questioning my fertility, feel hopeless...maybe tmi, please read

[tryingin2013]

Hi all. I'm new here. This is my first post.

My BF and I have been ttc for 5 months. I quit the pill 5 months ago. AF just showed up today and I feel really let down. We have pretty much done the BD each month multiple times every day during my fertile window and he on average(this is where the tmi comes in!). Some days he has ejactulated a dozen times...most days at least 6, yes, he is an amazing specimen. So I should have plenty of viable sperm laying in wait, right?

I've had 2 children and he has had one, so we know we both used to be fertile at least.

My cycles since being off bc were 29 days, 3 that were 28 and now the last 2 were 25 days. I'm worried about perimenopause with the short cycles. Or maybe I have really been pregnant and my body is aborting because of the smoking

I'm 32 and have a 10 yr old and a 7 yr old. I quit smoking a couple weeks before I got pregnant with my first and quit for 10 yrs. I started again this last yr after getting a divorce. I've smoked less than a year now. Could this be what is preventing me from conceiving? Of course as soon as I see a BFP I will quit...actually I'm quitting in the morning regardless now. I've read too much on smoking and infertility to continue. Stupid. I should know better. There are so many health risks and I'm no idiot. So, please, no lectures on the smoking.

Thanks for listening. I'm just so disheartened.

 

[OpheliaVY]

Just my two cents... I think the fact that he ejaculates so often might be a bigger problem than the smoking. No lecture from me on that. I know how hard it is to quit and stay quit. But google the other. 6 times a day doesn't seem like it would give him time to produce more sperm. Every other day is what dr's say to perfectly fertile couples. Once a day tops. Good luck and fx for you! It's only been 5 months so I wouldn't worry too much until you hit a year. You can always have your dr check to see if you're ovulating.

 

[tryingin2013]

Thanks, Ophelia Yes, I did wonder if this was a problem, but I don't have the heart to tell him that I don't want to be with him so we can save his sperm for baby making. We do enjoy being together and it's really about passion and not about the baby making. We kind of feel like it will happen when it happens. I just worry that there's something wrong with me. I do know that he feels emasculated every time AF shows up though. I guess if it continues, then I'll have to have a talk with him about it.

 

[OpheliaVY]

It takes time for your body to regulate after BC. I'm working on 13 months of trying to get mine straight. Try some OPK's or temping to confirm O. If you are o'ing cut back on the sex.

On a side note: how in the world do y'all have the energy for that! I would be plum tuckered out after 2 times!! Lol

 

[hopefulfor1st]

It takes 24-48 hours for sperm to mature in the semen...if he's not giving them time to mature then he'd be "shooting blanks" for lack of a better term as the body is replenishing the semen faster than healthy sperm can grow in it.
If a man has a above average sperm count he has healthy sperm in his semen after 24 hours, but for most men it's closer to 48 hours.

 

[tryingin2013]

Well, Ophelia, it only happens that way when the ex has the kids and I do need to catch up on my sleep afterwards. I slept 12 hrs one monday after spending the weekend alone together.

Thanks, hopeful, I know I did read this before. He had saved it for a couple days for me right before O time this time and then we proceeded to marathon BD I was really hoping that it would work.

A side note from me: I don't know if I did get my period after all. It was very little yesterday and I thought I would wake up with a soaked super plus tampon and maybe even the panty liner too, but it was more or less dry, just a little brown discharge on it...I'm not getting too excited yet, we'll see.

 

[hopefulfor1st]

Ahh fingers crossed.

Also just to confuse further....don't let him save it too long or they'll be slow, old aged sperm!
I'd swap to pads if u think it could be implantation bleeding as you shouldn't use tampons in pregnancy. Plus then you can monitor things!

Hoping for a happy update!

 

[hollowmac]

My dr told us every other day when we were TTC. I agree with the other ladies that he needs time to replenish his "supply". Good luck!!!

 

[tryingin2013]

Heehee, he only saved it for 2 days, that's a feat for him with his sex drive

Yes, I guess I should switch to pads. I used a tampon again this morning being in denial that I could be pregnant, not wanting my hopes up....trying not to symptom spot, but my nipples are sore and usually that quits when af shows up. It'll happen pre O and a few days after even and then is dissipates, now it seems to be increasing.

 

[hopefulfor1st]

Keep us updated when u test

 

[tryingin2013]

I'll let you know! Thanks for being so welcoming to the newbie

Good luck to both of you in your endeavors. x

 

[tryingin2013]

Well, still no AF and spotting has abated. AF due on Thurs if I'm presuming a 28 day cycle. I bought a 3 pack of FRERs....soooo hard not to test right now. I think it would be too early though. Maybe in the morning.

 

[hopefulfor1st]

I'd test but that's just me lol.
Frers quote that they are 98% effective the day before a missed period and 99% effective the day of missed period so no huge difference. Maybe just leave it til tomorrow morning though as first morning pee is best to use!

 

[tryingin2013]

Well, I broke down and took one and got BFN I'll try again if AF is late.

 

[hopefulfor1st]

Yes definitely, good Luck.
At least not too long to wait!

 

[tryingin2013]

Yeah, and I had 4 bfns after the missed period with my second child, so maybe my levels are naturally kind of low? Grasping straws here, lol

 

[hopefulfor1st]

Some women naturally don't excrete alot of hormone in their urine, the body expels it in other ways good luck.

 

[tryingin2013]

Well, I had a bit more spotting this morning, nothing bright red and not much, I thought it was going to start, but not yet. Maybe I'm just spotting due to stress. I don't usually spot unless I'm on the pill. On the pill, it's a regular occurrence.

I want to go shopping But I don't want to buy a bunch of skinny girl clothes if I'm just going to get fat. What a dilemma.

 

[hopefulfor1st]

Well, I had a bit more spotting this morning, nothing bright red and not much, I thought it was going to start, but not yet. Maybe I'm just spotting due to stress. I don't usually spot unless I'm on the pill. On the pill, it's a regular occurrence.

I want to go shopping But I don't want to buy a bunch of skinny girl clothes if I'm just going to get fat. What a dilemma.

Lol this is the exact dilemma I'm in! I'm still wearing alot of maternity clothes from last time around and feeling terrible about myself.
I settled on 2 flowy tops and a dress that would look super cute with a bump

 

[tryingin2013]

Ha! Well, I'm out this month AF did rear her ugly head this afternoon. I'm not as torn up as I thought I would be. Still holding out hope for the future. It's not exactly the best time, but knowing it could take longer now that I'm older, I'm still not taking any preventative measures in the future.