RANT alert!

[Kiki1993]

So our date is open to change but for now its december 2013, but i just need to rant right now! Today in college they brought up weddings because they thought someone said they were engaged..this girl then tells them no she isn't but I am. Then came the judgement! Most of them already knew I was, yet they still commented! One said "how old are you?" i said 18 she replied with "oh its stupid to be engaged at your age, live your life, it will end in divorce" ....its like how cant i live my life if i'm committed to someone? Because i'm not sleeping around? Anyway then half the class got involved in this "debate" which basically turned into a bullying session to be perfectly honest. I felt like crying...what did they expect to achieve? For me to say "your totally right, i'll dump him right now" ... NO i don't think so! I have been with him almost 3 years and we are completely in love and will be together 5 years when we get married. I am not rushing into this and its what I want ... they don't even know me that well and we barely talk so why do they think they have this right to basically make fun of me, and mock me. They kept going on about how they expect an invite and laughing with each other and I just replied "trust me you wont get one" and then the lecturer said lets get on with the class. I felt ready to cry tbh I have put up with their bullying for a year now and i'm sick of it, the excluding, the mocking and i dont even care anymore because i know they are just jealous.
Sorry about the rant but thought some of you ladies might have had a similar experience where people try to put in their "opinion" which you hear over and over!!

 

[kailynn]

don't let them bring you down! do what makes you happy, that's all that really matters.

 

[Kiki1993]

Thanks I will, its just so upsetting when everyone, even people i've just met, make a nasty comment ... Makes me want to scream in their face I don't judge them so they shouldnt judge me, especially when i'm doing this to make me happy

 

[Lisa84]

Don't let them bring you down hun. Like you said they are probably jealous. I'm 27 and still get people questioning my decision to get married constantly saying 'it's just a bit of paper' xxx

 

[comotion89]

well its none of their buisness is it, god i hate people like that...people are so quick to make comments like at myself cuz im in an interracial relationship (im black, oh is white)
you do whats best for you two

 

[TaylorsMummyx]

i get the same thing! been with FH since 16, just got engaged at 21. My BFF is newly single and going out EVERY weekend and keesp asking me to come, i have two babies to look after! she keeps making snide comments about being chained to kitchen sink, and im too old before my time ect. I did the clubbing getting drunk scene when i was alot younger, im now ready to settle down!! Arghhh makes me mad! She also wont help me plan because im "rubbing" it in her face as shes just broke up with her bf! lol grow up..

 

[michyk84]

I agree sounds like a touch of jealousy to me don't let them get to you only you & your oh know if its right

 

[Feltzy]

Don't listen to them hun, they don't seem like they're worth bothering about anyway.

When me and OH got engaged 5 years ago I was at a works meal when someone mentioned it and I got the same thing. Somebody asked me where my ring was, I said we were shopping for it at the weekend and they said 'so you're not engaged then?'. Erm yes being engaged is about wanting to get married to the person you love not just to get a ring on your finger! They then started to go on about how they hate it when people get engaged but don't set a date, after they'd asked and I said we weren't sure when the wedding was going to be yet. Thankfully one of my true friends came to my rescue and said 'well I'm happy for Feltzy, congratulations', to which I thanked them and the rest of them shut up.

You just have to shrug off these negative attitudes, these people know nothing about our lives they just like to stick their noses in where its not wanted!

 

[Kiki1993]

Thanks for all the helpful replies! Thank god I have this website
Guess its not just me that gets 21 questions about being engaged and why we chose to do so and everyone commenting. I tell them "look i've heard what your saying before so you ca stop now" but they never do, they just continue because they just want to tel me their opinion ... it makes me soo annoyed! We know its what we want and that should be enough for them to accept it and shut up at that but nope!
Thanks again everyone, just realllly needed to rant about yesterday, i especially dont like getting called stupid by a 36 year old woman who acts like she is 13 still! She tells me i should "live life while i'm young and just act my age" Maybe, she should take her own advice .... wish i could say that to her face but i can tell what would happen, she would spin the story to make me look like i was mockiing her or something! It makes me mad! I dont need to get judged for everything I chose to do, they act like I'm going to take their advice and call off the wedding or something its ridiculous!
not one of them even said congratulations when they found out, they all just basically made fun of me and its not something to be mocked :/
Thanks everyone

 

[leahsbabybump]

aww hun thats terrible take no bloody notice. Its wasnt so long ago people were getting married at 16 (grandparents) and there relashionships never ended in divorce :-/
my gran was married at 16 and had her first born at 17 and and my grandad have never looked back also my aunt and uncle were married at 18 and they are as happy as larry me and my OH have also been togeather since i was 19 and we are now getting married i dont see that we will ever divorce
divorce has nothing to do with age its all on happiness
i personally wish you all the happiness as lomng as you happy thats the ground of a succesfull marrige

 

[EmmyReece]

I'd turn around and say "well who asked you anyway?", at the end of the day it's yours and h2b's wedding, so why on earth should anyone feel the need to tell you that you're wrong??? I find it really rude of them to do so

 

[Kiki1993]

Thanks I am so happy with my OH and love him with all my heart and know that we wont e getting divorced! I don't know why people think its so weird ecause 45 years ago it was completely normal and not many got divorced x

 

[Kiki1993]

I'd turn around and say "well who asked you anyway?", at the end of the day it's yours and h2b's wedding, so why on earth should anyone feel the need to tell you that you're wrong??? I find it really rude of them to do so

Thank you! I always say "well i've heard it all before so you don't need to repeat this lecture." But that sounds so much better, next time i will be using that quote for sure! And they definitely will eat there words when we are happily married still when we are "the right age" (whatever that is) to get married

 

[EmmyReece]

as long as it's legal then as far as I'm concerned people can get married when they want, so as long as you and oh are happy then that's all that matters xx I've noticed that everyone thinks they're entitled to give their opinion on how a wedding is organised, but as I say as long as you and oh are happy then stuff what anyone else thinks xx

 

[Kiki1993]

Thanks I agree When I told people our budget which was £3500 (but is now £2500 as this is more realistic) they were like "you will struggle with that" or "i thought weddings cost like £10 000 nowadays" .... We have other important things to pay for like moving out! If I didnt want family and close friends present at the wedding we would just go abroad and do it just us But I couldnt imagine my mum and siblings and nieces and nephew etc not being there

 

[EmmyReece]

if you can do your wedding on that budget then go for it if you're good with your money then you won't struggle at all. I really don't know how you keep your cool with people saying things like that.

 

[Kiki1993]

Thanks I'm great with budgeting because thats how I grew up whereas OH will struggle haha And I literally bite my tongue!