RANT- pissed off and off topic

[Frippledip]

OK so I just wanted to get everyone's opinion on something. A tiny bit of background: My two best friends (they are sisters) who are actually no longer friends as far as I am concerned. We had a falling out about a year ago, and recently they have been in contact, emailing and seemingly trying to mend fences. I had been going through some rough times, and I made the STUPID mistake of telling them I was seeking therapy for some of the issues that had contributed to our falling out. Even though I was not entirely at fault for this rift, I spent a very long time blaming myself entirely, and have only realized the past couple of months that I am pretty angry at them too. Also stupidly, I told them that I was pregnant with the bean I ended up losing. When I had to tell them I lost it, I got the expected response, I'm so sorry, it must be hard, etc. Then one of them hit me with it. She says, "well maybe it will happen again when you're more ready to be a mom." Is she kidding? WTF?! All of this exchange has been via email, also, things have been too raw to communicate on the phone or in person. Then when I mentioned what she had said to her sister (the other former friend), instead of saying "oh, how thoughtless" she says, "well I don't know for sure, but she probably said it because (blah blah blah)" The blah blah blah being my issues. Even worse is that the beotch who said it is about to give birth herself in just a few weeks.

On what planet is that remark not HORRIFIC to say to someone who's just had a mc? And how could the other one not be horrified and actually attempt to justify it? I am pisssed.

 

[impatient1]

That is horrible hun, I'm so sorry that they seem to have a lack of common sense on how to talk to people. Sorry for your loss, and your insensitive "friends".

 

[mrso]

I feel for you. There is no excuse for people who act like that. Dont let them get you down!!! You are the better person and time will show that.

Keep your chin up and concentrate on your family.... that is what I have to do!!

 

[Frippledip]

Thank you both. These two people are not my friends, and I finally blocked them once and for all. I have a lot better things to worry about than two idiots. Seriously there is no excuse for crap like this and I will not indulge their crap. Thanks all for letting me get this off my chest.

 

[AP]

They sound like a right pair of numptys, dont get worked up over them.

i'm so glad you are back frippledip xxxxx

 

[Mumof42009]

You dont need these people they arnt your friends concerntrate on you hun and dont get stressed they aint worth it xx

 

[Frippledip]

Oh yeah...OK so after the 1000th heated email exchange, I finally kicked them to the curb! Blocked their email and phone calls. It's amazing how judgmental and critical they are, and all the time I am supposed to be grateful because they are "such great friends to me." I do not need this in my life. I tried to be tactful and nice and tell them I wasn't ready to talk but she kept provoking me with unfounded assumptions. I told her I was pregnant again, meaning hormonal, but she couldn't let it be. Well i finally let her have it. This is a huge step for me, as I have been angry with them for a long time, and have known that a reconciliation is not going to happen. This is just the "therapy" I've needed. Thanks girls for listening. I try not to post off topic but I had to get this out.

 

[dan-o]

Ugh they sound vile! Better off without em!

 

[puppycat]

Oh yeah...OK so after the 1000th heated email exchange, I finally kicked them to the curb! Blocked their email and phone calls. It's amazing how judgmental and critical they are, and all the time I am supposed to be grateful because they are "such great friends to me." I do not need this in my life. I tried to be tactful and nice and tell them I wasn't ready to talk but she kept provoking me with unfounded assumptions. I told her I was pregnant again, meaning hormonal, but she couldn't let it be. Well i finally let her have it. This is a huge step for me, as I have been angry with them for a long time, and have known that a reconciliation is not going to happen. This is just the "therapy" I've needed. Thanks girls for listening. I try not to post off topic but I had to get this out.

Aren't pregnancy hormones fab!! It is great to be able to say exactly what is on your mind without a second thought to how the other person feels - I NEVER say what's on my mind so am really enjoying my new found freedom.

I am sure that you have lots of friends who will be very supportive of your new bean and also won't stomp all over your feelings like this pair of no hopers.

Be strong honey, your bean clearly is!!

 

[moomoo]

Believe it or not my boss said exactly the same thing after my m/c...and then kept on saying it everytime we had a meeting - it was like he was almost worried that we might be trying and he might lost out on a member of staff... unfortunately there are some prats around...i could tell you some horrific stuff thats been said to me!

Hope your ok
xx

 

[bloodbinds]

Oh that is truly horrible. I'm glad you blocked them both. They were probably insensitive as they've never been through an MC.

Hope you find some friends who deserve you x

 

[Seraphim]

Fripple

It's sad some people only feel ok about themselves when they're dishing it out to other people.

I don't know you, or them - so I'll try to speak for myself...

I had to make the decision (when I got tired of listening to my own moaning) that it was up to me to draw a line under taking crap from people who were incapable of behaving in the way I expected them to... with sensitivity, honour, respect...

Looking back, I'm 100% pleased with the decisions I've made.

But it's hard to know what to do when you're in the middle of these things...

It was lovely how over the moon everyone has been since we broke the pregnancy news, so I was really shocked when I told one of my oldest friends we had some 'good news' and she responded with "Is that a good thing? Is it!?"

Similarly to you, I repeated this to a mutal old friend who justified it with "well she just wants all that for herself..." and I was stumped.

I've stopped letting behaviour like that keep me upset though - it's out of my hands.

Strangely... I received a card in the post a couple of days ago... from the 'unimpressed friend' saying how pleased she was for us. I don't know what to make of it all really - but it's outside of being able to touch me and our happy bean, that's for sure.

Make the most of your wonderful friends, they won't wish you harm xxx

 

[Frippledip]

What's funny is that according to them, "they just care about me and want me to take care of myself." I haven't seen these girls for over a year because of a big falling out, and they assume that just because I wasn't taking great care of myself then that I wouldn't be now either.

Thanks for sharing your story Seraphim. I think I am finally learning not to let people get to me, and I have finally been able to let out some anger that I have felt towards them all this time. Their point of view is "wow, you've held onto this anger for this long...I feel so sad for you because that's not healthy for you or the baby." In reality, yes I have held onto the anger but I was so angry at myself for so long I didn't even realize I was angry at them until recently. Now it's come to the surface and I'm finally letting it out. Yeah, real "unhealthy". The fact that they are sisters and practically the same person makes it even worse. It's always "we this, we that". Unreal. Anyway it's over now, and I feel great!

 

[Mynx]

Good for you Fripple!
You have your own priorities atm and having so called friends like that in your life is something you really dont need! I almost cheered when I read you'd kicked them to the kerb

 

[gracegrace]

Arrrghhh... what a nightmare! Remember, though, there are so many people out there who could be such good friends to you. I hope that now you're finished with this pair that you'll find them...

 

[pheobe]

Yeah I agree with the other girls hun they both sound like morons - you're better off without friends who make you feel crap.

Also whatever your reasons for considering therapy good for you I went last year a total mess after only 4 sessions with a counsellor my life was totally turned around the best thing I've ever done!

Good luck to you and your bean and forget about the 'ugly sisters' lol!

xxx

 

[fingers_x'd]

I know u don't know me - I've joined this site today to find other chicks that r in the same situation I find myself in. Sorry I;m ramblin - Anyway - I'm so sorry to hear that those 2 people have been so thoughtless and said those things to you. You don't need people like that in your life hun. Hope u get everything you dream of - You sound like u really deserve it xxx

 

[Frippledip]

Thank you all so much for your kind words....something I really need right now...

Made me cry tears of happiness....I am worth so much more than that...