[rant] I did not think I would be this self concious

[emicakess]

I always heard my pregnant friends, and other pregnant women around here and there say that they feel fat or are self concious of their preggy body. I ALWAYS thought to myself that I would never be self concious of myself pregnant. I think that pregnant women are so beautiful, I actually thought I would love my body more. And in a way I do. I know that I am pregnant and I know that it's beautiful. But I just feel like I'm still in that awkward stage, and I just look fat. I've had a few people tell me that they did not know I was pregnant by looking at me. I really didn't think I'd be so worried about it. I was overweight to begin with (not huge, but not fit either) and I was pretty self conscious of that to begin with. My stomach is much bigger, I am thicker, but my bump is not round, it dips in where my belly button is making me look just 10 lbs chubbier, and not like I am carrying a baby. I don't know WHY I care so much about what people think! I want them to see me and know that I am carrying another life inside of me, and don't think that I just indulge way too much. We went out to eat today and I was in a good mood but in the back of my mind I kept thinking about people looking at me and I kept wondering if they think that I eat out way too often. I don't know.. it's sooo stupid, and soooo shallow. I know that with being bigger probably comes more physical pain but part of me just can't wait to actually look pregnant and not like a blob.

Temporary hormonal issues haha.

 

[hotslinthesun]

I'm on my second pregnancy and in that awkward stage too. I think it's normal to feel self-conscious at this point, regardless of where you started off weight wise. I've always been fairly slim, but with this being my second pregnancy things are showing much earlier and I feel like people look at me and think that maybe I should just start doing sit-ups! What's helped me feel better is to embrace the bump and wear shirts that show it off - maternity shirts with empire cuts or more form-fitted shirts. Just so that it doesn't look like I am trying to hide something. I've also learned that you are going to feel like you look so much bigger than you are. I remember with my first I thought I was huge at 4 months, and when I look back at the pictures it's hard to tell that I was even pregnant! Haha.

 

[emicakess]

Thank you! You are so right, girls always think they are bigger than they catually are! Whenever I go through any old photos I always think how good I looked but back then I didn't think so lol I'm sure it's the same for pregnancy. I think (and hope) I will feel much better when it is obvious to people! Like I said I am a lil on the bigger side so.most of my shirts are always tight on me anyway but I did buy some maternity shirts in hopes it would make me look more like I'm pregnant and not just chub-alubs I just can't wait for my tummy to round out because I have always have this crease where my belly button is and the bottom of my stomach has more fat, so my tummy is kinda lumpy andit's getting bigger but isn't round which me not look pregnant. If that makes sense lol

 

[emicakess]

Here's a picture from today
It's HUGE but not baby bumpish.


I was looking through pictures to put on here after I wrote this... and I feel so silly haha.

 

[tryfor2]

Oh hon, I know. It's hard. Partly hormonal of course, but also partly because pregnant women attract a lot of attention--much of which is focused on your body. It's almost like you become public property for a few months. Sometimes I just want to disappear.

I get it. Last pregnancy I got really self conscious (and my bump was high and round and pretty obvious as my limbs are fairly slim, so I think this has little to do with the shape of your bump) about people thinking I was fat instead of pregnant. Suddenly everyone seemed to be giving me double takes (I'm sure they weren't). Once I was really obviously pregnant the looks seemed to continue but this time I thought it was because people thought I was too old to be having a baby (35).... See, it's always something. If you had an obvious bump you'd likely be self-conscious about something else.

This time around I find I am borderline obsessed with the size of my bump, continually comparing it to last time. You tend to show sooner and be bigger with subsequent pregnancies and I find I'm overly worried about showing "too much" or "too soon." I've gained more weight at 21 weeks than I did at this point last time and fret I'll gain too much. I'm constantly looking at my belly and just about burst into tears when someone commented "you're spreading." At a party last night a woman didn't realize I was pregnant and when she found out I was 21 weeks along said "you're TINY!" This pleased me more than I should admit. I mean, I'm growing a human life--why shouldn't I appear to be? And yet society praises you when you somehow don't appear to be. Another form of sizeism, I guess. It's not like anyone exclaims, "wow, you're HUGE! You look GREAT!"

All that to say if your feeling are "stupid" or "shallow" then so are mine! No doubt more so! I think it's not uncommon though (at least, that's what I tell myself!). It's uncomfortable to endure all these physical changes (remember puberty?), no matter how positive the outcome.

I know I'm not helping, but I do empathize....

 

[emicakess]

Oh hon, I know. It's hard. Partly hormonal of course, but also partly because pregnant women attract a lot of attention--much of which is focused on your body. It's almost like you become public property for a few months. Sometimes I just want to disappear.

I get it. Last pregnancy I got really self conscious (and my bump was high and round and pretty obvious as my limbs are fairly slim, so I think this has little to do with the shape of your bump) about people thinking I was fat instead of pregnant. Suddenly everyone seemed to be giving me double takes (I'm sure they weren't). Once I was really obviously pregnant the looks seemed to continue but this time I thought it was because people thought I was too old to be having a baby (35).... See, it's always something. If you had an obvious bump you'd likely be self-conscious about something else.

This time around I find I am borderline obsessed with the size of my bump, continually comparing it to last time. You tend to show sooner and be bigger with subsequent pregnancies and I find I'm overly worried about showing "too much" or "too soon." I've gained more weight at 21 weeks than I did at this point last time and fret I'll gain too much. I'm constantly looking at my belly and just about burst into tears when someone commented "you're spreading." At a party last night a woman didn't realize I was pregnant and when she found out I was 21 weeks along said "you're TINY!" This pleased me more than I should admit. I mean, I'm growing a human life--why shouldn't I appear to be? And yet society praises you when you somehow don't appear to be. Another form of sizeism, I guess. It's not like anyone exclaims, "wow, you're HUGE! You look GREAT!"

All that to say if your feeling are "stupid" or "shallow" then so are mine! No doubt more so! I think it's not uncommon though (at least, that's what I tell myself!). It's uncomfortable to endure all these physical changes (remember puberty?), no matter how positive the outcome.

I know I'm not helping, but I do empathize....

You are totally helping!!! It's really good to know I am not alone, and that my feelings aren't stupid... because I feel pretty dumb. I should just embrace this and be happy with because I will miss it when it's gone! My brain is fighting with itself because I know that, but at the same time I can't help how I feel. It feels good to write it down, get it out, and talk to people who can relate. I love your comparison to puberty! I didn't even think about it like that but you are right! Puberty is full of hormones and body changes just like pregnancy haha.

 

[tryfor2]

Here's a picture from today
It's HUGE but not baby bumpish.


I was looking through pictures to put on here after I wrote this... and I feel so silly haha.

That TOTALLY looks like a baby bump! Okay, there's a teeny, tiny indent but I assume you're not walking around in crop tops! Your bump is very round; flab simply does not look like that, even a guy's round beer gut. Completely different. I think the only one who's unconvinced is you!

I admit I had to stifle a giggle when you said your bump was "HUGE." Once you hit 36 weeks come on back to this post and have a good laugh. Trust me, I know "HUGE" and this ain't it!

 

[xQuinnx]

Hello ladies I'm really pleased to have found this (although all the feelings and angst sound crappy!). This is my first pregnancy and I'm already finding myself starting to obsess over the size of my tummy even though I'm only 13 weeks 4 days when I've spoken to some of my other pregnant friends they don't seem to have these feelings at all and I felt so lonely. It's good to know that other people do feel similar and that I'm not alone.

 

[alex_22]

I could have wrote this myself! I wasn't thin to start with bmi of 29 size 12-14 and still carrying weight on my stomach from my last pregnancy, it's horrible feeling like I don't even look pregnant yet when I'm already 23 weeks, I have to say though you definitely do look pregnant here's s photo of my chub/bump haha

https://i992.photobucket.com/albums/af48/alex_2211/IMAG0606_zps9a8e9751.jpg

 

[firefly15]

that is very definitely a baby bump and not chub - for both of you! I can totally sympathise with how you feel though! Have you tried over the bump pants or a bump band? I found when pg with DS that suddenly I had what felt like a proper round bump as soon as I put on maternity jeans with the over bump panel it was great!

 

[alex_22]

I think it's just because by now with my son I had a definite bump it's just taking a little longer to show this time, I've just been buying leggings a size bigger to cover over my bump but will definitely be investing in some maternity pants x

 

[kris85]

Here's a picture from today
It's HUGE but not baby bumpish.


I was looking through pictures to put on here after I wrote this... and I feel so silly haha.

Beautiful bump hun!!! I know we are way to critical our ourselves but honestly you look lovely

I know exactly what you mean though. I'm really struggling with how I look.. and I'm starting to really show (and being only 5'1 I look huge!). Some days I'll go out feeling confident and good then I'll see a reflection of myself in a window and that nice feeling goes out the window!

Does anyone else feel like everyone stares at your stomach now?? I'll be out and about and feel so many people looking. I'm sure they realise I'm pregnant but it just makes me feel so self conscious!

 

[RinnaRoo]

Lots of women are so obsessed with the perfect round basketball belly, that anything different from that just makes us feel fat. Believe me I know. I short and wear a 14 US, so I'm automatically a heavy girl. I've been wearing belly bands to help shape and support my belly so I look pregnant and not fat.

 

[MichelleW]

I don't think there is anything wrong with either of your bumps, mine can be a funny shape depending on what I'm wearing, I thought my bump was about average, I mean I know I'm no slim person but I didn't think I was particularly big until my crappy sonographer made me feel like a fatty, my bump is pretty hard and my hubby says its a pregnant belly shape, my bump definitely bigger than first pregnancy but I had a really small bump until about 28 weeks pregnant last time and then every week after it just grew so quick lol, easier said than done cause I certainly have my moments, we should embrace our bumps cause they will be away before we know it xxx

 

[MichelleW]

oops im upside down lol, don't know how to fix it!

 

[bumphope]

Looks like a perfect bump to me too love

I find what I wear affects how pregnant I look, the more fitted the better at the minute, total polar opposite to how I usually dress!

This said, I know exactly what you mean about feeling self conscious! I also never thought I'd feel self conscious, but I do, and I find myself worrying about any millimetre I've put on anywhere other than my bump, and I find myself dressing to exaggerate my bump so everyone knows I'm preggers and not just fat! Hehe

X

 

[lala222]

Oh hun I feel ya. I never felt this this during my first pregnancy..but after i had my son I lost all the baby weight and got back in good shape and I find this pregnancy the belly is bothering me a lot more. I think it's beautiful too, but a lot of the time I just feel massive and I'm only just almost 17 weeks lol. The way I handle the self consciousness is by dressing in nice, pretty maternity clothes and carrying myself with confidence (even if I'm not feeling it, fake it till ya make it , haha)

 

[lala222]

oh heck, I'll upload a bump pic of myself as well..this was around 15 weeks..I think my bump is big here at 15 weeks...its grown even more in almost 2 weeks since this.

 

[MissyBee]

I had not thought that it would make me feel down on myself either. My pregnancy was unplanned, and I had lost almost 60lbs immediately before becoming pregnant. I went from being obese and a size 12 to healthy and a size 3. Well, now I'm back up to a size 6 to 8 as much as my belly has grown (luckily I have all my old clothes, no pricey maternity pants for me!) and my BMI is hovering just below the overweight category again. Obviously I know this is normal and nothing to be worried about, it's just upsettin as I had spent half a year working so hard to lose all the weight. I'm thrilled about my little baby girl though, she's worth all of it and more. I'm just not liking my body now. I miss all my tiny clothes that I only got to wear for a short time.

 

[Nikki B]

It's crazy how much this can bother a girl! With my first child, I was not really bothered at all by showing; I'm also overweight, a 12-14 US, so it was nice for once not to feel fat, and I was lucky enough to pretty much be all belly. I lost all the baby weight right away afterwards, and aside from a little loose flap of skin on my lower belly no worse for the wear, at least nothing I couldn't live with.

Right now I'm 18 weeks pregnant with twins, and I've been having a really hard time! I'm measuring now what I was at 6 months with my singleton, and I'm soooo freaked out about how huge I'm going to look and how damaged my stomach is going to be after twins! After not really caring with my first, I'm shocked at how much this is bothering me. I'm sure it is partly hormones, but that really doesn't make it feel any better