Really struggling with waiting just now!

[loeylo]

We are waiting to try for our first, with no real timescale of when this will happen.
We have been together four years, living together for just over a year, and we have just bought and renovated a house which is perfect size for a baby. I graduated last year, I worked for one year in my graduate career on a temp contract but I am still looking for permanent work - although I am sure I will be working full time anyway, and I am on a guaranteed salary.
I was really broody right after we moved into our rental property last year, so we got a rescue dog, but a year later I am super broody again!

Realistically, we both want to be married first, and because of the house and saving money we aren't even engaged yet. And since I haven't got permanent work, we need to save so a wedding is a while off!

We have miscarried twice in the past, and August marks what should be my first babies third birthday, and two years since my second miscarriage. I can't stop imagining what they would look like and how our life would be different with two babies. I don't think these feelings will go away until I have a baby.

I feel like I am wishing my life away!

 

[krissie328]

I am sorry for your loses hun.

I understand how hard it is to wait. We were married 9 years when our lo was born. We struggled with infertility and waiting to accomplish goals. But in the end we used the time to grow our relationship and do things we couldn't do after baby came. I am really glad we waited but there were a lot of tears and frustration along the way.

Now I am sitting here with a 4 week old trying to talk myself out of another one right away! I am super broody but I know realistically we cannot afford another one for a couple years. So for now I am focusing on some personal goals: losing weight, saving to buy a house and paying off all our debt.

Your time will come when it is right. And as annoying as that is to hear, it really was true for us.

 

[MissN8]

Me too finding the wait hard its all about finances with us plus I don't think oh is ready keeps putting it off. I would say concentrate on your goals as much as possible. Sorry for your losses must be hard for you. We have decided wedding can wait until after baby though would that be somethin you would consider?

 

[loeylo]

Thanks ladies.
I know I need to focus on personal goals, and I am trying to do that. We have actually achieved a lot of them - the house, my degree, etc - I have also lost a bit of weight and hope to continue doing that, so I am as healthy as possible for ttc (I'm not overweight and never have been, but I am on the higher end of a healthy weight!)

I suppose the wedding could come after baby, but it is sort of frowned upon in my profession and my family wouldn't be happy. Plus, I would want us all to have the same name. I guess we could do a small wedding, but my partner really would like a big party wedding and I guess it is his day too!

The main issue is that we can't really have "couple" baby goals as my boyfriend really isn't on track just now. He is beginning to soften a bit, but I am walking a thin line between encouraging him and pressuring him so I need to be careful not to push too hard.

 

[tverb84]

I don't know when I'll be having children either so right now it feels like I'm waiting to wtt. Some days are easier and some are harder. On the hard days it feels like I want a baby now but I know I'm not ready yet. Waiting is very impatient sometimes.