Question about why TTC now?

[akgrown]

Hi all! I hope it's okay to pop over here to ask a question... I will try not to ramble too much!

I am new here and currently in WTT. Tentatively set a TTC date for this coming September. I think about having children all the time and my DH says we can start TTC anytime. Originally we were waiting until September to save some money as I plan to stay home after the baby.

It is such a huge decision and I find myself going around in my head and don't really have anyone in a similar situation I can talk to about it. There are many reasons to start TTC now and I can't really articulate the fear - not just the fear of the unknown but anticipating how much our lives will change or knowing people say there is never a "right" time but what does that mean?! I must say that I am not always good with change (until after it already happens) I also worry that because I am older (close to 30) that it may take us a while to conceive and I don't want to regret not starting sooner.

I was just thinking that talking to others about why they decided to TTC now might help me sort through my emotions. Thank you in advance!! XOXO

 

[SarahMelissa]

Hi there, all i can say about starting to ttc is that it just kind of felt right, there was just something inside me that all of a sudden snapped and now its all i can think about and all i want, you can really only go on how you feel, i think when the time is right you will know. Good luck!

 

[Mrs Doddy]

I was very nervous but that soon passed and know it is the right thing to do - also if you are on the pill then it might take a few months or so for things to settle down and your periods to come back, If I was you then I would start now - if it happened straight away then you still have 9 months to save, if not you have longer xxx

 

[Beee]

Hi, I'd say its pretty natural to feel a little nervous/apprehensive about it, its probably the biggest life change ever! But such a fantastic one! I think that people are right, there's never a 'right time'-there will always be pressures, either financial or at work etc, but if you and your OH feel ready, then I say go for it! And as you say, it may take longer than you anticipate to conceive. If you're both happy then go ahead and try! Good luck! xxxxx

 

[tansey]

I waited until i had met Mr Right and then I waited until he was ready and then we started.
Age isn't on my side (36) and after 1 MC in Feb08 I am still waiting and trying!

I think you have to be ready but don't have any regrets!

 

[Charliemarina]

well im slightly diff from everyone else here, and yes i was a young mum at just 17 with no home no man (he was a good man just had big probs and is now deceased) I had just a job that's it and my bean, now at 17 i did not expect to fall preg especially when id been told on 2 occasions that carrying a baby would be very slim for me due to a serious infection when younger, my ovaries are fine and id OV every month but womb was too scared to have a baby attach, i never thought it could happen let alone would happen.
so 3 months into the pregnancy i missed a period (yes i had af for first 3 months of pregnancy) i never thought i would be preg so went to the doc for investigation as to where af had gone i thought something bad had happened with scarring (i was young and had no clue lol)
he said lets test u for preg i said no point but he did anyway, and sure enough i was preg and 15 weeks gone at first scan a week after the result. and at the scan it was found my scar tissue had healed somewhat they think it was because the damage was done when young so i healed.
now im 17 with nothing but a job but i was not prepared to give up the one thing id been told id never have MY BABY, this prob was not the "RIGHT" time in my life for it but its true ur never ready for a baby or the change but when it happens OMG its amazing the best change ever in life, now i have 2 children my son 8 and daughter now 1 and half, and since them 2 i have fallen preg twice again but with mc as outcome so we still trying for num 3, now i may not have had anything when he was born but i now have a wonderful home, money, car, love, and best of all my family around me, don't dwell on the "what u have" part hunny coz in reality know one has enough really unless real rich, the love u get from ur kids will compensate not having nice shoes or handbag i love it, im 26 this year and waiting for number 3 xxxxxxxx sorry essay just felt it had to all come out lol xxxx

 

[cath]

Me & DH have been together 11 years. Im 31, he's 35. He's been ready to TTC for ages, it was me holding things up. We'd always said we wanted them one day but(for me anyway)it was in a kind of abstract way-the idea sounded nice but not something I wanted to do anytime soon. I never had broody feelings & when friends & family got pregnant, I secretly thought they were mad for giving up their freedom! I was more likely to go gooey over a dog than a baby. DH always said he wanted them, but only if I did too-if I decided I didnt want to be a mum, then we wouldnt have any & he would be ok with that(he does have a 15 year old daughter from a previous relationship) Then last year, I just started feeling broody all of a sudden. It started off just being a bit broody,then got more & more & more. So we decided to finally set a date for our wedding(always wanted to get married before starting a family) and to start TTC straight after. Once we'd done that, I started thinking about it more & more & actually wanted to bring our TTC date forward but couldnt because I didnt want to be pregnant on my wedding day in case it made me ill. The way you are feeling is exactly how I felt but its normal, having a baby is a huge thing. Even now we're actually TTC, I still feel scared about it sometimes, wondering if I really am ready but then I think about how much I want to be a mum & realise the other stuff doesnt matter.I would say that if both you & OH are ready now then go for it.Good luck with whatever you decide to do

 

[akgrown]

Thank you everybody so much for sharing and your kind responses. You made me feel much better I think I was feeling that maybe TTC was not right for me because of the fears that I sometimes have but now I feel much more normal

I just finished my last pill in the cycle yesterday so I think I may be moving over here to join you in TTC soon. (Eek! Jumping up and down with a scared look on my face - haha)

And Cath - I love your dogs! So cute!

 

[RaeEW89]

You should never have any regrets about this, if you two are ready to start trying then you should. As metioned earlier if you do concieve right now you do have 9 months to save up and be ready. You are def mature enough at this point Im sure and if it feels right now then it probably is right. Good luck!!

 

[Wshng4Baby]

I hate the saying of "there is never a good time" and I think it needs to be adjusted to "there is never a perfect time" which I believe. My husband and I kept waiting and talking about when we would TTC, setting goals that we had to meet beforehand (usually financially) but you know what? We never found ourselves that much better off after meeting goals. We saved up money, the stock market went down. We bought a house, house prices went down. There was always an ebb to our flow.

Anyway, we literally woke up one morning and my husband said "let's have a baby" and I said "ok" It is probably the "worst" time for us because I just started a program to become an R.N., but I believe that there "will never be a perfect time" and we are both scared as all hell but I know it will be wonderful once it happens.

Good luck!

 

[akgrown]

Thanks Wshng4baby - so true and glad to know we aren't the only ones who are scared and congrats on TTC!

 

[NuKe]

oh I am completely consumed and insanely excited about our first pregnancy, and also totally petrified!! We both just realised we both wanted a baby and we wanted one now!! It took a negative test for us both to realise this though!