Question about CIO (no judgement pls)

[Brz04]

Our DS is pretty good about putting himself to sleep at bedtime (after we did some CIO bc it used to take hrs of rocking and PU/PD to get him down) but he has now started waking every 2-3hrs when he only used to wake once. It's really wearing on us and we wanted to wait until 6mo to sleep train but I don't know if we can. My question is how do you respond to night wakings when doing CIO (if u know they aren't hungry)?? I don't understand why our son can put himself down for bedtimes and naps but can't throughout the night??? He seems wide awake then gets frustrated he can't put himself back to sleep and screams until I nurse. He barely nurses for a few min then is back out for 2-3hrs. DH has tried rocking but that makes him more upset bc he wants to nurse back to sleep!! We've tried letting him cry some and he cried for almost an hour then finally went to sleep and woke 2hrs later!!!! Is this bc of leap 5 and it's not possible to sleep train right now or is he just not responding to CIO method? Please help us!

 

[Amygdala]

No judgement, your call. But I just wanted to throw out there that he really could be hungry/thirsty. By this age, they've become quite efficient at getting milk, especially when they're relaxed and not distracted. So it may be that he really is hungry and those few minutes nursing are enough to allow him to settle again. Also, sleeping through earlier does not mean he doesn't need food at night now. Their needs change as they grow and a lot of babies sleep through between 2 and 4 or 5 months and then wake again (including mine *yawn*).

 

[Bun87]

I'm sorry but it's one of those topics where you're going to get judgement. Cuddle your baby a thousand times over, don't let him cry. He's still so young and it could just be that he's scared, lonely or just wants a cuddle from his mama. 2-3hours is pretty good blocks of sleep, it just sounds like you have this expectation that your baby should be sleeping through the night. Obviously it's your choice but to me, the thought of a baby being upset and 'crying it out' is just awful.

 

[kirstybumx3]

I know you said he isn't, but he may well be a little hungry. Although he only nurses for a few minutes, that could be enough to take away those hunger pains that are keeping him awake. Xx

 

[NoodleSnack]

I think you know best whether he's really feeding at night, whether it's different from daytime feeding?

What you're going through could be the 4 month sleep regression. If he goes back to sleep on his own right after a feed, I would do it just because it's the easiest thing to do (disclaimer: my son still wakes up multiple times just to suckle back to sleep because I let him form that habit from right about your boy's age). Rocking or letting him fall asleep on you will create a sleep association too though.

As for sleep training, research control crying, it's where you go in at intervals to calm them down but let them learn to fall asleep on their own, but if your boy knows how to fall asleep, I doubt it's because he can't resettle.

 

[aliss]

Not here to judge but hunger is not linear - babies have growth spurts and he is almost certainly hungry at this age. Most babies go through this at that age, because it is a typical developmental need. It is tiring, but it is important to not try and 'train out' this genuine need.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I would go with the hungry vote too xx

 

[Shadowy Lady]

Ok guys, no point in making OP feel bad by saying "oh cuddle your baby, I cuddle mine..." I find replies like that always so unconstructive. Offer actual advice or move on :/

to OP - I'm pro-CIO (at the right age though) but I also don't really believe you can force young babies to sttn when they're not ready. I think your baby might actually be hungry. Also, you are not doing CIO effectively; you can't rock her a bit and then let her cry a bit and not expect her to get frustrated. You would too Sleep training methods only work if your baby is at the right age AND you're consistent.

We tried CC with my daughter when she was 5.5 months (which is a lighter version of CIO...and we didn't even leave the room) and it didn't work. We dropped it, responded to all night wakings and then tried again at 6 months and it worked then.

My advice is to retreat for now and do what it takes to get her to sleep, but don't resort to rocking. Maybe do some cuddles, a little kiss, reading story time....a consistent routine in summary. If things are still bad in a month or so, start some form of sleep training...but be very consistent.

Good luck hunnie....pm me if you need more help.

 

[TryinFor1]

No judgement but I thought sleep training wasn't recommended till six months..

But I fully agree with shadowy lady except for the procio part, which I am actually against. But its not my business what people do to get their kids to sleep.

But the recommended age for sleep training is six months. Babies go through growth spurts as pp said and is actually probably waking because he is hungry. I like the suggestion of ditching the sleep training until he is the appropriate age and then trying again if you can't deal with the night wake ups. Best of luck to you. DS went through an awful four month regression and woke like 10+ times a night between 4-8 months. It sucked so bad. Lol

 

[Trishg21]

We did CC for Zoe when she was 5.5 months for naps and going to bed and it worked beautifully. Now she is 7 months and still waking every 3-4 hours to feed so we are starting to do CIO at night. We are going to do it one feed at a time to get her to sleep longer stretches.

No advice really because we are just starting and I know how hard it is but just letting you know you aren't alone. And just be aware you are probably going to get some heat in this topic. It is one of those things people are very opinionated about. But you know your situation and child best so you need to make the decision that is best for you.

 

[Noodlebear]

Many babies don't STTN until they're much older than your LO so it sounds like he's doing remarkably well. If your LO had never slept through at all I'd be suggesting that you wait until atleast 6 months before even considering sleep training but as he's waking again where he was previously sleeping through that suggests that he actually does need something or this is a sleep regression. I don't think it'd be right to assume that he isn't hungry/thirsty. I'm not pro CIO but I hope even those that are wouldn't encourage you to let a baby cry for an hour.

 

[staralfur]

Every 2-3 hours sucks, but isn't exactly unheard of for a 5 month old. If he nurses to sleep easily I'd keep up with that for a while. I don't think he's old enough to safely assume that he's not hungry/thirsty. Give it a month or two and then re-evaluate.

 

[Sussy]

Hey Hun
My advice would be just feed and resettle. My DS1 went through times when he would sleep through and weeks of needing feeds through the night. Just go with it and it will pass x

 

[Foogirl]

We didn't do CIO but we did sleep train. With the method we used, on night wakings we let her see if she settled for a five minutes which she usually did, but if it escalated beyond that we went in and basically repeated what we did at bedtime. We used shushing and patting and repeated a key phrase "It's bedtime now". She did settle quite quickly after the first few nights. The key is to be consistent. If he falls asleep without sucking at bedtime, don't be tempted to use it to get him off to sleep again when waking as it sends confusing messages. I also knew at 5 months she wasn't hungry in the middle of the night. I think by that point we tend to know our babies pretty well.

Ignore the judgement you will get on this thread. It's horses for courses and if it is something you are comfortable with just go ahead.

 

[Noo]

The purpose of sleep training is to teach the ability to self settle/soothe. If he is already able to put himself to sleep at the beginning of the night/for naps then I'd guess he can already do this and he is waking in the night to have his needs met:- whether this is hunger or reassurance. If feeding is settling him back to sleep this is probably your best and quickest option.

Our DS is 6.5 months old and frequently wakes to eat during the night and his feeds do seem much shorter - almost as though he is eating enough to just take the edge off his hunger then going back to sleep... then waking up hungry again a couple hours later. It's tough.

 

[Foogirl]

The purpose of sleep training is to teach the ability to self settle/soothe. If he is already able to put himself to sleep at the beginning of the night/for naps then I'd guess he can already do this and he is waking in the night to have his needs met.

Not necessarily. Abby self soothed for night but naps took a lot longer. Same with night wakings, it just took a little longer for her to get the hang of it, that's all.

 

[steph.]

My advice is to not stress about it, and just do whatever is easiest to get you through the day and night. I think what I realise now that I didnt with my first baby, is that everything is a phase and wont last long. You might want to 'fix' something that isnt perfect now, but even if you do your baby may go back to waking up again in 2 months time and the stress will just start all over again. They change quickly at this age, so its better to just go with the flow, accept that for now (maybe it will be for 1 week, maybe for a couple of months) your baby is waking up every couple of hours and just do whatever gets him (and yourself!) back to sleep the quickest.

As a side note, my previous sttn baby is now waking up a couple of times for feeds and she is about the same age as yours. Maybe its their appetite increasing as they get ready for solids at 6mths...?

 

[mammy2oaklen]

Mines 10 months and still wakes every 2-3hours and has a bottle through the night. I think hes hungry too could be having a growth spurt