Really struggling - I DREAD meal times!

[golcarlilly]

I am so fed up, we seem to be going backwards, Myles is just such a complete nightmare with food, if he isn't refusing point blank to even try what I have made then he is either chucking it on the floor, spitting it out and spreading it on his tray or squishing it into a pulp, I try and offer a variety of things, finger foods, home made shepherds/fish pie, oven chips and chicken goujons, sandwiches etc... and he does the same with it all, I am really at the end of my tether, I have tried eating with him and not, sitting him in his high chair or just in the living room with a tray, also tried letting him feed himself with a spoon or fork but he just resorts to fingers! He only has about 12 oz of toddler milk now and doesn't have many snacks so I don't think it is that he isn't hungry.

I know that toddlers do a lot of messy eating and that they are just becoming independant but I thought by this stage he would be showing some sign of improvement in some small way now but he is getting worse not better, honestly I just dread mealtimes and I don't know what to try anymore - all advice gratefully received!

 

[TTC LADY]

I could have written this thread myself, Riya is exactly the same and I've tried everything aswell.

The strange thing is she will eat fine at nursery apparently. Maybe because there are other children eating at same time, or she knows that's all she's getting, whereas at home if she refuses something I tend to make her something else. Also sometimes I resort to giving her a jar which she generally tends to eat. Maybe its just my cooking she hates .

Riya also rarely eats snacks despite me offering her a wide variety - sweet and savouryy. She always throws fruit back at me.

She weighs about 9.3kg and is still in 9 - 12 waist fortunately her weight does not seem to be dropping.

if she's not eati, I tend to give her milk in a Beaker which she will drink. Approx has about 15oz per day.,

Hope others can give us some both advise.

 

[Vicks]

I'm in the same boat ladies, Joe loves breakfast and anything on toast, but apart from that, meal times are a complete struggle.

I'm sorry I can't offer any advice but just wanted to send some hugs over your way x

 

[golcarlilly]

thanks ladies, hopefully someone will be able to help us!

 

[elsielouise]

^&^*& I wrote a really long post spelling out what the dietician and paed said aboout my son's poor eating and the computer ate it!!!

Cutting a very long story short and this is all supported by dietician and paediatrician:

Absolutely they will not starve themselves.
Feed them whatever they will eat to ensure calorific intake (jars are fine)
You can add calories in form of butter/cream/cheese and that should be done if intake low.
They WILL improve
Feed them with a distraction if neccessary (TV in our case as C was so 'scared' of eating following vomiting and sensitive gag reflex).
It can very much be a power thing, stay calm!
If they don't eat a meal and are otherwise healthy simply take it away and offer next snack/meal at usual time.
Try and find something they really like and use it whe C)n need to boost calories if intake poor over a few days but dont use as a 'reward' for refusing other foods.
Let them eat in company of other toddlers (works v well with C).
Um.. cant think of any more will dd if I do

 

[charliebear]

I have a fussy eater here too.
I'm getting better at handling it. I've realised he does pick up on my stressing. I've tried everything too. Mealtimes are never the same here, sometimes he wants to chat others he eats better when we dont.
I refuse to make more than one meal and I often still give a pudding if he doesnt eat if I was planning to anyway.
AJ was compleatly refusing yogurt, (we were buying little starts etc) until he discovered muller corners with 'bits' now he'll eat yogurt with no problems. I put rice down in front of him last week, thinking well he's not going to eat it anyway! He did eat some, grain by grain! It made my week
AJ quite like beans next to toast (no soggy bread/toast here) so will offer that if he's had a 'bad' day.

AJ is 2 next friday and is 24lb. Just going into 18-24 clothes. He gains very very slow, and is down on the 9th centile (not that I take notice of them!) but has never lost any weight.
I'm here if any of you want to chat, I often feel like I'm the only one in the world with a fussy eater.

 

[wellyboot]

I'm really lucky, my daughter is generally a really good eater, but she has had her moments!

One bit of really good advice the HV gave me was to just give her tiny portions and then more if they ask. If they have a loaded up plate, it will put them off.

Also, the advice that they won't starve themselves was always a good one to remember on difficult days. TBH, my HV said to just be tough so I was - if they don't eat what you've offered and it's not something you know they hate, then take it away and don't offer anything else. I've even given back the refused breakfast at lunch-time, and then for tea! Harsh, I know, but it's amazing what they'll eat when they're hungry.

I also have found with my daughter, when she is being difficult, that the whole 'praise them for every mouthful' philosophy doesn't work in the slightest. If she's being awkward, she'll eat much better if I put it in front of her and then walk away and do the washing up or something. I suppose she realises that she's not getting attention by being difficult, so she just gets on and scoffs!

 

[roxie78]

My son can be difficult to be honest but he is a lot better than he was. Some things you give him one week that he eats, you give him the following week and he point blank refuses to eat it! At the moment sandwiches are his thing to play up with. Sometimes he will eat them no problem, other times he gives them back to me or squashes them up into lots of little pieces and throws them on the floor! He eats fine at nursery too like someone else mentioned. He also eats better if his dad is at the table as well! I think he is just testing me to be honest!

 

[lorrilou]

Same here. callum is a NIGHTMARE when it comes to meal times. I did think it was just a phase and wasnt too concerned about it but now, well im at my wits end. He wont eat anything thats wet, which rules out pretty much every meal i make. He is suffering for it, he is soooo skinny and seems to catch every thing going. The only things he will eat are chicken nuggets, sausages, apples and cereal!!

 

[craftymum]

Up until this week really, Jacob was doing this too for a couple of months, it was awful and I was getting so stressed about it too. I dreaded meals as I'd spent so long preparing them only for him to squish it and chuck it on the floor. I asked on here about this and I was told that it's a stage they all go through and that the best thing to do is to ignore it (easier said than done) as if they get any kind of reaction from you at all, they just think it's fun and keep doing it. I ignored it, then I told him that we don't throw food on the floor, then I just took the food away, took him out of his highchair and offered him a snack an hour or so later. I was at the end of my tether with it - there are still food stains on my doors that just refuse to budge! Then one day he just ate every single thing in front of him and he's kept going like that, he still chucks the odd piece here and there but nowhere near as much as he was.
I hope it passes for you soon, but just try not to show him that it upsets you x

 

[joeyjo]

I am so fed up, we seem to be going backwards, Myles is just such a complete nightmare with food, if he isn't refusing point blank to even try what I have made then he is either chucking it on the floor, spitting it out and spreading it on his tray or squishing it into a pulp, I try and offer a variety of things, finger foods, home made shepherds/fish pie, oven chips and chicken goujons, sandwiches etc... and he does the same with it all, I am really at the end of my tether, I have tried eating with him and not, sitting him in his high chair or just in the living room with a tray, also tried letting him feed himself with a spoon or fork but he just resorts to fingers! He only has about 12 oz of toddler milk now and doesn't have many snacks so I don't think it is that he isn't hungry.

I know that toddlers do a lot of messy eating and that they are just becoming independant but I thought by this stage he would be showing some sign of improvement in some small way now but he is getting worse not better, honestly I just dread mealtimes and I don't know what to try anymore - all advice gratefully received!

As you know I don't really know how this feels as G is a good eater & his picky days I am learning are quite similar to most kids good days but I can say a little about what we do.

I always offer G meals at the dining table - he sits right up close to it either in his proper high chair or in the bolt on one. I find trays to far away from him even now. Snacks he has whilst playing but I take them away if he tries to walk round eating.

I always offer fork & spoon and occassionally knife (he likes to try & cut his roast spuds!). He wil generally eat about 2/3rds like that but often finishes off with hands - I just let him I can wash them afterwards, I don't mind if it isn't classic finger food - if he wants t eat shepherds pie by hand then so be it if he starts to throw food he gets 1 vocal warning, a second calm replacing of the food & if he throws it again I take the food away. I found that giving him a side dish for bits he didn't want helped. Sometimes if he doesn't want 1 bit then he doesn't want it on his plate at all.

When I offer a meal I try & include a variety of things in it so he can choose what he wants to eat. For instance I offer pasta twirls with red pesto but I'll also give some chicken & grated cheese & a maybe veg such as sweetcorn or broad beans. Sometimes I mix it in to the pasta dish but he picks out bits if he really wants them If he eats all of one part then I offer a bit more (if I have it).

I try not to spend to long cooking full stop but I definitely don't cook especially for him. He eats what we eat & if he doesn't eat a meal then tough he doesn't get an alternative. I will however offer pudding if it has been planned for the meal - we usually have a dessert in the evening but not at lunch.

Snacks - morning snacks tend to be fruit or homemade cake/biscuit. Afternoon snacks - if he ate a good lunch I offer fruit or toast, if he didn't eat much lunch he gets some or all of it again. He also has access to the fridge & a snack cupboard so if he is really hungry he can help himself - he mainly just gets his drinks from the fridge though.

I try my hardest to only offer healthy foods and trust him to take what he needs from them. When I spoke to my HV because he doesn;t really drink milk any more I was recommended a site from my HV called little peoples plates which has a gadget on it to check how balanced what he eats is and where I need to try and get more into him. It told me he needs more meats - but that is where he gets fussy (& expensive) - he eats significantly more meat the better the cut etc - he loves a rare fillet steak!

 

[charliebear]

I try my hardest to only offer healthy foods and trust him to take what he needs from them. When I spoke to my HV because he doesn;t really drink milk any more I was recommended a site from my HV called little peoples plates which has a gadget on it to check how balanced what he eats is and where I need to try and get more into him. It told me he needs more meats - but that is where he gets fussy (& expensive) - he eats significantly more meat the better the cut etc - he loves a rare fillet steak!

I just wanted to say thank you for this. I've just had a look at The Little People's Plates website https://www.littlepeoplesplates.co.uk/index.html Its fab
I've learnt soo much in 10 minutes especially surprised about the portion sizes.

 

[Abz1982]

^&^*& I wrote a really long post spelling out what the dietician and paed said aboout my son's poor eating and the computer ate it!!!

Cutting a very long story short and this is all supported by dietician and paediatrician:

Absolutely they will not starve themselves.
Feed them whatever they will eat to ensure calorific intake (jars are fine)
You can add calories in form of butter/cream/cheese and that should be done if intake low.
They WILL improve
Feed them with a distraction if neccessary (TV in our case as C was so 'scared' of eating following vomiting and sensitive gag reflex).
It can very much be a power thing, stay calm!
If they don't eat a meal and are otherwise healthy simply take it away and offer next snack/meal at usual time.
Try and find something they really like and use it whe C)n need to boost calories if intake poor over a few days but dont use as a 'reward' for refusing other foods.
Let them eat in company of other toddlers (works v well with C).
Um.. cant think of any more will dd if I do

I have resorted to giving Emma bread slathered in butter and jam or peanut butter a few times as she will refuse to eat and only want 'Jooze' all day. My dad comments on what she gets as he eats healthily, so feeds us super healthy stuff, but like, what is a 17 month old going to do with salad? So I make sure she gets cheese, or oily fish to bulk up the calories. Like today, all she has wanted is Milk, an apple, 2 of these wee tomato crisp bread things she is in love with and she ate a chicken drum stick and a spoon full of rice. That is it. She refused point blank to eat any more. She hardly eats anything at home - even when fed the same food as the nursery makes. I am noticing it now as she is putting on weight now she is eating shed loads at the nursery - they say that she even pinches what the other kids leave.........yet at home, she barely touches her food. And I am a good cook!

 

[golcarlilly]

Jo thank you so much for the website link it is fab!! You are so lucky that G eats so well maybe BLW was the way to go I should have tried it!! I can't believe he likes rare steak the little dude! Off to have a go at the diet thingy and see what it says...

 

[TTC LADY]

great link. Thanks

 

[golcarlilly]

According to the website I need to get Myles to eat more meat and fish and veg which is what I suspected, trouble is he refuses all of them!! For lunch I made a veg soup and we had it with garlic bread and he ate quite a bit, he wouldn't eat the pieces of veg but I had whizzed half of it up and he dipped the bread in it so got some!

We sat him on his little box chair seat at the table instead of in his high chair and told him he was a big boy and he seemed happier (thanks Jo )

We are having a roast for dinner so going to try him with everything and sit him at the table again, wish me luck!

 

[golcarlilly]

He ate literally about two mouthfulls of yorkshire pudding and thats it, refused beef, potatoes, carrots, parsnips, cabbage and gravy he didn't want pudding either though so am thinking he may just be off colour still, thing is how on earth am I supposed to get him to eat more meat and veg if he won't even try them?

 

[TTC LADY]

Same here - I made RIya a pork casserole at lunch, she had 1 spoonful. For dinner made her salmon fillet, sweet potato mash and peas, ate a few peas and rest ended up on floor.

I ended up taking my frustration out on her and shouted at her (felt awful straight after when she started crying)

She'll have about 200 ml of milk before bed, but that's it today aside from fruit, yogurt and weetabix this morning.

 

[joeyjo]

if g has been low on veggies for a few days I try the following

I grate carrot & add it to cheese spread or houmous sandwiches.

I also give sweetcorn straight from the tin as if it was raisins - in fact I sometimes mix raisins, dry cheerios & sweetcorn together

 

[joeyjo]

Ooo and I make aubergine & courgette crisps - thin slices liberally brushed with oil & baked long & low.