RANT! - So cross and upset....

[DragonMummy]

Evening all. Have had a rubbish day and need a good vent. Clomid has left me drained, nauseous and having mad hot flushes and to top it off, I ended up having to answer to some stupid bint at work who decided it was her business to find out exactly why I don't have another child yet. I was being all vague about it all as it's none of her business (we were in conversation with a colleague who is pregnant - one of the many )but she just wouldn't stop asking me questions, despite me obviously not wanting to talk about it. Then she uttered the immortal line (from someone who thinks they know it all yet has no kids nor any immediate plans for them) "you just need to stop stressing about it and it will just happen"


Now. As you can imagine, I didn't let her finish that sentence and actually said to her STOP - don't go there, I will scream if I hear that again. I was nice about it and laughed but made it clear that I was serious.

Normal people would take that as a clue to stop, no?


Nope. She carried on - "oh but I have this friend...." NO - youre not listening. I don't want to hear these stories again - I've heard them before, its not that simple. (plus I hate the implication that it is somehow my fragile and nervous disposition [ha!] that is preventing me from conceiving....)

"but it's truuuue" - look. You don't get it. I DO NOT OVULATE. I have been trying for FOURTEEN MONTHS. Relaxing is not going to cut it. I am on fertility treatment and seeing a consultant every three months. And she said "well worrying about it isn't going to help".

a) how can one help but worry?

b) who the feck said I WAS worrying??? Yeah I am scared it might not happen but i still have my life and it won't END if it doesn't happen. I will just have to get a pony or a tortoise or something.


But WTF - why do people have to be like that? I was so angry that my hands were shaking and i was on the verge of tears (but of the rage kind). I ended up logging off and moving to another desk.

 

[BizyBee]

Sorry you had to deal with her insensitivity. I want to punch everyone that says that to me and I am not typically a violent person. It's awful!

 

[ilovecheese]

I have had it up to HERE with stupid, ignorant people. I am sick of people telling me to relax too, or "don't worry; it will happen some day." how the hell do you know?!, I want to scream.

Try to ignore stupid people hun. I know they're everywhere, but just pretend they're not. I swear some people were put on this earth JUST to test my patience! [and maybe yours too! :ROFL:]

 

[DragonMummy]

violence did cross my mind.... although saying that I do work for the Police so it wouldn't be far to drag me off to the nick on a GBH charge!

 

[EmmyReece]

omg how insensitive can someone be???
big for you hun, you shouldn't have to go through something like that, when this whole ttc business is difficult enough ...
I wish I had your strength as I would have burst into tears and had a raging fit at her ...

 

[annie25]

i get this from pregnant people at work constantly one day i will just turn round and say something like how do u know u got it first month! im 20 months in and stopped worrying about 9 months ago actually!

plus if one on them moans about being pregnant one more time i may lose my rag!!!

 

[R&G2007]

Hey Girls can I join?

Sorry you had such a bad day, I would have lost it too.

Where I work at the moment I have to sit next too two pregnant girls not a day goes by were they are not talking about babies/baby related stuff and people coming up to them doing that stupid noise I have to get up from my desk as I cant take it

Hope everything work out for you soon

 

[tinybutterfly]

violence did cross my mind.... although saying that I do work for the Police so it wouldn't be far to drag me off to the nick on a GBH charge!

aaah that explains why you remained fairly calm, couldn't have done it,
esp not while on clomid

my god, my OH could barely look at me or i was raging against him


and bah, some ppl can't take a hint can they,
if i meet ppl like that i throw it all on the table and then they're embarassed
they asked, and then i walk away

 

[Annie18]

DM, sorry you had a crap day. It's so annoying when people ask about it "oh when are you going to have a baby" erh when i chuffin ovulate. Keep your chin up people just don't understand. My friend the other day told me she had dreamt that i will have IVF which won't work, and then will just "get" pregnant. then offered herself as a surrogate. she was trying to be nice but totally missed the fact it made me feel crap! take care hon xx

 

[elsie2010]

 

[puppymom32]

So sorry DM she sounds like a cow. I hate people like her but unfortunatly they are everywhere. I just tell people we dont want kids and they leave me alone. Maybe u could just say you dont want anymore. Big Hugs.

 

[DragonMummy]

Thanks girlies. We've all had it to some degree haven't we? Normally people have SOME sense of propriety and know when they are being fobbed off but she just wouldn't give it up!

 

[fredlover]

Sorry to hear that hun, how awful. its a nightmare innit!! Plus the clomid doesn't really help us stay calm in these situations!!! I'm just like a bear with a sore head!! ..........I'm a midwife(!) and really struggle to stay calm with women who moan the whole way through their pregnancies!!
I have to try really hard to keep work life separate from home life!!!
xxx

 

[secretbaby]

I didn't know if I should reply to this as I have jumped in from 1st trimester. I can TOTALLY understand how you feel. My ds1 is 11 now and I have been told that I am selfish for only having one child, that my child will grow up spoiled, that I shouldn't put my career before my sons happiness and SOOOOO many other nasty things.

I too felt so angry why should I have to explain my medical history to nosey strangers? I did fall pregnant in 2008 (sadly we lost our son at 27 weeks) and people didn't stop them next they want to know WAS IT PLANNED - oh please can I not have any privacy? then they told me that I was wrong having a huge age gap because it would be like having two separate children..... I am sorry I have misplaced my time machine.

I am not a career woman would love to be a SAHM, I would have loved 2 children nicely spaced without the horrendous medical things I have had to suffer.

Belive me there are some people who just don't stop - who will pry and nose no matter how much they hurt your feelings (I have even had people press for the 'gossip' and details of how we lost our son). You just have to harden yourself to these people. I have a stock of 'lines' that I use when the questions come up. I have had years of practice with people like this.

Please do not let them upset you - it shows the problems with them and there personality.

 

[DragonMummy]

haha yes I have had the "selfish to have an only child" one (I agree - I'm an only child and I hate it) and "oh poor Harry - I bet he'd love a baby brother or sister"

WOULD HE NOW!!!

 

[tinybutterfly]

i'm an only child and i always loved it tbh
never wanted a baby brother or sister... i wanted an older sister haha,
but that was just a phase, i truly enjoyed being an only child

 

[DragonMummy]

I wanted an older brother haha!! I never got on with my mum and she put a lot of pressure on me to do well, which made me rebel naturally into a massive under-acheiver! I think if I had siblings it would have removed a lot of that pressure from me.

 

[Darkest]

(we were in conversation with a colleague who is pregnant - one of the many )

What still! There were about 15 preg with me when i worked there, seems that chair is still busy!

DM, violence is sometimes the answer mwhahahahaha. Provocation, tempory insanity. I'm sure there's a way you'd get around it.
Hope you're not working with/near her again soon. xx

 

[DragonMummy]

Actually theres about another 15! A load have just gone on mat leave so not so many but there were about 16 or 17 at it's peak. It was starting to take the piss.... Quite a few unexpected ones too!

 

[annie25]

i get this from pregnant people at work constantly one day i will just turn round and say something like how do u know u got it first month! im 20 months in and stopped worrying about 9 months ago actually!

plus if one on them moans about being pregnant one more time i may lose my rag!!!

as you can see dm it seems a regular occurance i think my work is the same and they seem to be the worst for the comments i also get becuase they are all older you have plenty of time your still young! i'm 26 not 12!!!

and i have been with my dh 9 years!! if one more person says that to me i think i may resort to violence!

i feel your pain chick!!! xxx