Rant about SIL...Tell me what you think...

[mommylam]

Well I don't really understand when people want to keep their babies away from everyone. When I came home from the hospital with each of my children, I would take them out shopping with me or to visit people. The baby has the antibodies of the mother for like the first 4 months. I see protecting them to a point but keeping babies away from all germs (like it's even possible) just makes them more likely to be sick all the time because they never build any of their own antibodies.

That being said....it's a decision for each person to make. Their baby ....their choice. Excessive or unfair is irrelevant and frankly I think that persons choice should be respected.

Maybe once baby is home and she's feeling more confident about things she will change her mind and let people see the baby sooner!

 

[Fruitmash]

I concur with the majority on this. I told my family that I don't want anyone coming over for atleast a week (Although it is different to three) and they were fine with it. Because my baby, my choice. She's doing what she feels is best for her and her baby, it doesn't matter if it goes against what you believe regarding this. When you have your baby, and you choose to see everyone soon, that's because you wanted to. But how would you feel if you invited her over and she ranted on about how wrong it is for you to do this, don't you care about the safety of your baby?? Don't you want to bond, don't you care?? It's so cruel for anyone to judge a new mum for her choosing when to meet others. I won't be letting OH's niece and nephew near her at first, not because of germs, more because they're spoilt brats who would DEFINATELY fight over who touches and kisses her. And then they'd run riot and break my stuff for me to clean up again. Not a chance. Give her time, she might not even want three weeks, but it's her choice.

 

[Onemoretime5]

In all honesty I think you are being selfish it is not your child. You can be upset all you want just remember you do not have a right to this child and you have no right to make her feel bad for her choice. I will choose who I want around my babies and when I want them there! I will be the one who is lacking sleep I will be the one who is smelly sleep deprived, the house will be a mess and the whole family had to adjust sorry if family and friends are not my first priority and having children yourself one would think you would understand a bit more. I am amazed at how self centred you are being honestly. Im not one to add to these types of post but I find you most upsetting

 

[mrs.amillian]

I think I'm gonna have to disagree with the majority on here

I'd be absoultley devestated if my SIL said this to me, we are close and have been for years, when my first nephew was born, my parents, husband and I were there with 2 hours of his birth and we all got loads of cuddles.

My second nephew was a bit more strained, they didn't tell me he was born until 5 or 6 hours after, I was very shocked and hurt, turns out they were trying to protect me cause I had been having a very stressful week in my own pregnancy and was working nights.
But still I was cross! Got to see him the next day and he's amazing!

I think if my brother had said we would have to wait 3 weeks after the babys birth I would have kicked up a stink too, and my Mum and my Dad, lol!!

Also with my second nephew, his Mum and Dad and big bro all had colds and the baby himself actually stopped breathing and was admitted to hospital, none of the rest us were ill. He's fine now,
So that stuff about germs doesn't always apply.

What I would do if I was you is try very hard to take a step back, sounds like this girl has been hurt quite badly recently. Maybe this is her way of controlling a situation that she may feel is out of control,

Also family are easy targets cause you know that deep down they are ALWAYS going to be there, this is obvious you love your niece/nephew already.

I would let it slide for the moment, like many people are saying she may feel very different after the baby is here.

I would apologise, even if I didn't mean it, lol! Sometimes it may just help to break the barrier and get her talking rationally to you. Plus it sounds like you want your kids and there new cousin to be friends so best start with the Mummies!!

Oh and one more helpful hint, rememeber your both pregnant and BOTH of you have nutso hormones flying around, sometimes remembering that can help you to hold your tounge and breathe before flying loose!!


Sorry for the looonnnng post xxxxxxxx

 

[Mindy_mini]

I think you're being unreasonable tbh. Its your brother and sil baby and they can decide what they want.

 

[no drama mama]

I can see where she's coming from. I don't want anyone there the first day, possibly the first two, including DH's daughter. I want that bonding time without having to share yet. But we haven't had that fight yet...

 

[Ashlee B x]

Im one ofthese people that would LOVE to have family and friends over They was there with me thruout the whole 9 months so why not be there to share my excitement when my baby enters the world? Yes my house will be a mess, Yes i probably wont have showered that day, Yes ill be very sleep deprieved, but SO WHAT? its a brand new thing and who better than to share those precious moments with the ones you love??

I understand maybe a couple days just to settle inbut weeks is very harsh! My son had changed LOADS in 3 weeks, didnt look a thing like his newborn pics so i definately understand where you're comin from huni! My BIL n his gf wouldnt even let me touch their boys face (at 2 months old) without me washing my hands WTF and now hes always ill, my boy, it didnt matter to me too much as daddy is a carpenter and always came in dirty and gave him a cuddle n hes NEVER ill lol.

Just tell her if thats the way she wants to be atleast send you updates and pics of how shes gettin on so you can brood that way I hope you get things sorted with her xxx

 

[ohiomom]

I agree; I would be upset too! You cannot keep your baby in a bubble. In fact, as long as people take the appropriate precautions, everything will be just fine. Taking that approach, mom cannot leave the home for 3 weeks. With this theory, she can run to the store and touch or see alot of people and bring it home to baby. Simply put, it's odd to keep family away from the baby as you are not going anything from keeping him or her safe. Dad goes to work, dad comes home with work germs. It's the same thing!

 

[MommyJaan]

wow. is it really that serious? LOL. maythisbelove, just get the newborn a gift delivered at birth... some fruit juice for mommy and a teddy for LO. Dont have hard feelings and be happy. Think about the oven in your bun.... did you know that when you stress he/she stresses too

 

[maythisbelove]

I think you're being unreasonable tbh. Its your brother and sil baby and they can decide what they want.

It's actually my husbands' sister.

 

[maythisbelove]

Does no one see that I respect and understand her decision?...that doesn't mean I am not allowed to be upset! That's all I am trying to say! Me and my SIL are fairly close and she tells me this news. It hurts, but I GET IT and I will respect her wishes of course. But I am allowed to be upset about it regardless, I just want her to see that she is telling the family NO ONE IS ALLOWED- except my MIL- at the hospital to visit or at home for three weeks. So that means for three weeks I won't know what she looks like, get to see her in her cute outfits, see my SIL and if she needs anything. My MIL works Fulltime and won't be there 24/7 whilst in the hospital OR at home.

I am allowed to be upset HOWEVER I do understand and will respect the no visitor rule until she says otherwise.

 

[Futuremommy1]

yes you are allowed to feel what you feel. I just hope that it's only here that you say this because I do think it would be unfair to say all this to your SIL (maybe once for shock purposes) because like others have said it's her decision and so many ladies on here feel similar about not letting anyone in on their "bonding" time.

 

[YoshiPikachu]

Does no one see that I respect and understand her decision?...that doesn't mean I am not allowed to be upset! That's all I am trying to say! Me and my SIL are fairly close and she tells me this news. It hurts, but I GET IT and I will respect her wishes of course. But I am allowed to be upset about it regardless, I just want her to see that she is telling the family NO ONE IS ALLOWED- except my MIL- at the hospital to visit or at home for three weeks. So that means for three weeks I won't know what she looks like, get to see her in her cute outfits, see my SIL and if she needs anything. My MIL works Fulltime and won't be there 24/7 whilst in the hospital OR at home.

I am allowed to be upset HOWEVER I do understand and will respect the no visitor rule until she says otherwise.

I get it. And you could ask he to take pictures.

 

[Crannog]

To be honest if she is like this at the start with the baby it's a sign of things to come.

I just can't understand why some mothers are like this. Babies love meeting other humans . They love their Grandmothers/Grandfathers, aunts, uncles and cousins etc. Their favourite thing in their young lives is studying the faces and expressions of others. I just cannot understand any mothers who deny their little ones these very first and important experiences, regardless of how they themselves feel about family members.

 

[NuKe]

I reckon she'll change her mind once the baby arrives, she'll want to show her off!

 

[zephyr]

I just read over some more of these posts and I reckon she will changer her mind. If FOB isn't around and MIL wont be around much either she will start asking people for help. Those first few weeks are tough and maybe after a week of no sleep she will be begging for you to come over?