Question about work

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by Missy, Jun 7, 2011.

  1. Missy

    Missy Well-Known Member

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    I had a mc at the weekend and I haven't been back to work. My boss knows what happened and told me not to even think about work because I need time to grieve. My job is really demanding and I'm actually taking voluntary redundancy at the end of the month. I don't feel like going back yet. My bigger boss actually e-mailed me yesterday with basically 'sorry to hear you're poorly. There's an important meeting on Friday, do you think you'll be in?'. I really don't know what to do. I have such a massive workload before I leave but the biggest part of me just can't face the pressure at the moment. I don't feel like going back at all right now but I know I'm putting a lot of work on to others while I'm away. How long is reasonable to be off work in this situation? What have others done? Thanks
     
  2. ebony2010

    ebony2010 Pregnant with #2

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    I think you need to take what time you need and if you can't cope going back in them you're probably not ready. :hugs: x
     
  3. Mrs G

    Mrs G Lily and Tommy's mummy

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    I got signed off for a week then luckily it was half term so I had 2 weeks off in total. I think both physically and emotionally you need it. Some people though might think working would keep your mind off what it happening. At the end of the day, it is only a job and some things are more important (imo)

    :hugs:

    xx
     
  4. ceejie

    ceejie Well-Known Member

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    I think you need to take the time you need. I rushed back to work, because well I couldn't afford not to, and while I may hopefully get reimbursed through insurance for my time off it will be weeks until that cheque comes through if it does at all. I totally regret going back to work so early. I really only had a few days after my D&C. My work definitely suffered for the first week or so, and I was far to easy to set into tears.

    You need this time, emotionally & physically. :hugs:
     
  5. lynne192

    lynne192 mum 2 James & Libby

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    you could go to the doctors and getting a sick line? means you don't need to explain but maybe its best to explain or ask him to talk to your more direct boss? if you have in writing what you boss said about taking time off etc then submit that you the higher boss... sorry for your loss hun huge hugs not nice thing to go through and have to deal with work
     
  6. MissyBee

    MissyBee Well-Known Member

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    I took a week and a half off. I had to take an LOA and just had to have my doctor sign off on it, he gave me as long as I felt I needed. I couldn't have handled going back any sooner than that.
     
  7. Bosch

    Bosch Mommy of 2 angel babies

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    I went to work 2 weeks after my miscarriage, within 30mins of being there I burst out in tears. I was sent home and remained there for another 3 weeks hiding from the world.
    I guess we'll always have our bad days, but taking care of yourself right now is very important. You need to scream, cry, mourn your loss. People who haven't been through something like this don't understand what you are going through.
    Sending you love :hugs::hugs:
     
  8. Missy

    Missy Well-Known Member

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    I can't believe this....I e-mailed my boss on Tuesday saying I was not ready to return yet and that I would not be back before Friday at the earliest and would update her then. I have been checking odd e-mails from home but not really responding and today she has sent two e-mails to others in which she says 1. I am expected back on Monday and 2. I will be attending a meeting on Monday. Now I feel under pressure not only to go back next week but also to be 'business as usual'. It's really stressed me out. It's like she's assuming I should be over it and I feel anything but. I'm seeing my doctor in the morning and I'm still trying to decide whether to ask her to sign me off for next week. I was hoping that if I did feel brave enough to go back on Monday that they would go easy on me but I can't see that happening after this and it's made me scared to go back in case I lose it.
     
  9. holymoly

    holymoly Well-Known Member

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    Hi Missy, I'm not 100% sure but I think what your big boss is doing counts as harrassment (is she emailing you directly or cc'ing you in on emails to others?). I think there are guidelines to as what's appropriate contact with staff when you're off sick, might be worth looking up as it sounds to me she's in breech of them. Sod em, you're leaving at the end of the month anyway. I'm sure your gp would sign you off for as long as you think you need and your immediate boss sounds lovely so I'm sure she would agree to your reference if that's worrying you. Don't forget you've been through a lot and need to recover at your own pace xx
     
  10. lynne192

    lynne192 mum 2 James & Libby

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    get your doctor to sign you off hun you can't go back and then fall apart its not fair on you your not ready and she shouldn't be pushing you into it. get the doctor to help and then sent her the details keep the emails and maybe talk to someone else about them. really sorry this is causing you more pain at a time when its really not needed.
     

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