'READ PLEASE' More help..!! PND (Sorry, really long))

[akaash.]

I went to meet the counseller and she was really nice, I'm so happy that finally I'll have weekly face to face support and will learn activities that will help me get through this 'other life' I'm currently living. We spoke about my worries, symptoms and how all this came about. I told her,

My main worries being:
I'll never leave this life
The cannabis caused this
Having the odd wake at night where I feel very normal but so scared and feel as if I've lost my memory
Not been able to tell the difference of something really happening or if I was dreaming
My body feeling asleep
I've lost the plot
Why am I even doing/saying/thinking all this
I'll wake up and this wont be real.

My symptoms (from when it started and throughout)
This is not pnd
Not being able to look after Akaash because I thought I would'nt be able to wake for night feeds
Crying
Confusion of feelings
Not having the energy to bath ect and not wanting to
Numbness
Scared
Feeling I don't know what I'm doing
Blurred vision
Feeling sick
Asking myself questions such as 'what if I'm asleep and this is all a dream'
Again there were more.

I told her that it all came on, on the day I had cannabis, like you she aid that it may have triggered all this. I also told her I think its the caore to my depression (if this is depression)

Hope you have been well, I noticed I am thinking alot more then usual 'again' which is annoying and I'm staring at things to try and become me again btu it just gets my mind working and me saying to myself 'Oh my gosh, I'm still not right...'

Sorry, would you say this is pnd?
And, did anybody's counseller make their panic attacks come on?

Thanks for any advice support!! xx

 

[XfairyhopesX]

Sorry angel i have no personal exp, but a friend of mine who nearly died after a v early baby and massive blood loss developed depression PTSD, she is undergoing counselling at present and she said her waking at night is easing, her clinginess to baby is easing and her flash backs are getting less common. So shes getting there, just thought id share and say its not just you and DEF not your fault darling xxx

 

[akaash.]

Im also seeing things move like walls ect...

 

[XfairyhopesX]

oh god that sounds sooo frightening, have you exp things like this prior to pregnacy? xx

 

[cabaretmum2b]

It does sound like you could be experiencing something like pueperal psychosis. It's thought that psychosis can be brought on by cannabis use, as well as traumatic experiences and just genetic predisposition. It's great that you've got a counsellor now, and I'm really sure that this will be great for you and that you'll start to feel better really soon. You can always talk to us on here for advice when it all gets a bit too much. Hope you start feeling alright soon xxx

 

[akaash.]

thhank you x

 

[akaash.]

Hi thanks alot for the message im glad you pm'd me.. I dont smoke cannabis, I tryed it once and the day I did all this came on. Imust say seeing the walls moving ect its not as bad as it sounds and its happened since having anti depressents. I ve told all the people Im seeing about the cannabis and they have not suggested that.
When I say walls moving I mean like evrything just moving up and down or side to side or getting smaller and bigger and it only happens when waking up to feed my baby .. thanks alot for your message really appreciate the support tarah xx

 

[daniandbaby]

I would have most defo said It was cannabis use if U had said it was pro longed use but seeing as it is a one off time I very much doubt the cannabis can cause this. Was it only the day u smoked u experienced this? Or is it more frequent?

I have seen such behaviour in alot of friends and family due to cannabis abuse.

I dont have much knowledge of PND so I can't comment on that part!

I really hope u get some sense of relief with ur counselling and sort through your issues.

x

 

[aliss]

Unless you are currently using cannabis laced with various amphetamines or hallucinogens, then no, it sounds like you may be experiencing post-partum psychosis.

A counselor is good but it sounds like you would benefit from seeing a psychiatrist who has post-partum experience.

 

[akaash.]

Hi,

Yes I'm seeing Psychiatrist (I don't think she has had this though), doctor, HV, counseller and I also have a volunteer emailing me who has had PND and she definatlry thinks this is PND.

I just always want reassurance, many peole have told me it wares off at about 6 months and recently I've been thinking what if it doesnt go after the 6 months ...

Hopefully it will go one day ... and thats what I'm holding on to

Thanks for everybody's support

xx

 

[aliss]

Aw hun Just take it one day at a time. Try not to get too hung up on the 6 month mark because you can cross that bridge when you get there. Just focus on today.

 

[cabaretmum2b]

Ah, if you haven't been using lots of cannabis then it's probably not that
Don't worry that it's not wearing off yet - it's still early days. My mum wasn't diagnosed with PND till I was 3, so it can last that long! Not saying that yours will, but don't feel bad because it's not gone yet. You'll feel better in time x

 

[akaash.]

thank you .. sometimes I just think its not pnd thats why it may not go in 6 months xx

 

[akaash.]

Ahh.. I just had a bad phase for a minute.. reality hit me!!
I'm still not feeling like Tarah xx

 

[akaash.]

This is so annoying !