Really NOT feeling the love!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by charxxx, Jun 1, 2011.

  1. charxxx

    charxxx Mum & Expecting again

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    Hey everyone..

    Well tmoro is the day I've been waiting for, We have our 20 week scan at 12:15 and hopefully we'll find out if were blue or pink.. Or infact if we remain yellow? who knows! But anyway..I should be over the moon but I just feel like crying :(

    The thing is my bf works a mixture of night shifts and normal day shifts.. Tonight he's working a night shift and he'll get back to his at about half 6 tmoro morning!.. I know it must be hard to only go to sleep for a few hours to wake up and have a busy day or whatever but I'm really praying that he makes it but I know him too well and I have a feeling I'll be going on my own as he usually sleeps in till about 4 when he's done a night shift..

    We made the appointment going by his old shift pattern and then they decided to change it.. The week it changed.. YEP. This week -_- They timed that bloody perfectly.. Not. Then all I got when I tried to rearange the scan was some snotty receptionist saying they were really really busy which is understandable but just not what I wanted to hear.

    And I dunno what it is latley but it feels like my bf hates me :( I dont feel wanted anymore he never compliments me anymore its always just taking the piss out of me.. He always seems moody with me when I used to be the person that made him happy.. And I know it sounds petty but he doesnt sent me texts like he used to I used to wake up to nice texts and it really meant something.. He always used to say how lucky he was to have met me n that I'm beautiful and sexy and everything else but now its just like he feels tied down :( Sex is more like he just treats me like a pornstar for himself to get off then goes to sleep.. And today I found condoms hid on his bedroom shelf he said they were ours from ages ago but I dont know why he'd still have them and why they would just appear on the shelf :( I just accepted it and changed the subject anyway because I'm actually tired of arguing with him.. Its like he's changed into someone I dont really know anymore and I hate it.

    I dont think its because he finds pregnancy unattractive because he still goes out of his way for sex with me but its just not the same anymore, I dont know maybe he's just bored of me and feels he cant leave because of the baby.. I spose the real test is if he shows up tmro or not :(

    Sorry for the essay just wondering what everyone else would do/think & I have no one else to talk to, Obviously not my bf anyway :( xx
     
  2. momof2bb

    momof2bb Well-Known Member

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    so sorry... I think it's all hormonal. He loves you, he wants you...
    I think after you know the gender and more excited about the shopping and ... you will feel much better
     
  3. seoj

    seoj Our family of four...

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    I'm sorry hun... I wish I had THE answer for you. I guess just go with what feels right for you. Talk to him or do whatever it takes to get through... he needs to understand how his change in behavior is making you feel. But even if it doesn't change, then you'll know you did whatever you could... maybe he's just "having a moment"- men have those too... and it will pass? But if it continues or he makes you feel unwanted, then it's certainly not going to hurt things to try to talk it out.

    Is there a close friend or relative you could take to the scan as a "back-up" in case he doesn't make it. So your not there alone? It's always nice to have that support around... even a friend is nice :) Hope you get someone to go and your OH comes around soon hun... I for sure hope he does make it to this appt. It's an important and fun one!!!!

    Best of luck sweetie :hugs:
     
  4. charxxx

    charxxx Mum & Expecting again

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    I hope so too :( It's making me feel sick with nerves already I've got everything crossed in hope that for once he actually keeps a promise.. As for the "having a moment" thing.. I'd say men have them more than women hehe! I'd love my sister or mum to be there if he couldnt be.. But I dont know if they'll be able to :shrug: But hey ho just another crap situation lifes thrown at me lol xx
     
  5. seoj

    seoj Our family of four...

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    Well I would be calling and asking them hun... it can't hurt. Especially if he can't guarantee he'll be able to come... FX'd for ya hun ;) Too bad there's not a switch you could pull to "get him over his moment"- haha. If only!!!!

    Sending ya big hugs... very exciting you find out the gender soon!!! Such a great moment!!! Yay you!
     
  6. Frecks

    Frecks Well-Known Member

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    Man periods happen at least 1 week a month if not more!! Mines on his this week, I hope your oh makes it tomorrow Hun, fair enough he's tired from work but it's a big thing and he should want to be there, you never know he might surprise you :hugs: xxx
     
  7. charxxx

    charxxx Mum & Expecting again

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    Lol! thats funny.. man periods! :haha: & Yeah hopefully! The one time I actually want to be proved wrong haha :) xx
     
  8. Frecks

    Frecks Well-Known Member

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    Let us know how it goes either way xxx
     
  9. charxxx

    charxxx Mum & Expecting again

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    I will do xxx
     
  10. MammyEvans20

    MammyEvans20 Pregnant :D 3rd Tri :D

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    yeah i think that is the best advice, talk it through that is the key to getting through it, it might be that he doesnt realise how his behaviour is affecting you?
    He should understand that your hormonal and even if this is you feeling uneasy he needs to be there to reasure and support you :)
    I have my first scan tomorrow at 13 weeks :) and have made it perfectly clear to my OH how i feel about him coming to these things with me, you need to do the same hun x x x
    Hope all goes well fro you, but phone your mother and that and see if they cou;d come instead just in case
     

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