Rant..I'm going to go crazy!

[AMAS86]

Yesterday started my first day back in medical classes. Spent 8 hours on my feet and didn't have time to eat except a freaking bag of chips and candy bar. We only get 15 min between classes so no time to run and get a meal. Here I am heavily pregnant with hypoglycemia and I get sick easily if I don't eat meals, full course meals. On my way home I started crying, hurting so bad in my back, hips, pelvis, and weak as hell. Had contractions ALL day yesterday, luckily they weren't close enough. I picked up the kids, came home and cleaned the mess that my SO once again promised to clean but never did. He comes home and asks what's for supper as I'm sitting in the tub crying in pain. I told him I'm hurting too much to cook, he walks away. I get out and go to town to get supper and come back to him cooking spaghetti ( 2nd time he has ever cooked in our 4 year relationship), messed the kitchen up that I just spent an hour cleaning IN PAIN. I fed my kids then went to lay down.He never came to bed last night. I woke up to a sink full of dishes that he messed up and didn't bother washing for me. So I threw my $2000 set of pots and pans in the trash this morning. I'm tired of not getting any help around here. I'm tired of him playing his Xbox one from the time he gets home until after midnight, so roughly which is around 9 hours a day. He sets his alarm clocks 3 hours before he needs to leave because he is afraid he will be late for work and he snoozes it every 5 minutes. I don't get ANY sleep because of it. He doesn't care. He just wants to play his Xbox all night and wake me up every 5 minutes from his alarm because he can't go to bed at a decent time. The couch is piled with 3 loads of laundry that needs to be folded and instead of him foldin them for me, he sleeps on them. I do everything around the house. I change the a/c filter, I drag the ladder out and change light bulbs, I take the nasty ass trash to the curb, I mow and landscape the hell of a lawn in the spring/summer, I do everything a man should do. They nursery (spare room) hasn't been touched even though I ask him daily to take down the furniture so I can get started on it. He thinks since he goes to work and bosses people around that he is giving me everything I need. I get no attention AT all. He wants sex ALL the time but won't give me what I need which isn't much. If it wasn't me wanting to prepare my cervix for an easy delivery, sex would be way out of the question. Sorry for the rant. I'm just so mad right now!

 

[Monzter79]

Aww! That sounds really rough. Some men can be very lazy.

IMO, you threw the wrong items in the trash. Rescue those pots and pans- and chuck that xbox.

I'm sure your partner must have some redeeming qualities or you wouldn't still be with him. But, it sounds like he's really failing you as a partner and co-parent right now. You deserve better than that!

He's gotta know that you don't just get resentful and angry with him for being so unhelpful, but it makes us lose respect for them as men. Because.... they aren't acting like men. Personally, I wouldn't want to leave my relationship so vulnerable, by making myself so unnecessary.

You're working so hard! It's no wonder you want to have a rant. I think anybody would be angry in your shoes.

Also, he's spending WAY too much time with those video games. Some people have very real problems with addiction to gaming. My ex boyfriend did! He spent all of his time away from work gaming. Came to bed late and got up early- same thing with the alarm. Then he stopped working and gamed all the time. He had his dinner at the computer, etc. He started having temper issues. Anything that got in the way of his time gaming would make him angry. I ended up sleeping in our guest room with my dog, and then finally.. with someone else!

I don't know if your situation is quite so dire, but he better step it up!!!

 

[AMAS86]

I ended up getting them out of the trash a few minutes ago. I wish I had the guts to just beat ththe Crap out of his game system. Knowing him he would just go buy another.
I have lost a lot of respect for him. I've told him that. I feel unappreciated a lot of times and I make that clear also. He always tells me I need to get my priorities straight, well I've been in college since 2010, I was a working single mom when we met in 2011. My priorities is more straight than his.. He has spoiled my kids and took them in like his own even though their dad is in their life. I guess that's why I always looked over his gaming because we use to be his top priority but now he's all about his games again. His best friend is the same. They both stay on their gaming system all night. His friends wife doesn't care though. Their house is always nasty and they don't pay attention to their kids and I guess that's why my SO thinks it's ok. He doesn't get why I get so angry at him even though I'm straight up honest. When my kids go to their dad's on the weekend, we have time to actually spend together just one on one but his damn game!! I just want his attention without sex. If I go anywhere outside of the house I have to go alone, like out to dinner because he doesn't want to get off his game long enough. I have shopped for the baby all by myself. He thinks just handing over money and buying me new things makes up for it but he is so wrong. I don't give a rip about the money. When I go buy groceries I have to use the electric cart because my pain is so bad and he won't go shopping for me or even with me. He complains about how he is so tired and I honestly don't care. He should get in bed sooner than 5 hrs before he has to get up for work. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I've told him how I've felt many of times and nothing. He is also way protective of his unborn. I can't even wiggle my belly to get her to move with him freaking out that I'm hurting her. He also says he doesn't want anyone holding her after she is born. That would be understandable if it was rational but he doesn't even want grandparents to hold her. Wth? Idk. I feel like I'm always being a bitch. I'm just tired of it all. Im tired of doing everything in the house in excruciating pain. Now I've got to go get ready for class ugh.

 

[misscyn]

I honestly don't know how you do all that, and go to medical school at the same time. I sometimes feel like I do most of the work at home too, but not to that extent, and I only have one child to take care of (DD is 4, and I'm expecting DD#2 in early March). But anyway, it really does sound like he has a serious gaming addiction. My downstairs tenant is the same. He does nothing but game all day, doesn't even work. I'm not sure exactly how he pays rent every month...

It sounds to me like you would need some kind of couple's therady, and maybe he needs individual therapy for his gaming. Because if he knows how you feel and isn't changing his ways, it's just a matter of time before you snap and decide to leave his lazy a**. If you can make him understand that you're at you very wits end, he may accept to seek help. I think your other option is just to accept the situation and stop nagging him, but then I think it will be just a matter of time before you implode. Good luck hun. xx

 

[Pens]

Wow, you must be super woman! Bless you
I moan when my OH doesn't help our bathrooms and kitchen when I'm really uncomfortable and hurting and it makes me want to hit him round the head with something so I dread to think about how difficult it is for you!
I really wouldn't even know what to suggest other than sitting down and really talking about it without his Xbox interrupting, but from your post it doesn't seem like he would cooperate anyway. I really hope things get better for you soon, it's so unfair xx

 

[honeysuede]

I am so sorry to read that That must be so hard for you. I had a realtionship that ended due to an online gaming obsession, it makes you feel invisible and worthless and I wasn't even pregnant at that time (10 years ago). I was so nervous of buying my OH an xbox one for xmas in case of him doing the same but thankfully he hasn't.
Could you perhaps ask for a one on one talk one evening, not xbox, tv or kids, just the 2 of you having a serious chat about things. Tell him you understand his passion and accept that, but he needs to make time for his relationship with you too and money doesn't count. When the baby comes perhaps he will change? big hugs hun, you are super woman doing all of that. I hope he sees sense xxx

 

[calm81]

My goodness, my hat goes off to you. Is your husband a man or a boy?? I like to play board games and game apps on my phone when I'm bored or waiting at doctors office, but to his extent??? Holy crap!!

I certainly wouldn't have tossed my expensive pan set to the trash, rather, gather his Xbox and set it on FIRE!

Hugs are being sent your way.

 

[Lissy_Sweetie]

You definitely deserve a medal for doing all that! I'm studying at home and that's hard enough.

When my husband was spending way too much time on the Xbox I went mad at him - then hid his favorite games - I only returned them a month later once he promised to not spend so much time on them (which worked luckily!!!).

I hope you can make him see sense and see how lucky he is to have you!

 

[AMAS86]

I think I spoiled his ass at the beginning of our relationship. I've sat him down numerous times to talk about his gaming. All I get is "I'm not obsessed. It's a hobby and I enjoy playing". I always end up walking out the room crying. He honestly doesn't understand. He never will. At the beginning of our relationship he told me he isn't sympathetic and can not and will not try to put his feet in other people's shoes because he doesn't care. Well its true. He doesn't care about people's feelings, at all. Only good thing about his gaming is I know where he is. He's too much into his games to be cheating LOL. I know he's coming straight home from work and no where else. So sad but talking and even walking out didn't make a difference. He has every single game system there has ever been and has over 200 games. I wish I would had known this before I fell in love with him lol. IIf it wasn't for his gaming, he would help me out and there would be no issues in our relationship but damn those gaming systems