Really struggling please help

[Let it be]

Hi all

I haven't been on here for a while as I just don't seem to get five minutes to myself.

My twin girls are 9 weeks tomorrow and we have had an awful time with them, both girls have a milk protein allergy and are now on neocate. I suspect they both have reflux. One twin has been diagnosed as anaemic after a blood test and now the other has to be tested.

What I'm mainly struggling with though is getting both girls to sleep of a night and fitting a routine with them around the already established one I have with my 4 year old.

At the moment one twin goes to bed after her bottle no problems but the other one screams until the next bottle. This has really messed up my routine with my son. My husband and parents have been putting him to bed but he just wants his mummy and says he will sit up waiting for me in his bed at which he falls asleep sitting up, this breaks my heart when I see him like this and I feel like I have let him down especially when I heard him cry last night for me and I could go to him because one of the girls were creating.

By the time I have finally settled her most nights it is between 11pm-midnight and I've had no evening and go to bed exhausted.

I'm really not enjoying this at the moment and I particularly dread the evenings, although lately I dread waking up full stop because the girls have been so unsettled.

Sorry for the long post, I'm just at my wits end and really need any tips or advice from experienced twin mummies, especially those who have an older sibling around the same age. I'm out of ideas to get my girl to go to sleep after this particular bedtime bottle x x xo

 

[Meezerowner]

it's a tough time!

At 9 weeks I was only just trying to get mine into a routine and it doesn't happen quickly. You don't get any time spare and it's horrendous. I think time is the only cure it will gradually get better. We didn't have problem with milk or colic (got lucky there) but we have had anaemia and all the investigations that go with it. One of my girls is on Syntron for it still at 17 months.

My neighbour's twins have milk allergy and she is struggling so much they are 14 weeks now. They are constantly screaming and windy/colicy. She has been at her wits end and like you the inlaws are there most days cos she has a 4yo son too. They are just hoping it will get better when the girls wean and she is thinking of starting solids a bit early (dunno if this should be recommened though?) but they are seeing a dietician at the end of this month. Dunno if you can get a referral?

I was going to suggest if you are bottle feeding could your OH or his parents give the babies their bottles and you settle your son instead?

I remember 9 weeks being so hard though but it does get better!
Although not to stress you but mine still wake numerous times in the night at 17 months I've sort of got used to it.

 

[StayPositive]

No device from me as I am still a complete novice, just didn't want to read and run. Big hugs, I hope there is some good advice out there as I can see us being there in a few weeks time...

 

[skyesmom]

i also can't offer a direct advice but didn't wanna read and run and your post definitely calls for help!

and i also wanted to ask, if you are bottle-feeding, couldn't your OH do that for once and you put your older son in the bed and spend some time with him? i understand your OH is working and he's probably dead tired after 8+h at work, but your daily schedule is far worse than any other job and you DO need a break.

 

[zephyr]

One of ours had a milk protein allergy and severe reflux which wasnt completely sorted till 6 months and shes only just come off reflux medication now at nearly 2 years and is on a special diet to manage it.

like you we were using neocate. If you suspect reflux there are medicines for it that can help.
nothing worked for us except omeprazole and it was the granules, not the suspension that helped us the most once she started solids.

I would go and try and get something for the reflux, it can be quite painful for them which could explain the not being able to settle and screaming till the next bottle.

mine did the same and woke every 20 minutes and screamed the entire day. It was a very stressful time and I couldnt imagine two with reflux
for us it got too much and I just couldnt cope on my own and hubby and I took one baby each over night as it was the only way any of us could get any sort of rest.

in your situation I would really be switching roles with your parents and husband in the evenings. Have them put the babies down while you spend time with your oldest and time to yourself.
If they are unsettled because of the reflux over the day as well, its important that you get a break from that. Good luck!

 

[zephyr]

I have an older boy who was 3 also and two older girls so yes it was very hard having him miss out. The older girls it wasnt too bad but my son was at an age where he still needed me and really missed us.

I normally took my designated baby into his bedroom and fed the baby while reading my son a book and giving cuddles. Or my husband would do that.

 

[Let it be]

Thanks everyone, we seem (fingers crossed) to have turned a corner. The girls seem to have settled more in the last few days and I'm working on incorporating everyone into a bedtime routine, for the last 3 nights all 3 children have been in bed asleep by 9 which is a massive improvement. They have been prescribed some reflux meds today which will hopefully help them a bit more and are checking for allergies to see why they are reacting to neocate so at least I feel like we are getting somewhere.

Thank you once again for all of you messages x x

 

[zephyr]

Glad to hear there has been some improvement! Hope it continues to get better

 

[skyesmom]

those are great news! so so happy for you and keeping my fingers crossed that it continues getting better and better!