Rant - am I being mean?

[Aphy]

I am hoping that I am not abnormal in finding some days easier to deal emotionally with ttc than others...then I get days like today where if one more person tells me to "stop thinking about it,stop planning,it will happen when you least expect it" then I want to scream. Don't get me wrong,I fully understand that the family/friend/colleague means it in the most supportive and best way possible but my mind wants to scream "how can anyone who really wants a baba NOT think about it?" And when this advice comes from someone who fell pregnant extremely easy then it's even more difficult for me. I sometimes just wish they would consider what they say since that advice is definitely not relevant to someone who has potential PCOS and has been ttc for a while without results...you have to think/plan it! I really appreciate their well meaning and loving advice but some days it either makes me want to burst out crying or scream in frustration. I honestly would just prefer a big hug without any words. Am I being mean? I know I'm hormonal currently which probably plays a role in this rant too and because I know I'm sensitive I will obviously never ever voice a single one of my feelings out loud to them but it still hurts inside 😔

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

nope not mean.

 

[sweetysangel8]

Not mean at all. We all have our good and bad days. Ttc is highly emotional especially since we can not control what happens.

 

[Emilylove13]

Not at all. I have PCOS (didn't know it when trying for my daughter) & it took 19 months to get pg with her. It sucks, I know. Ironically we did stop trying the last month and I got pg that month, but I think it was a fluke. Anyway I know how you feel and you're def not alone! Good luck!

 

[squirrel.]

Not at all mean. People don't realise how hurtful and frustrating seemingly-innocuous little things like that can be to someone TTC. To me the worst are my doctors. I just don't understand now in a profession where your manner with patients is so important, they can make such enormous faux pas.

Here are my choice favourites from appointments I had back when we'd been trying 12 months:

Be grateful for the children you have (as if by wanting a third child as this is what I have always dreamed of having, I am somehow being ungrateful for my children or not appreciating them. if anything, this struggle has made me appreciate them even more!)

Relax and it will happen

A year isn't very long

Friends and relatives I can forgive, but a doctor ought to have more tact

 

[Mummafrog]

I think it's a very normal reaction you're having, even in your rant you sound like a very kind and loving person. I think often people just don't know what to do or say and get it wrong :/ you don't have to voice these feelings in a negative way but you can guide them to help you better, such as saying gently 'I'm going through something and I just need you to listen and hug me after, because I've heard all the advice'.

I'm sorry your journey isn't straight forward, blessings sent your way from us

 

[Emilylove13]

Not at all mean. People don't realise how hurtful and frustrating seemingly-innocuous little things like that can be to someone TTC. To me the worst are my doctors. I just don't understand now in a profession where your manner with patients is so important, they can make such enormous faux pas.

Here are my choice favourites from appointments I had back when we'd been trying 12 months:

Be grateful for the children you have (as if by wanting a third child as this is what I have always dreamed of having, I am somehow being ungrateful for my children or not appreciating them. if anything, this struggle has made me appreciate them even more!)

Relax and it will happen

A year isn't very long

Friends and relatives I can forgive, but a doctor ought to have more tact

Thankfully my ob/gyn specializes in infertility and had to go through treatments herself to have her twins. So she understands.

 

[bumbleberry]

Nope not mean, but sometimes people don't realise that what they're saying feels insensitive to us. This is why I love BnB, I find everyone here is going through their own journey but understands that it's not the easiest for everyone, we can vent here and others understand

 

[WishnandHopn]

Nope not mean at all, totally understandable! Rant away!

I'm going back to my old job after a one year assignment in a different department and I'm bracing myself for how many people are going to ask me why I'm not pregnant yet. Haven't quite figured out how to brush people off...jokes are my standard response but I'll only be laughing on the outside.

 

[Aphy]

Thanks everyone...helps to know im not crazy

@Wishnandhopn - good luck at work. Not going to be easy but keep strong! Eventually we are all going to get our BFP!

 

[mama.mouse]

"It will happen when you stop trying" is my absolute worst!! Only second to "So when are you guys gonna have kids huh?"

Its ok xxx We all get you.

Also hey fellow South African! (I totally knew it when you said baba )

 

[Geebug x]

Totally understand

I am fine for weeks/months and then I'll break down.

Last night was a break down

Its really hard, and not everyone understands xx

 

[Aphy]

I hope you are feeling a bit better this morning Geebug! Just keep trying, it will eventually happen for us all xxx

 

[gradschoolmum]

Not mean!!! Someone wrote on my FB wall the other day that we needed to start having kids already, and I couldn't decide if I was incredibly mad or sad. Ugh. And yes, some days are completely fine, but not being pregnant this month seemed like too much.

 

[Aphy]

Not mean!!! Someone wrote on my FB wall the other day that we needed to start having kids already, and I couldn't decide if I was incredibly mad or sad. Ugh. And yes, some days are completely fine, but not being pregnant this month seemed like too much.

That couldn't have been great to get that message! I honestly don't know how some people think...