Destiny, I'm so sorry you and OH are having problems and TTC is on hold.

I hope everything gets sorted out and you're back TTC with us in no time!

 

[TashaAndBump]

Of course you are welcome!! Sorry to hear about your troubles at home. Hope things get better soon and you can start TTC again x

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

Hope things sort themselves out quickly so you can get back to ttc

 

[cazd]

Heya. What's wrong?
Has something changed to make your OH act this way?

xxx

 

[baby.love]

I'm so sorry you are putting it on hold hun

 

[destiny27]

we kep arguing and i kept snapping at the slightest thing, i suffer with depression and have the worst mood swings ever... lol

been ok though past couple of days we havent argued once and i havent felt so moody

 

[TashaAndBump]

Yay glad to hear things are looking up x

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

Glad to hear things are getting better xx

 

[destiny27]

thanks, still gonna wait though, maybe its the whole ttc thing that is causing the tension

 

[TashaAndBump]

Maybe you should test that theory - Instead of actively TTC next time you feel ready, you could just abandon contraception and carry on as normal?

 

[destiny27]

Didnt think of that, will bare that in mind

 

[honeybunch2k7]

thanks, still gonna wait though, maybe its the whole ttc thing that is causing the tension

Could be. It causes tension between me and my OH.

Why can't these guys just give us their and get it over with. Resistance if futile!!!

 

[destiny27]

us women always win

 

[TashaAndBump]

thanks, still gonna wait though, maybe its the whole ttc thing that is causing the tension

Could be. It causes tension between me and my OH.

Why can't these guys just give us their and get it over with. Resistance if futile!!!

Well maybe that's the reason it's causing tension? And please understand that I am not criticising you or saying you are doing ANYTHING wrong - I know that both you AND your OH want to TTC, it's just that men and women often take a different approach to things:

If sex becomes all about making a baby and less about spir of the moment passion, then it can become stale and cause tension between you (not saying this IS the case in either of your relationships, just trying to offer one possible insight.)

Men actually are quite 'sensitive' (is the only word I can think of and it's not quite right) about sex - They need to have their ego's boosted or they start to feel inadequate - If they think you're only after it for their sperms sake to make a baby (rather than them being the best sex in the world and you being blatently unable to resist their manly charms!) then they can go off of it or start causing problems in other areas (because they aren't very good at expressing themselves a lot of the time, so rather than tell you what's on their mind they just make stupid little arguments about all sorts of things (hoping it will come up so they can get it off their chests??)

I bet that when you are TTC again, if you just stop using contraception and see what happens (rather than making more of a deal out of TTC, i.e. developing a nervous twitch during the 2WW, pacing up and down all day every day until you are at that point where you could possibly test and not be too early, then becoming an HPT addict, then getting your and obsessively peeing on OPKs until you get 2 lines, then demanding sex every morning, day, evening and night just to make sure you catch the egg...!!) lol Need I say more? Obviously I've over-exaggerated things here, but you can see how SOME couples find TTC in this manner a little unsexy, and offputting and how some men are upset and their ego's are bashed because they begin to wonder if you actually want them for sex, or if you could well make do with a sperm donor and a turkey baster! lol

destiny27: I would definitely be giving the 'natural' approach a go - That's the approach MrBum and I will be taking, too - We'll just do it every day to be sure!

 

[destiny27]

i only poas once a day now just so i can check on when i supposedly ov lol

 

[honeybunch2k7]

thanks, still gonna wait though, maybe its the whole ttc thing that is causing the tension

Could be. It causes tension between me and my OH.

Why can't these guys just give us their and get it over with. Resistance if futile!!!

Well maybe that's the reason it's causing tension? And please understand that I am not criticising you or saying you are doing ANYTHING wrong - I know that both you AND your OH want to TTC, it's just that men and women often take a different approach to things:

If sex becomes all about making a baby and less about spir of the moment passion, then it can become stale and cause tension between you (not saying this IS the case in either of your relationships, just trying to offer one possible insight.)

Men actually are quite 'sensitive' (is the only word I can think of and it's not quite right) about sex - They need to have their ego's boosted or they start to feel inadequate - If they think you're only after it for their sperms sake to make a baby (rather than them being the best sex in the world and you being blatently unable to resist their many charms!) then they can go off of it or start causing problems in other areas (because they aren't very good at expressing themselves a lot of the time, so rather than tell you what's on their mind they just make stupid little arguments about all sorts of things (hoping it will come up so they can get it off their chests??)

I bet that when you are TTC again, if you just stop using contraception and see what happens (rather than making more of a deal out of TTC, i.e. developing a nervous twitch during the 2WW, pacing up and down all day every day until you are at that point where you could possibly test and not be too early, then becoming an HPT addict, then getting your and obsessively peeing on OPKs until you get 2 lines, then demanding sex every morning, day, evening and night just to make sure you catch the egg...!!) lol Need I say more? Obviously I've over-exaggerated things here, but you can see how SOME couples find TTC in this manner a little unsexy, and offputting and how some men are upset and their ego's are bashed because they begin to wonder if you actually want them for sex, or if you could well make do with a sperm donor and a turkey baster! lol

destiny27: I would definitely be giving the 'natural' approach a go - That's the approach MrBum and I will be taking, too - We'll just do it every day to be sure!

I suggested that to OH, but he still said no. I see what you mean though, sex can start to have that obligation feel.

But dare I say that I do like surprise babies.

 

[TashaAndBump]

Hehe, Anna was a surprise We weren't trying, I was on the pill - but we were having sex ALL the time, so that was obviously enough for us!

 

[honeybunch2k7]

^My first was a surprise.

 

[Dream.A.Dream]

thanks, still gonna wait though, maybe its the whole ttc thing that is causing the tension

Could be. It causes tension between me and my OH.

Why can't these guys just give us their and get it over with. Resistance if futile!!!

Well maybe that's the reason it's causing tension? And please understand that I am not criticising you or saying you are doing ANYTHING wrong - I know that both you AND your OH want to TTC, it's just that men and women often take a different approach to things:

If sex becomes all about making a baby and less about spir of the moment passion, then it can become stale and cause tension between you (not saying this IS the case in either of your relationships, just trying to offer one possible insight.)

Men actually are quite 'sensitive' (is the only word I can think of and it's not quite right) about sex - They need to have their ego's boosted or they start to feel inadequate - If they think you're only after it for their sperms sake to make a baby (rather than them being the best sex in the world and you being blatently unable to resist their many charms!) then they can go off of it or start causing problems in other areas (because they aren't very good at expressing themselves a lot of the time, so rather than tell you what's on their mind they just make stupid little arguments about all sorts of things (hoping it will come up so they can get it off their chests??)

I bet that when you are TTC again, if you just stop using contraception and see what happens (rather than making more of a deal out of TTC, i.e. developing a nervous twitch during the 2WW, pacing up and down all day every day until you are at that point where you could possibly test and not be too early, then becoming an HPT addict, then getting your and obsessively peeing on OPKs until you get 2 lines, then demanding sex every morning, day, evening and night just to make sure you catch the egg...!!) lol Need I say more? Obviously I've over-exaggerated things here, but you can see how SOME couples find TTC in this manner a little unsexy, and offputting and how some men are upset and their ego's are bashed because they begin to wonder if you actually want them for sex, or if you could well make do with a sperm donor and a turkey baster! lol

destiny27: I would definitely be giving the 'natural' approach a go - That's the approach MrBum and I will be taking, too - We'll just do it every day to be sure!

This made me giggle